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Why I'm not a 'South Park Conservative', by Michelle Malkin
Townhall.com ^ | May 4, 2005 | Michelle Malkin

Posted on 05/04/2005 5:59:04 AM PDT by OESY

I'll get to First Lady Laura Bush's bawdy stand-up routine in a minute. But I want to highlight a related new book out about how young conservatives are shaking up the dominant liberal media culture. It's called "South Park Conservatives." My name is listed on the cover along with many other (mostly) right-leaning pundits, websites, and bloggers, but I must confess to having mixed feelings about the honor.

The best-selling book's author, Brian C. Anderson of the Manhattan Institute, writes a fun, breezy survey documenting the rise of talk radio, FOX News, the Internet, conservative publishing, and college Republican activism. Anderson's chapter on the success of conservative talk radio and the abysmal failure of liberal Air America to replicate it is incisive. Another chapter on the blogosphere (alone worth the price of the book) gives readers a useful history of the explosion of news, opinion, and political websites that have smashed the left-wing media monopoly.

But how did such a wide-ranging list of individuals and organizations -- Anderson's book cover includes the names of conservative-leaning Internet pioneer Matt Drudge and center-left journalist Mickey Kaus, the libertarian Tech Central Station, the culturally conservative WorldNetDaily, political upstart Arnold Schwarzenegger and political chameleon Andrew Sullivan, plus Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and myself, along with a feature blurb from Jonah Goldberg -- all get lumped under the umbrella term "South Park Conservatives"?

Anderson argues that Comedy Central's cartoon series "South Park" embodies the "fiercely anti-liberal comedic spirit" of the "new media" from Kaus to Coulter. The cartoon, he writes, reflects a "post-liberal counterculture" that is "particularly appealing to the young, however much it might offend older conservatives."

Well, I'm 34 and no fan of "South Park." I have many good friends who are indeed huge boosters of the show, but I find that the characters' foul language overwhelms any entertainment I might otherwise derive from the show's occasional, right-leaning iconoclastic themes.

"South Park" may be "politically incorrect." But "politically incorrect" is not always a synonym for "conservative."

My discomfort with "South Park's" increasingly mainstream vulgarity is not a matter of nitpicking. We're not just talking about a stray curse word here or there. As liberal New York Times columnist Frank Rich points out, "South Park" "holds the record for the largest number of bleeped-out repetitions (162) of a single four-letter expletive in a single television half-hour." That's probably about the same number of profanities uttered at John Kerry's infamous New York City celebrity fundraiser last summer, which Republicans rightly condemned for its excessive obscenities.

Rich is wrong about most things, but he's painfully on target in noting the incongruous pandering now taking place by some in the cool-kids clique on the Right. Conservatives criticize Hollywood relentlessly, but as Rich notes, "the embarrassing reality is that they want to be hip, too."

Which brings me to Mrs. Bush. She demonstrated at the celebrity-studded White House Correspondents' Dinner this weekend that you can entertain without being profane. Most of her humor was just right: Edgy but not over the edge. But her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: If Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity.

The First Lady resorting to horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. It was wholly unnecessary.

Self-censorship is a conservative value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale College last year, Heritage Foundation president Ed Feulner called on his audience to resist the coarsened rhetoric of our time: "If we are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a necessity."

Lighten up, you say? No thanks. I'd rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my kids giggle than a "South Park"/"Desperate Housewives" conservative whose goal is getting Richard Gere and Jane Fonda to snicker. Giving the Hollyweird Left the last laugh is not my idea of success.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 1anationaldisgrace; 1classymichelle; 1henpeckedgwb; 1laurawhitetrash; 1malkinrocks; 1pickalittle; 1pottymouthlaura; 2peckalittle; 3cheepcheepcheep; 4peckalot; 5pickalittlemore; briananderson; churchladies; comedycentral; conservatives; coulditbesatan; coulterwannabe; hititpearl; isntthatspecial; itsafrickinjoke; iwannabeann; laurabush; lauraisatexan; lightenupalready; malkin; malkinstoptalkin; michellemalkin; nags; needssenseofhumor; pukimomolokai; puritanicalchic; shutupandhousewife; soboring; southpark; stickwithimmigration; stomoralizing; thisisgettingold; turass; uptight
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To: Howlin
I doubt they did.

Doesn't matter. The point is that if the country is destroyed because the first lady told a joke that has been told 48 million times then it was pretty weak country.

BTW it was not destroyed when the first lady was a bigamist or a loon or had a cheating spouse. Or even cheated on her spouse.

I reckon it will survive this.

861 posted on 05/04/2005 5:13:02 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit)
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To: restornu
You would have hated Ben Franklin.

And Washington and Jefferson and all the rest but especially you would have hated Franklin.

I repeat that no one can live up to your standards.

862 posted on 05/04/2005 5:15:30 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit)
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To: HairOfTheDog; najida; shhrubbery!
Would it be different for you if the same jokes were made in the same room at the same event by a paid comedian, where the first lady's role would have been to simply laugh and blush?

I'd really like to know why it's different.

It's a union thing

863 posted on 05/04/2005 5:16:41 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy (Thank your God if your society celebrates tolerance at the expense of moral correctness)
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To: wardaddy
Michelle honey I love and admire you dear but we need to pick our battles.

I'd rather stick to immigration....something which you have been splendid about.

