That's a pretty ugly picture you paint there, brother. And yet I must say there's some truth to it.
I think that self-serving sex always ends in contempt. One partner (I hate that Planned Parenthood term, "partner," but there you have it) --- one partner or the other, or both, end up feeling they've used the other one, or been used by the other one. On the part of the "user," this starts to build up feelings of guilt, and then (when you turn the guilt off) cynicism and callousness; and on the part of the "used one," shame, and then (when you turn the shame off) anger hot or cold.
The "Playboy Philosophy" is the manifesto and ideology of self-serving sex; contraception is the paraphernalia.
It does not feel good for long. After awhile it feels bad. Or people's hearts turn numb. They really don't feel that much at all.
Looks like hormone-based oral contraceptives just push that right along: depression and a plunge in libido. And wasn't sex supposed to be good?
The couples I know ---- those I know well enough to know such an intimate thing about them --- who have been married for years and who still have that sweetness, that satisfaction, even that *spark*, are people who see a spiritual dimension in spousal love, who are genuinely self-giving rather than self-serving, who try to respond to each other generously (and they respond generously to the babies as they come, too) ---
Yes, I know married couples like that. They are precious. And they are happy.
Is it possible that God is right about sex?
I am a single fellow whos wife passed 5 years ago.
She was the epitome of romance and ladyhood, very kind and loving.
I am inclined to think that the women these days, for all the brouhaha about romance and wanting a man who will listen and be sensitive is a complete crock, they just want to find a good looking truck driver or doctor.
It is very difficult because I knew my wife for years before we ever even kissed, and whatever passes for "pairing up" these days, I haven't a clue.