Pregnant Montgomery Student, Banned from Graduation, Walks Anyway

AP Via Al.com ^ | May 18, 2005 | AP

[Diana in Wisconsin]

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — A pregnant student at a Roman Catholic High School, told she could not participate in her graduation ceremony, announced her own name and walked across the stage anyway at the close of the program.

Alysha Cosby's decision prompted cheers and applause from many of her fellow seniors and dozens of others at St. Jude Educational Institute's Tuesday night ceremony.

But some murmured that her act was in poor taste and that it took away from the ceremony, the Montgomery Advertiser reported.

The father of Cosby's child is also a senior at the school and was allowed to participate in graduation. His name was not released.

"I can't believe something like this is happening in 2005. I feel like we have regressed instead of progressed," said her mother, Sheila Cosby. "My daughter has been through a lot and I am proud of her. She deserved to walk, and she did."

Alysha Cosby announced her name and walked the stage after the last senior named in the program was called. Her mother and aunt, Debra Blackwell, were escorted out of St. Jude Church by police after Alysha Cosby headed back to her seat.

"I really came to support my classmates. Doing this was really a last-minute thing," Cosby said after her family left the building.

The school's guidance counselor delivered Cosby's degree to her house early Tuesday afternoon, but she still wanted to participate.

"I worked hard throughout high school and I wanted to walk with my class," Cosby said.

Cosby, whose name was not listed on the graduation program, was told in March that she could no longer attend school because of what were described as safety concerns. School officials told her to complete her class work at home.

School policy states that the administration can decide if a student needs to be homeschooled based on medical safety, physiological well-being and social issues.

[Phantom Lord]

I suspect that the majority of the poster who think the school was in the wrong comes from the fact that the father of the child, though he clearly violated the schools rules, was not held to the rules as the mother was. Its the hypocricy that is upseting.

Had they both been denied the privilege of participating in the graduation ceremony it would be a whole different matter.

[martin_fierro]

(actually, that's a widely-circulated photo of a DIFFERENT pregnant high school senior)

[tickles]

If the father is indeed a senior in this class and was allowed to graduate despite his failure in morals and sex ed, why couldn't she participate? (oh right, he doesn't 'show' so no one can prove he also participated in the act, like she just got preggers by herself)

[Cicero]

In today's world, much can be forgiven if the girl is willing to let her baby live. You can repent your sins and straighten out your life, but you can't restore life to a baby once you have killed it.

Whether she decides to marry this young man, or give her baby up for adoption, or keep it with the help of her parents, all these alternatives are far preferable to an abortion.

[tickles]

It probably is not home schooled, but home bound education. Public schools provide home bound instruction for really sick kids or kids who've been suspended for whatever, stuff like that. Evidently this school didn't completely kick her out for her sin, just didn't want her to contaminate the other students, i guess.

[CitizenM]

You misunderstood. I didn’t say she did not have rights – in general - because she was pregnant. You know what I meant. She does not have the “right” to force the school to go against it’s decision, and disrupt the ceremony because she feels indignant about their stance. Whether she is pregnant or not, she had no right to flaunt her disregard for the school’s authority.

Yes, probably lots of kids in that school have had sex. That does not mean it is okay.

Lots of kids and adults take illegal drugs, that does not make it less of an offense for the ones who are caught.

Lots of people cheat on their income tax. I never heard that the IRS overlooked a case when they discovered someone cheating by saying “Oh, we will let them go, because everyone cheats on their taxes.”

Lots of Catholics use birth control methods. The Church has not changed the rules because many members chose to go against the teachings of the Church.

Lots of people shoplift. I doubt that store owners would decide it was okay for one person who was caught to go without a penalty because others shoplift also..

If you are speeding down the highway along with several others, and the cop stops you and gives you a ticket, can you reasonably argue – and win – by saying “Hey, others were speeding, too, so I am not so wrong?” We cannot excuse people who break rules (moral or legal ones) because others also break rules. Then why have rules if we start to do this? That would lead to chaos. What rules do you think we should do away with because you know people who break them?

