Posted on 05/10/2005 7:11:28 AM PDT by dead
A FEMALE university security guard who decided to defecate in a bushy area because toilets were too far, got more than she had bargained for when she was bitten by a snake on her buttocks.
The 29-year-old woman who is employed by a private security company contracted to the National University of Science and Technology in Bulawayo gave out a scream when the snake struck her bottom, alerting her colleagues who rushed to her aid.
A university spokesman said the woman who declines to be named was to blame, charging: "She knows where the toilets are."
According to the Bulawayo Chronicle, the woman chose to relieve herself in the bush because there were no toilets near the main entrance where she was manning the gate.
Recounting her ordeal, she said: "I felt a painful sting and I ran screaming for help towards my colleagues. However, that is all I can remember because when I woke up I found myself in a hospital bed."
Other guards who came to her aid say they saw a snake escaping into the thick bush on an adjacent piece of land to the university and immediately summoned for an ambulence. She was admitted for two nights at the nearby United Bulawayo Hospitals.
Another guard told the Chronicle: “The situation is really pathetic as we are exposed to danger because we are forced to use the bush as a toilet. We have tried to ask the university to build some toilets for us on several occasions, but up to now they have not done anything about it."
Felix Moyo, the university's director of public relations had no sympathy for the guard.
“I heard that there was a female security guard who was bitten by a snake, but I am not sure what she was doing at the time. However, if she was relieving her self in the bushes then that is not the university’s fault as they know where the nearest toilets are if they need to relieve themselves,” he said.
Lack of proper facilities can really be a pain in the butt, evidently...
I don't want to touch that ;~D
A young girl who lived in Djibouti
Thought the bush was a good place for poopie
She squatted right down
And said with a frown
Hey, a snake just bit me on the ass!
I think it needs work....
My husband was out in the barn when I first read this........it struck me particularly funny because hubby was hunting down some snakes who have taken up residence in the rafters :)
She's just lucky she didn't get cauterized!
You are soooooooooooooooo BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD......that's funny :)
but failed to see the snake.
The snake bit her cheek,
now a doctor she should seek.
But the snake just slithered away.
Yes, saw a guy last month on Hollywood Boulevard walk up to a trash can across the street from the Chinese Theatre, unzip his pants, and relieve himself on the sidewalk. Unbelievable!
Another true story.
One of my sons came home earlier than usual from a weekend at the lake with friends. He kind of limped in and called me into the bedroom right away.
He immediately (and very wild-eyed) dropped his pants and his skivvies to reveal a pair of testicles the size of saddle bags.
He being (just slightly) the wildest of my three boys, my first thought was along the lines of a new and terrible STD.
I called a urologist and he said he'd meet us right away at the emergency room. The Doc told him to drop his drawers and my boy hesitated saying, "Doc, you've probably never seen anything like this!" To which I said, "go ahead son, he's seen everything."
Well, long story a little shorter, he was diagnosed as having gotten into some poison ivy while answering nature's call. Fluid collected in the testicles and since there is more loose skin there than anyplace else on the body, we had, "voila", saddle bags.
Along the same lines, I have seen "Boudreaux's Butt Paste" in the local Walgreens. And yup, it's made in Louisiana for a Dr. Boudreaux. :o)
Something to watch while bored at a stop light? Van Nuys Boulevard was good for that some years ago on Friday nights. I avoid both areas and go west where there are nice clean people.
Discuss.
For your enjoyment....
Semper Fi
I'm sure your intent was to be derogatory, as that seems to be the order of the day toward Mexicans and illegals.
Lighten up Francis.
I'd like to know "how far". Was it a hundred yards away or a mile?
I have no problem with being derogatory to the invader from the south, BTW, but would not do it to mexicans who don't try to cross the border illegally.
I work with a few legal mexicans and think highly of them. It's not a race thing.
Don't try to make an issue where one doesn't exist.
When the turtle is poking out of the shell, any distance is too far.
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