Part of the reason (not all, mind you)I ended up homeschooling was because I had a Sunday School teacher say my son seemed ADHD many times, because of how he acted at age 4. I didn't want to have to deal with any similar things in the public school. (btw, my nephew truly is ADD. he would act like my son when he was on actually on his medication.) At 11 my son is very calm. I love his reaction to his little brothers' mischevious ways. I just smile and say, "You were worse."
I love that! I've told my son the same thing. (I'm sorry I didn't try harder to homeschool. long story) I also teach a Rel. Ed. class to 2nd graders. I've seen it soooo many times. You can almost always tell the truly ADHD from the ones who, well, you just know there aren't really many rules or much attention for some of them at home. One boy comes to mind from a yr or 2 ago. 'S' is quiet and shy and very bright. He would look as though he wasn't paying attention, yet he knew all the answers, knew exactly where we were in the book, always had his homework, rarely misbehaved, and helped everyone around him stay on target. His grandmother explained that he was never allowed to use the ADHD as an excuse. He was truly a gem. I remember my 2nd yr of volunteering, I had a group of mostly boys again and was flabbergasted about how they could wiggle so much (and I have a son!) and fall out of their chairs. Then I read a truly eye-opening study (looking for link) about how this kind of movement is normal and many kids, esp boys, need to use this. I lightened up on my 'policing' of such behavior, it dropped off by more than half and general behavior and work improved dramatically. 'My' kids know just what behavior is acceptable (I took a cue from the new school principal) and what isn't. Fidgeting and wiggling is no longer even on my radar. And then every year without fail there are always one or 2 kids who, already at age 7, have learned to use their ADHD as an excuse for everything from missed work to bad behavior to (attempting to) bother other kids from their work. They learn quickly it no longer works on me...