Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

'Thanks for not shooting my son'
HoustonChronicle.com ^ | May 7, 2005, 11:18PM | RICK CASEY

Posted on 05/08/2005 5:48:09 AM PDT by rw4site

May 7, 2005, 11:18PM

'Thanks for not shooting my son'

By RICK CASEY
Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle

After hearing from Rambo wannabes that I should have blown away the tattooed, drug-addled man who crashed into my house at 11 o'clock one night in February, the e-mail from Syble Asaf was arresting.

It's not every day a mother thanks you for not shooting her son.

"I was reading an article Wednesday evening and realized it is my son you were writing about," she wrote. "I am very sorry for what he did to your family. As equally I am grateful you did not shoot him."

Police records mistakenly listed him as José Calzada, a name that led some readers to jump to conclusions.

I hope they deport him, wrote one.

I had, after wrestling him out of my house, no desire to meet Calzada. I'm not Pope John Paul II, who befriended his would-be assassin.

But I couldn't resist the urge to meet his mother, the author of the warm and intriguing e-mail.

His name is Joe, not José, Mrs. Asaf told me.

Straight A's and Scouts

"He's Joey to us," said the trim blonde who manages a group of medical clinics, including the one in The Woodlands where we met. Her daughter, Heather, 20, who works at the clinic, sat in as well. She also has a 16-year-old son in high school who has never caused problems.

Not only are both his parents native-born citizens, but Calzada, 26, grew up in the pleasant suburbs of The Woodlands and Spring and went to the good schools of Klein Independent School District.

"We're middle-class white American people trying to make it in the world," said Mrs. Asaf.

Joe's dad, who had a problem with the bottle, according to her, left when Joey was 1 year old. A couple of years later, she married her current husband, who is retired after years of owning and running an Exxon station.

Joey was, said his mother, a straight-A student through fifth grade. He played Little League and was in the Boy Scouts.

Then, with puberty, came anger and rebellion. At 11, he started disappearing for a week at a time. By 13, his parents padlocked their bedroom door to keep him from stealing for drugs. His stepfather sold his hunting shotguns.

At 14, he shaved his scalp and joined a white-supremacist skinhead group.

"He was always small, and believed he had to be seen as tough and scary to make up for it," Mrs. Asaf said.

When one of the bigger skinheads came to her house looking for red suspenders (a gang symbol) he had loaned Joey, Mrs. Asaf retrieved the suspenders, and told the skinhead her son didn't belong in their gang.

"I told him Joey's part Hispanic," she said. "Joey got angry. They wouldn't let him in after that."

Turning point in life

The years between 11 and 15, when Joey left for a permanent life on the streets, were a blur of alternative school, counseling, Ritalin and stays in psychiatric hospitals.

"They'd keep him for 30 days until the insurance ran out and then say he was cured," she said. "It was a revolving door."

But Asaf lays little blame. She describes his teachers and some of his psychiatric professionals as being wonderful.

She worries that she herself didn't do enough, but she doesn't know what she could have done differently.

Then she pushes across the table a copy of the Houston Chronicle's defunct Texas Magazine.

In a "small world" thunderclap, there's the guy who broke into my house, on the magazine cover with his wife, Jennifer. The story, published five years ago, is headlined: "After drifting in a haze of drugs, violence and homelessness on Houston's streets, Joe and Jennifer may have found A Way Out."

Following his story

It was a long, gripping story by Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje with photographs by Andrew Innerarity that were sometimes hard to look at. Writer and photographer took you with Joe and Jennifer through months of drug highs and lows, bruising fights with each other, tender apologies, encounters with a wide array of heroic social service and medical agencies that tried to help them.

And romance so mindlessly desperate that Jennifer knew Joey was HIV-positive, and had unprotected sex with him in hopes both of becoming pregnant and contracting HIV herself so she could die and be with him.

He had been HIV-positive since he was 16. His mom found out by being the one who gave him the test.

A hard survival

I called Melissa, who is now at the San Antonio Express-News, where we became friends. She was amazed Joe was still alive.

Jennifer left him while he was in prison in 2003. Afterwards he hooked up with and impregnated a woman. A middle-aged couple adopted the baby boy.

Miraculously, neither of the two women nor the baby became HIV-positive.

He calls his mother and sister occasionally. A talented artist, he's making money sketching tattoos (including those that cover his body) under the sponsorship of some friends in the Fifth Ward.