The old adage that our parents often said “If everyone jumped off a bridge would you jump too?” applies in these choices we all have to make.

Life is full of choices and gambles. When we make the wrong choice, we gamble that we might not be caught and might not have to pay the penalty. Just because others made wrong choices too does not mean there is less of a reason to punish the one who was “caught.” When we get old enough to make our own choices, no matter how small they might seem at the time, we begin to form how we lead our lives. Little abuses lead to larger ones. Which is why parents start to train children about little behavioral incidents when they are small, otherwise they would become unruly and unmanageable

Of course I do not think the girl should “suffer,” or not be forgiven.. My comments have nothing to do with the forgiveness I think she is entitled to. Being forgiven is something we can all hope to have, for all of our transgressions. And we should be forgiving of others. But forgiveness does not exclude some form of discipline or paying the consequences. You mentioned Jesus. Naturally I am sure he would have forgiven her, but He also would have wanted her to accept the decision of the school about the ceremony. And for her to have done so in a humble manner, and in recognition that she took a risk and ignored the rules (both moral and those of the Church) to begin with.

I am not hard-hearted and I hope she gets whatever help she needs and goes on to be productive and successful. Life is not easy, and it will be more difficult for her now. If she believes that she can do whatever she wants, every time she wants, and to heck with the rules or morality of the actions, because she knows others who do break rules she will need a whole lot more than forgiveness in her life.

In actuality, this is not about this girl specifically, it is relative to our society in general, and the principle of the bigger issue – that rules and laws must be followed - is at the basis of this. People who feel that they should always get special consideration when they do something wrong and then claim they have “rights,” somehow have lost the understanding that each person, alone, is responsible for his/her own decisions, the consequences those decisions have, and that it is society that has the right to make rules. One’s “right” is to choose to follow them or not.

If she were my daughter I would be very happy that she chose not to abort the baby and did not compound her wrong. However, I would not let her try to excuse her behavior by saying “Everyone else does it,” or “Why isn’t the father punished?” or, especially I would not allow her to disturb a ceremony because she feels she has the right to do so. She already made one bad decision in choosing to engage in sex; it should not be coupled with more bad decisions that infringe on the rights of others, or break more rules. That is a right this girl does not have!

[L.N. Smithee]

Must be hard to read the computer screen with your head so far up your ass.

Uh huh. Getting off to a good start. Go on, keep digging.

Thinking someone has the right to participate in a graduation at a school they pay to go to makes me a leftist?...It's morons like you who simply call everyone with a different view a leftist who need to get out in the world a little and see the horrors of true leftist thinking, not just using the word in your foolish way.

I didn't say it made you a leftist. I wrote, "Noooo, that's not classic leftist thought, is it?" Big diff. Leftists champion outcome-based education, pass/fail rather than A through F grades, social promotion, bilingual education, and other concepts that dilute the quality of education and erode the value of a diploma. Saying that a student at a Catholic school shouldn't suffer consequences after violating the school's moral code fits very nicely along with the others I have cited.

L.N. Smithee:"Oh, brother. I suppose you wouldn't fire any pregnant nuns if you were running the school, either? After all, they just sinned, and we're all sinners, and we don't want to encourage abortion, yada, yada, yada...

Darkwolf:Possibly the most idiotic thing ever posted in a thread on this site. Good going! And you manage to completely dodge the point, too!

Really. Well, let's examine your statement, and mine it for "points."

---

"As I wrote before, if everyone there who's a sinner couldn't attend there'd be no ceremony. She's just an easier target for the high-and-mighty--who of course are NOT sinners, oh no, they're all perfect!--to get on their high horse."

---

Sorry, I don't see a "point" that I "dodged" -- I see a rant that doesn't have any basis in fact or relevance to the situation.

