Wait a minute...you complain that YOU don't know how to install programs and resolve dependencies in Linux, then when you're told how to do it, you bitch that it's too hard for Granny?
I don't know if you're aware, but Linux isn't RH9. Why would you start Granny out on that anyway? You can pick something out for Granny that's easy to use. I wouldn't expect her to start out on RH9 any more than I'd expect her to build her own washing machine. There's no need when she can get what she wants ready to go out of the box.
The point was, YOU said you were working with RH9. You're not a granny-level user, right? So, don't whine about the complexity of the help you get when you complain you don't know how to do something.
Granny probably doesn't know how to repair her Windows registry after something hijacks it, either. Heck, lots of people who use computers everyday have no idea how to configure their virus/spyware programs. I know, because where I work, people know that I know a little about computers and can help them fix problems. When I talk to them about updating their virus pattern or running their spyware programs so their computers won't crash, I get a glazed look, and a request to come and do it for them from time to time. Point is, anyone who doesn't know much about computers is eventually going to have trouble, regardless of the OS.
If you want a distro that has Apt from the get-go, get Mepis. Then, YOU can help her apt-get Synaptic (from a root terminal, type apt-get install synaptic...can ya do that?), just like you'd help her set up antivirus, firewall and spyware programs in Windows (oh, do I remember those days!).
After that, all she has to do is type a password and click on the programs she wants. Hardly rocket science.
Anyway, you must have been too busy to thank those who truly do want to help you, in spite of your sarcasm.
You're welcome, and feel free to ask any more questions. I'm not an expert, but I'll tell you what I know.