"Joey has a guardian angel," said his mother.

Still, she believes the only way he will survive, if not be happy, is in prison.

You can write to Rick Casey at P.O. Box 4260, Houston, TX 77210, or e-mail him at rick.casey@chron.com.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Miscellaneous; US: Texas
KEYWORDS: arentisomething; awwwwwwww; bang; banglist; donutwatch; feelthelove; grouphug; junklove; kumbahya; lived2tellthetale; luckytobealive
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 last
To: rw4site
MR(S)RICK CASEY
61 posted on 05/08/2005 7:54:46 AM PDT by freepatriot32 (If you want to change government support the libertarian party www.lp.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Krankor
Are you saying he should be shot dead simply because there are other offenders out there who are violent?

I see others have kind of filled in the blank spots I left in my reply.

I'll rephrase your question into my own words: "Are you saying he should be shot dead simply because he's in my house, uninvited, in the middle of the night, and apparently in a drug induced haze?" YES!!! We'll figure out the rest after the funeral.

The homeowner doesn't have an obligation to kill him, but as a general rule he would be doing society a favor by pulling the trigger. If I had the money, I would establish some sort of award for those howmowners who kill intruders, thereby making the rest of us safer.

62 posted on 05/08/2005 8:07:44 AM PDT by Balding_Eagle (God has blessed Republicans with really stupid enemies.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: OXENinFLA

Here's a prediction to remember: within ten years, new technology will show that common viruses and other pathogens have a major role in causing brain lesions that trigger behavioral and character problems, including criminality. When that happens, there will be a radical rethinking of criminal law and sentencing -- but we will still have to lock up criminals and use force against them because, even if their conduct is seen as a disease, we still have to protect ourselves against them. Sympathy and moral condemnation of criminals is relevant to the political psychology of criminal justice but irrelevant to policy choices and personal defense decisions.


63 posted on 05/08/2005 8:09:48 AM PDT by Rockingham
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]

To: norton

Thanks =-)


64 posted on 05/08/2005 8:32:45 AM PDT by Dr.Zoidberg (This tagline brought to you by Islam. Islam, only the best of the 12th century for you and yours.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 60 | View Replies]

To: Krankor
Again, I was referring to this post. The poster is speaking "after the fact". He is proposing that non-violent criminals should be executed simply because they may someday turn violent.

Nope, wrong. He was not proposing anyone should be executed. He was proposing that people who commit the violent crime of breaking into a house uninvited should not be given the benefit of the doubt. They should be assumed to be dangerous, armed or not and if they refuse to comply with a request to halt and/or surrender to the home owner then the home owner has the right to kill them if he feels his life is in danger.

If you break into someone's home you are NOT non violent but very violent indeed and if you end up dead you have no one but yourself to blame.

65 posted on 05/08/2005 8:54:55 AM PDT by calex59
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: rw4site
"We're middle-class white American people trying to make it in the world," said Mrs. Asaf.

"I told him Joey's part Hispanic," she said. "Joey got angry. They wouldn't let him in after that."

Well, which is it?
66 posted on 05/08/2005 8:57:04 AM PDT by Xenalyte (I am at Dr. Venture's lab to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain of time itself)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sgtbono2002

"I dont even want to get into what they do on their breasts and other private parts."

Oh please do! :-)


67 posted on 05/08/2005 9:11:48 AM PDT by cpdiii (Oil Field Trash, Roughneck, Geologist, Pilot, Pharmacist, (OIL FIELD TRASH was fun))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: OXENinFLA
He didn't appear armed. I decided to act out of my anger, not out of my fear.

"Who are you and what are you doing in here?" I yelled. Then I called to my wife: "Kristen! Get the gun and call the police!"

I was grateful she didn't yell back: "What gun?"

Of course, now everyone knows you are defenseless. What is your address, again? I imagine it can be found on the police report.

68 posted on 05/08/2005 9:18:22 AM PDT by gitmo (Thanks, Mel. I needed that.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Krankor
Apparently, the young man has not been involved in any violent crime. Are you saying he should be shot dead simply because there are other offenders out there who are violent?

What do you mean "not involved in any violent crime?".

The perp just violently broke through the reporter's front door. Then he left a trail of HIV infected blood inside the house.