For all you know, there were others in that same graduating class whose misconduct resulted in their exclusion from the ceremony. And there is no indication that this was some flight-of-fancy from the school's administration, even according to the slanted article:

---

"Cosby, whose name was not listed on the graduation program, was told in March that she could no longer attend school because of what were described as safety concerns. School officials told her to complete her class work at home.

School policy states that the administration can decide if a student needs to be homeschooled based on medical safety, physiological well-being and social issues.

---

I see, you're another of those bluenoses who loves to bitch about any sex-related situation.

Is calling me a "bluenose" worse than calling you a "liberal?"

Here's what I am "bitching" about regarding this case and the case of the Sacto bimbo: They know darn well what the Bible and their own churches have to say regarding premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality, and issues that surround those topics, but when they are caught violating those principles, they act as if they shouldn't have to suffer circumstances because a secular and increasingly atheistic society says they should be given a pass. That's why they run to the MSM for aid and comfort. For example, Ms. Cosby's mother, who incredibly said, "I can't believe something like this is happening in 2005. I feel like we have regressed instead of progressed," as if "progress" would be saying there is no shame in being an unmarried pregnant teenager in a religious setting.

I don't think I need to tell you which end of the ideological spectrum calls itself "progressive," do I?

What an insensitive ass. Jesus would love your attitude, sure.

What?? I wrote "preggo." It's hardly calling down fire to consume her. Cool your jets.

Now go back to your perfect sinless world, where only sinless people live. God help us from your "I'm perfect!" bulls###.

Sigh...and the old reliable canard returns once again.

Here's what I honest-to-God don't understand about people like you: Why is it that you presume people that think there ought to be common standards of behavior and decency we should all live by believe we are "perfect?" To the contrary! We are very aware of our sinfulness, and don't wish to stumble others by making huge, uncorrectable errors (such as fathering or bearing a child out-of-wedlock) and pretending that if we gather enough people around us who don't care about our sins, it doesn't matter to God.

Heaven knows I am not perfect. And anyone who says s/he is is a liar. But that doesn't mean that perfection shouldn't continually remain the goal we all reach for, even with the knowledge that we will fail. So when people enter a holy institution and, in effect, shout, "I should not be penalized for flaunting God's laws!" they need to be put in their place for the good of the congregation. Read the letters of the apostle Paul and judgments of the congregations in Revelation.

[latina4dubya]

So she defied the tenents of a catholic education and got to go up on the stage...good for her! She could have defied her church and gotten an abortion, then gotten the diploma, and no one would have known the difference.

true--and i would agree except that her "in-your-face" actions take away from her doing the right thing... why can't it be enough to know that one is doing the right thing? why is it today that people are so, "look at me--this is my right... i have the right to do this!" there are no social graces, no humility... i'm sure she'll have the big wedding in a big white wedding dress with her big belly sticking out... afterall, it is 2005...

[L.N. Smithee]

I suspect that the majority of the poster who think the school was in the wrong comes from the fact that the father of the child, though he clearly violated the schools rules, was not held to the rules as the mother was. Its the hypocricy that is upseting.

IMHO, the sperm donor doesn't have any more right to walk across the stage than she does. But I will reserve judgment on that until there is a report that actually addresses whether or not it's true.

As it stands, the AP story is slanted severely on the side of the Cosby family. Re-read it; while there are references to school policy, there is not one quote from a school official.

[lodwick]

If only he'd kept it in his hand...

[Darkwolf]

"I didn't say it made you a leftist. I wrote, "Noooo, that's not classic leftist thought, is it?" Big diff. "

LOL--wow, you're already running away from your own pose. Oh, you never tried to suggest I was a leftist, you just said I talked like one. You are so full of it your rambling psychotic post isn't worth reading anymore.

That you castigated me for "buying" into this story, and your loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong postings about it, show you have the mental capacity of a thimble. Look at how you go on and on with this obsession with the pregnant girl.

Get a life, or at least some help.

