Posted on 05/27/2005 11:55:07 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
I saw on television the other day that a fellow named Howard Morris had passed away. His name sounded familiar but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. A few minutes later, a scroll came across the bottom of the screen and this time I knew I had heard the name before but I couldn’t figure out where. It was driving me over the edge.
Then, I remembered.
What got me wasn’t that I didn’t recognize his name, but how in the world could I have forgotten it. He was almost as much a part of my childhood as Ultraman and Happy Raine.
When I was a youngster and Momma would call me in for supper every evening, the TV would be on and I’d hear someone whistling. On the screen would be a tall man and a young kid walking down the road, fishing poles over their shoulders. Then, the announcer would say, “The Andy Griffith Show.”
A few minutes later, it would show Andy and Barney sitting around the jail house, then all of a sudden a rock would come through the window and in the background you’d hear a voice ring out, “It’s me. It’s me. It’s Earnest T. Bass.”
Earnest’s real name was Howard Morris. One of those lovable characters from the show we all grew up with. Even today, the reruns are still playing to a large audience and a new generation of kids are watching Andy, Opie, Aunt Bea, Barney, Gomer and Goober. And we can’t forget Floyd the Barber, Andy’s girlfriend and Opie’s teacher Miss Helen Crump and Barney’s girlfriend Thelma Lou.
Then, there was Juanita, the girl at the diner that you never saw but who Barney was always flirting with on that two-handed telephone. You have to wonder what in the world she looked like if all she had to do was look forward to a call from Barney every day.
And then, there was Ernest T. Bass, the off-the-wall, poetry-spouting, rock-chunking weirdo from up in the hills.
After I heard about his death, I looked him up on the Internet. He had only been on five episodes of the show but it seemed like more. Maybe it’s because I remember him more than the others.
What I found to be more incredible than the number of episodes he was in is that he actually directed several of the shows. When I think of him, I think of that dirty ball cap, his black vest, grungy T-shirt and even grungier pants. How could a guy who looks like that be a director?
I can’t forget the time he came to town wanting a uniform. Andy and Barney, using common sense, figured he wanted to join the Army. They spent half the show trying to get him signed up but they later learned the reason he wanted the uniform was to impress his girl back in the hills because another fellow had come home from the Army wearing a uniform and she was impressed. Another time, the girl told Ernest he had to have an education before she would marry him. When he said his ABCs, it came out “a, b, c, d, q, u, v, x z, Australia!” And his sums (math) went like this: “one possum plus one possum equals eight possums, cause one’s a daddy possum and the other is the momma possum, and that means they wind up with six more possums, and that’ll equal eight possums.”
Or how about the time he wanted to marry the only daughter of the Darlings. You remember them, don’t you? They were the mountain family that came to town every now and then to play some bluegrass with Andy. Come to think of it, they probably did more to introduce country music to the rest of the world than any other group, seeing how re-runs of the Andy Griffith Show are shown all over the world. Anyway, she wanted to marry another fellow but Ernest T had it in his mind to marry her and nothing was going to get between him and his betrothed. Remember when Ernest ripped back the veil to finally “rub lips” with his betrothed only to find Barney, decked out in a white wedding dress, staring back at him. I don’t know who had the most disgusted look on their face — Barney or Ernest.
It’s funny how a TV show becomes part of our lives.
Maybe it’s because even today, 40 years after it went off the air, somewhere, some kid is watching Otis stroll in the jail and close the cell door behind him. Our parents laughed with us as we watched Barney load his one bullet and now our kids are laughing with us as we watch it for the umpteenth time. Someday, hopefully, our grandkids will sit on our laps and we’ll do it, again. That says something about the show if you think about it. Maybe it doesn’t stand up there with a Shakespeare or a Faulkner but it was a classic in its own right because it showed us a time when things were much simpler, a man’s word was his bond and the only thing kids had to worry about was if they’d make it home for supper on time.
A little kid told Howard Morris one time that he wanted to be just like Ernest T.
Howard replied, “Why? That guy’s a nut.”
Maybe so. But that nut has brought laughter to at least three generations so far and how many more we’ll never know.
That’s nothing to laugh about.
Thanks, Ernest. Excuse me, I mean Mr. Morris.
Mr. Bruce is an Andrews resident. His e-mail address is robbinbruce@yahoo.com or he may be reached by mail in care of this newspaper at P.O. Box 2778, Georgetown, SC 29442
LOL That was one of my favorite episodes - when Otis got himself a "horse."
What a great show.
Thanks for the memories.
Had to check it out.I knew it wasn't Dennis I was thinking about on Gunsmoke. It was Ken Curtis ...he played 'Festus the deputy'. While search I found this at imdb.com about
Howard Jerome Morris ... a talented guy that entertained millions
Now that you say it, I do remember this. I had forgotten.
Oh hands down, he was the funniest.
Earnest: "2 + 2: stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp: 4, 25 + 25: tap dance: 50!"
or: Andy tells him: The United States is bounded on the north by Canada, the south by Mexico, the east by the Atlantic Ocean, and the West by? Earnest's reply: "Old man Kelsey's woods." Andy: "No, it's a body of water." Earnest" Kelsey's Crick" Andy: "No it's bigger." Earnest: "Kelsey's Lake." Andy: "No, it's an ocean." Earnest: "Kelsey's Ocean!"
Arrrrrgggggg......I remember.........Tom Poston and Louie Nye too! Cuse' me, I need a swig of Geritol.
Correct. That was Arte Johnson.
I was referring to the Steve Allen Show where Don Knotts was a "man on the street" with Tom Poston and Louis Nye.......sorry. Howard Morris killed me in "High Anxiety" when he played "lilo" professor trying to get Mel Brooks to face his fear of heights. Anyone remember him blowing his nose? (Tacky but funny).
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