You can get Apt for RH9, and the first thing I'd do after getting it is opening a root terminal and typing "apt-get install synaptic".
You replied
Grrrrrrrrrrreatttttttt. I'll tell my grandmother to do that after she installs Red Hat. /SARCASM
Just because you choose to ignore parts of the conversation does not mean we all do the same... If you install redhat (and that would be RHEL2+ at this point) it comes with GYUM installed and in the maneu button, you never have to use a console to install software... here is a screenshot for you.. Its like watching a car wreck on this thread, in very slow motion you just keep getting more and more lost..
I'm jumping in here without reading the whole thread, but I do follow the Linux story in the press. Specifically I build a lot of computers and read about building.
I see no consistence whatever in recomendations for the prefered Linux distribution. I have no fear of Unix. I programmed in C for eight years on an AT&T box. I haven't gotten interested in Linux because the programs I use aren't available. At the moment that would be Sound Forge and Photoshop. The wife uses Electric Quilt. Those plus the internet are pretty much all we use.