Actually, I think she was very specific in choosing this battle. Being a one trick pony on the pundit circuit means you get less air time with networks and radio shows, so you can't plug a book or anything else that could make dough for you. I think, she is looking towards being considered a more social conservative pundit to network bookers as opposed to just the immigration shtick. In the end, it's all about the bottom line, and just b/c you see someone on tv from time to time doesn't mean they're raking in a bundle of cheese.

864 posted on 05/04/2005 5:20:45 PM PDT by paltz (New York is a blue city talking for an overwhelmingy Red State)
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To: woofie

But was does the "Year Two of Middle School Instructions on the Teaching of Match and Sciences" have to do with Michelle Malkin?


865 posted on 05/04/2005 5:20:54 PM PDT by AmericanInTokyo (**AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT IS NOT SO MUCH "WHO" WE STAND FOR, BUT RATHER "WHAT" WE STAND FOR**)
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To: OESY

The correct term is "South Park Republican". "South Park Conservative" is an oxymoron.


866 posted on 05/04/2005 5:25:09 PM PDT by Zero Sum
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To: NCLaw441; onyx
I wonder what they are saying about this over at Free Republic..... oh yeah... this IS Free Republic..... or is it??

Didn't you get the memo? It's now Moral Nation

867 posted on 05/04/2005 5:34:57 PM PDT by Oztrich Boy (We shall yet make these United Sates a moral nation -= The Rev.. Elmer Gantry)
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To: Zero Sum

South Park Conservative is the name of a book MM was referring to in her column by Brian Anderson.


868 posted on 05/04/2005 5:54:23 PM PDT by paltz (New York is a blue city talking for an overwhelmingy Red State)
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To: paltz

Yes, and I am saying that Anderson turned the title into an oxymoron.


869 posted on 05/04/2005 5:58:35 PM PDT by Zero Sum ("Speak softly and carry a big stick." -TR)
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To: Skooz

Good point. Michelle is a proper lady from a certain upbringing. She's not dividing anybody. I understand her reaction, although I thought the jokes were fine. (Love your tagline.)


870 posted on 05/04/2005 5:59:18 PM PDT by firebrand
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To: mhking

And according to the author, South Park Conservatives are all the "new" conservatives or the "newly wired in" by talk radio, the Internet, Fox News, the new conservative book imprints, the upsurge in conservatism on campuses, etc.--the ones who are experiencing a kind of coming together after feeling isolated for so long. I think he mentions Free Republic in the book.


871 posted on 05/04/2005 6:06:00 PM PDT by firebrand
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Your strawman is not working here!

This has nothing to with perfect....it has to do with "Doing The Right Things!" and in this setting everything was scripted and decided ahead of time!


872 posted on 05/04/2005 6:07:31 PM PDT by restornu (The lives of our people must become the most meaningful expression of our faith Gordon B. Hinckley)
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To: paltz

Possibly.


873 posted on 05/04/2005 6:10:35 PM PDT by wardaddy ( Lucchese Belt Raised)
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To: Oztrich Boy

Missed that memo. Thanks.
If this continues thru the weekend, then what will FR have become?


874 posted on 05/04/2005 6:15:10 PM PDT by onyx (Pope John Paul II - May 18, 1920 - April 2, 2005 = SANTO SUBITO!)
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To: RushCrush

That is a load of horse milk.

That is the funny of this joke. It is a crude, as we in the industry call it, "d*ck" joke. The problem in telling them, which I have, is that if you feel they are wrong, which I do, is that once you tell them, you can't take them back. Plus, you get called on them.

I shared my witness on a comedian website, and the first thing that happened was one of the comedians replied, "I bet God is real proud of His child teliing d*ck jokes."

It isn't a matter of being humorless. It is a matter of standing up and calling out the wrongs in society.

The right was angered and called the NAGs when Kennedy and Clinton were found to be womanizers, they said nothing and commented how they did so much for the women's movement.

Well, even though Laura generally is a clean cut person, when she errs, she needs to be called on it.

We are told to be watchmen on the wall, and to warn each other when we err, or we are just as guilty. Those who are conservatives but not Christian see nothing wrong with the jokes told. Those of us who are both are not calling her out as a conservative, but as fellow Christians.


875 posted on 05/04/2005 6:16:20 PM PDT by Sensei Ern (Christian, Comedian, Husband,Opa, Dog Owner, former Cat Co-dweller, and all around good guy.)
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To: BigSkyFreeper


ROTFLOL! THAT'S FUNNY!


876 posted on 05/04/2005 6:19:38 PM PDT by onyx (Pope John Paul II - May 18, 1920 - April 2, 2005 = SANTO SUBITO!)
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To: restornu
Sure it does. You expect them to be perfect. Even though you are not.

We get it bub.

877 posted on 05/04/2005 6:26:46 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (The quiet ones are the ones that change the universe. The loud ones only take the credit)
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To: BigSkyFreeper

It is Ocean Spray but is Light. I got to looking at the sugar content and saw what it was in the regular and bought the OS Cranapple Light. It is really good. I did not think I would like it, but I was wrong.


878 posted on 05/04/2005 6:32:50 PM PDT by MamaB (mom to an angel)
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To: MamaB

It probably wouldn't taste bad. As a matter of fact, some sugar free candy tastes pretty close to the sugarloaded variety.


879 posted on 05/04/2005 6:44:37 PM PDT by BigSkyFreeper (Don't hate me because I'm a player)
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To: onyx
ROTFLOL! THAT'S FUNNY!

:)


880 posted on 05/04/2005 6:45:23 PM PDT by BigSkyFreeper (Don't hate me because I'm a player)
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