[ApplegateRanch]

The "father" (sperm donor) is a separate issue, but I agree that part is not fair.

On the bright side, at least she wasn't stoned, while he got some lashes, like a certain other unmentioned "faith" hands out for this...assuming they would have allowed co-ed classes in the first place.

[L.N. Smithee]

LOL--wow, you're already running away from your own pose.

I'm not running away from anything. I said what I meant, and I meant what I said.

Oh, you never tried to suggest I was a leftist, you just said I talked like one.

That's exactly right. Do you think Jesus meant Peter was the Devil when he called him "Satan"?

That you castigated me for "buying" into this story, and your loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong postings about it, show you have the mental capacity of a thimble.

Au contraire! If I had such little mental capacity, I would be posting shorter messages peppered with insults.

[ApplegateRanch]

See #112.

He'll "get his" after the baby is born, and he is proven to be the "father", and he is, rightfully, hit with 18 years of support payments.

Also, fair or not, the current theory is that a 'woman' has control of her body, and if she says, "no," then the male is obligated to stop. This places the de facto control and responsibilty stricly in her court.

[Nowhere Man]

I see you points, it is a Solomon like decision. Of course we cannot get into the young lady's mind, but I do believe in redemption after one makes mistakes by correcting them and/or doing the best not to do it again. As you put it, she could have aborted the baby instead of carrying it to full term which is the case here. Her intent to graduate hopefully shows that she wants to make something of herself and/or do the right thing. As to the students cheering, I hope it is because she wants to over come the mistake she has gotten herself into and not glorifying single motherhood. I think stigmatizing this young lady and her future child is wrong as long, again, if she realized she made a mistake in poor judgement and wants to do the right thing even if she needs a little helping hand up. On the other hand, (I think we need an octopus here B-)), if she keeps on making the same mistake over and over again, well he should get the message that she is doing wrong.

So, yes, we do have a condundrum here but from what I could tell, she seems to want to do the right thing and own up to her mistake so I would let her graduate. Unless I get morei nfo, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt here.

[cherry]

yes, we can be quick to condemn young pregnant teenagers, but at least they carried their child....

I know of a recent incident where a young girl became pregnant, carried the child, then rightfully and courageously gave the baby up for adoption, only to have profound complications weeks lately that left her unable to bear anymore children...ever....she is a teenager....

[Cicero]

A sad story. But the odds were probably just as great that she would have had complications from an abortion. It would be sadder if she had aborted the child and could have no more, which is not uncommon.

[Nowhere Man]

And, of course, we have the parent coming to the rescue, blaming everyone but the child and herself. Notice there was no mention of any man in the family picture. The girl, her mother, and the aunt. The cycle continues...

Although I do believe in treating this case with compassion, you brought up a point that I was thinking too although it was after my post. I'd like to know where the father is and if he is willing to own up the the responsibilty of the child and to marry the young lady. I know in my family, my aunt adopted a child when she was around 18 months to 2 years old, now she is grown up. A few years ago, she had a baby out of wedlock and the father wanted to marry her but she refused. It's really sad and hard on the kids and everyone else.

[Guenevere]

I think you're referring to that time in our nation when we had a certain decorum...and sense of shame.

I too am glad she didn't abort her baby....

..but I understand and agree with those at the school who hoped for a bit of tradition and decorum for the highschool graduation.

Just because she did the 'right thing' on one account...

..doesn't mean she has the 'right' to break rules with her 'in your face' attitude.

I guess there are many here who just don't get this.

....Has our country lost its moral compass so much that a sense of moral decency and decorum are hard to understand ?????

[Guenevere]

Look buddy, you've been here less than a month, and I suggest you go back and read FR's RULES about posting!

If you can't hack civil discourse withourt resorting to name calling & vulgar words.....

...you might not be on the right forum!

We are trying very hard at this site to converse, inform, opine, even disagree....but in a civil tone.

You don't have to agree with the person, but you should cool your jets and count to 10 before you start posting.