While his mother may be grateful that the homeowner did not shoot him, the homeowner has dodged his responsibilities to the rest of us...

69 posted on 05/08/2005 9:24:08 AM PDT by CurlyDave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: rw4site

Minor delay in the process.


70 posted on 05/08/2005 9:33:29 AM PDT by Old Professer (As darkness is the absence of light, evil is the absence of good; innocence is blind.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Krankor

The "How cruel you are..." was a bit tongue in cheek... Truthful, but tongue in cheek... Also, the poster is absolutely correct. If this guy is in YOUR home, coming up YOUR steps with the possible intent to harm YOUR family, then you have every reason to empty YOUR gun into him, call the police on YOUR phone and clean up afterwards with YOUR mop.... Then go to sleep in YOUR bed, nite nite....

With that scenario there is no "after the fact".... Not to bring up your tremendous longevity on this forum, but with a whole 1 DAY, you seem to want to get a rise out of the people here. If that is not your intent, my apologies for infering it... If it is, enjoy your short visit...


71 posted on 05/08/2005 9:34:24 AM PDT by Hand em their arse
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: Hand em their arse
I just don't believe that criminals who may one day become violent should be executed. I didn't think this would get a rise out of people. I apologize for this being my first day. Should I have waited a month after registering to post?
72 posted on 05/08/2005 9:52:28 AM PDT by Krankor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 71 | View Replies]

To: rw4site

The punk is lucky. Many Texans would have put his lights out forever.


73 posted on 05/08/2005 9:55:35 AM PDT by LibKill (Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Krankor

"Should I have waited a month after registering to post?"


Well, standard procedure is 6 months, but we'll let it go....... just kidding : ) I guess my point is, how do you know? How do you know that when standing there, eye to eye with this guy, he won't get violent? I agree with you that if someone who is NOW in prison on let's say, robbery is about to be released after serving their time... should they bbe xecuted? Of course not, but who the hell knows at that exact time, when this reporter is facing this intruder at the bottom of his stairs, that he won't be violent?

That's my point...



74 posted on 05/08/2005 9:59:13 AM PDT by Hand em their arse
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]

To: cpdiii

Ok: Just for you. How about having hot and cold tattooed over the nipple. Or maybe "Property of Jake tattooed over the vagina. How about rings thru the vulva and nipples, or thru the penis. Sex organs arent made for costume jewelry.

Remember "You asked for it"


75 posted on 05/08/2005 12:13:15 PM PDT by sgtbono2002
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 67 | View Replies]

To: OXENinFLA

I can't believe she wanted to do that to her child! (Actually I can, since so many parents seem intent on hurting their kids in all sorts of ways.)


76 posted on 05/08/2005 12:15:01 PM PDT by LPStar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Balding_Eagle; Krankor
The homeowner doesn't have an obligation to kill him, but as a general rule he would be doing society a favor by pulling the trigger.

Not to mention that if the homeowner only wounds the perp. he's guaranteed to be put through YEARS of lawsuits by the perp., now the "victim", because he was shot.

It's much easier if the cops only have one side of the story when they write up their report.

Two to the chest, one to the head. (And packing +P hollow points might be a good idea too.)

77 posted on 05/08/2005 4:15:16 PM PDT by OXENinFLA ("And that [Atomic] bomb is a filibuster" ~~~ Sen. Lieberman 1-4-95)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: Krankor

There's no "may" about it. He already became violent when he broke down the homeowner's door.


78 posted on 05/08/2005 4:26:03 PM PDT by Pete98 (After his defeat by the Son of God, Satan changed his name to Allah and started over.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 72 | View Replies]

To: rw4site; Dog Gone

Rick Casey is a political writer(often of fiction) for the Houston Chronicle. Aka their Robert Fisk.

And don't expect such forgiveness from him if Tom DeLay sneezes, so forget about the "Thanks for not shooting my rep" letters.


79 posted on 05/08/2005 4:42:48 PM PDT by Diddle E. Squat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Diddle E. Squat
I read his column, or at least most of it, in this morning's print edition. My tolerance for gagging early on a Sunday morning is limited.

His writing is neither clever nor insightful, even given allowances for his bleeding heart liberal focus on life. His only saving grace is that he isn't terribly abrasive.

80 posted on 05/08/2005 4:49:28 PM PDT by Dog Gone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 79 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson