Posted on 06/01/2005 2:22:40 PM PDT by quidnunc
We have all seen the pictures of the exploded toads of Germany. (Confess, comrade: you have seen the pictures!) They went with a news story of hundreds of toads, mysteriously swelling, then exploding, in a "dangerous" Hamburg pond. This has now travelled the Internet so widely, as to have popped into my inbox a dozen times.
There were several theories, including unknown viruses, fungal infections, or an undetected swamp gas. A legion of animal-welfare workers, veterinarians, general biologists and specialists in batrachian anatomy, admit to being stumped. Ditto, soothsayers. As the German broadcaster Deutsche Welle haplessly mused, toads are supposed to fall from the sky, not be projected into it.
My own theory is an unsuccessful anger-management strategy on the part of the toads. This is based on the well-attested fact that the toads in that pond are frequently molested by crows.
Now, toads, in my experience, are outwardly of a phlegmatic, irenic, acquiescent disposition. Indeed, there is nothing quite like the sang-froid of a toad. But inwardly, how can we know what torments afflict their gentle psyches?
From a toad's view, you cannot make a demand on the conscience of a crow, nor take him to court, nor plausibly gang up against him, nor vote him out of office. He is just there, watching over you, preying upon your nerves, and helping himself to anything he wants, like the Liberal Party of Canada.
In my whole life, I have never seen a toad express anger in a convincing way. And mind, as a boy, I had extensive dealings with toads. I may even have mistreated one or another of them, in the course of capturing, keeping or releasing. (Unintentionally, I assure you: for I was always well disposed to the amphibians.) Not so much as a hiss, or an "excuse me, buddy." I know bufo toads may exhibit deimatic behaviour — puffing themselves up to look defensively important — but I wouldn't call that anger.
-snip-
Hmm...
Exploding frogs.
French suicide bombers, perhaps?
FYI
If you grab and eat the nasty frog or toad first thing in the morning your day will get better.
Is he saying that Canadian (liberal) Frogs have ‘evolved’ into mad Toads?
Do toads surrender as quickly as frogs?
bump
"BrrrrIng Bing Bing bada bing bing bing"
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