Why I'm not a 'South Park Conservative', by Michelle Malkin

Townhall.com ^ | May 4, 2005 | Michelle Malkin

[OESY]

I'll get to First Lady Laura Bush's bawdy stand-up routine in a minute. But I want to highlight a related new book out about how young conservatives are shaking up the dominant liberal media culture. It's called "South Park Conservatives." My name is listed on the cover along with many other (mostly) right-leaning pundits, websites, and bloggers, but I must confess to having mixed feelings about the honor.

The best-selling book's author, Brian C. Anderson of the Manhattan Institute, writes a fun, breezy survey documenting the rise of talk radio, FOX News, the Internet, conservative publishing, and college Republican activism. Anderson's chapter on the success of conservative talk radio and the abysmal failure of liberal Air America to replicate it is incisive. Another chapter on the blogosphere (alone worth the price of the book) gives readers a useful history of the explosion of news, opinion, and political websites that have smashed the left-wing media monopoly.

But how did such a wide-ranging list of individuals and organizations -- Anderson's book cover includes the names of conservative-leaning Internet pioneer Matt Drudge and center-left journalist Mickey Kaus, the libertarian Tech Central Station, the culturally conservative WorldNetDaily, political upstart Arnold Schwarzenegger and political chameleon Andrew Sullivan, plus Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and myself, along with a feature blurb from Jonah Goldberg -- all get lumped under the umbrella term "South Park Conservatives"?

Anderson argues that Comedy Central's cartoon series "South Park" embodies the "fiercely anti-liberal comedic spirit" of the "new media" from Kaus to Coulter. The cartoon, he writes, reflects a "post-liberal counterculture" that is "particularly appealing to the young, however much it might offend older conservatives."

Well, I'm 34 and no fan of "South Park." I have many good friends who are indeed huge boosters of the show, but I find that the characters' foul language overwhelms any entertainment I might otherwise derive from the show's occasional, right-leaning iconoclastic themes.

"South Park" may be "politically incorrect." But "politically incorrect" is not always a synonym for "conservative."

My discomfort with "South Park's" increasingly mainstream vulgarity is not a matter of nitpicking. We're not just talking about a stray curse word here or there. As liberal New York Times columnist Frank Rich points out, "South Park" "holds the record for the largest number of bleeped-out repetitions (162) of a single four-letter expletive in a single television half-hour." That's probably about the same number of profanities uttered at John Kerry's infamous New York City celebrity fundraiser last summer, which Republicans rightly condemned for its excessive obscenities.

Rich is wrong about most things, but he's painfully on target in noting the incongruous pandering now taking place by some in the cool-kids clique on the Right. Conservatives criticize Hollywood relentlessly, but as Rich notes, "the embarrassing reality is that they want to be hip, too."

Which brings me to Mrs. Bush. She demonstrated at the celebrity-studded White House Correspondents' Dinner this weekend that you can entertain without being profane. Most of her humor was just right: Edgy but not over the edge. But her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: If Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity.

The First Lady resorting to horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. It was wholly unnecessary.

Self-censorship is a conservative value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale College last year, Heritage Foundation president Ed Feulner called on his audience to resist the coarsened rhetoric of our time: "If we are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a necessity."

Lighten up, you say? No thanks. I'd rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my kids giggle than a "South Park"/"Desperate Housewives" conservative whose goal is getting Richard Gere and Jane Fonda to snicker. Giving the Hollyweird Left the last laugh is not my idea of success.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

Well, Rove's worry about 2004 was that he felt the Religious Right had stayed home in 2000. But I'd say that Reagan's 1984 reelection was the last time the religious right didn't provide the margin of victory, though they certainly voted for him.

Thing is, the last two elections have been so close that every group that voted for Bush was needed to win. In that light, the GOP is going to have to find a way to keep everyone, if not happy, at least not too upset, over the next 4 years. Not exactly easy.

[dirtboy]

If you are this ignorant you need to bring yourself up to speed. Reread the threads pertaining to the event.

Uh, no. You are the one making this charge. Please show posts where people give indication they are Democrats. Or is a simple difference of opinion on this subject sufficient for you to slur your opponents in such a manner?

[yellowdoghunter]

Thank you for that insight. Very good analysis....hadn't thought about the 1984 election in that way..(I was only 11)...

I had forgotten about Rove saying that in 2000....very interesting comment coming from him.

[Do not dub me shapka broham]

Aww, now I want to take a road trip!

I'm broke though.

:(

[dirtboy]

Thing is, the last two elections have been so close that every group that voted for Bush was needed to win. In that light, the GOP is going to have to find a way to keep everyone, if not happy, at least not too upset, over the next 4 years. Not exactly easy.

Well said yet again. In the end, I don't think too many folks are gonna be so frosted over this episode that they won't vote GOP in 2006 and 2008. I think illegal immigration, and Bush's tin ear towards a large segment of his base on such, is the greatest hazard the GOP faces.

I'm actually looking at Laura's comments in a bit broader context. I remember trying to watch the twins at the 2004 GOP convention and cringing at their humor attempts. Maybe it's just me, but I think the Bush clan doesn't fare well when they try to be cool.

[rdb3]

But Michelle malkin didn't either, or she would have seen that.

I love how people comment on something second or third hand, having never seen the incident in question.

Something along this same line of reasoning made me pay closer attention to Malkin's writings. She had this one screed about Prince's "Cinnamon Girl" video. She said that Prince was glorifying suicide bombers. But if you simply watch the whole video, you would see that the girl in question changed her mind and didn't blow herself up. Therefore, he was not glorifying anything!

After that, I knew that she was just a female Michael Savage. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Publius6961]

There are many non-sensical areas where societal conditioning is arbitrary and even puerile.
Once adults actually get over the "sticks-and-stones" hurdle, South Park is quite entertaining.

My continued irritation is when I'm subjected to "nasty language" without my choice or consent.

[tiamat]

You've got mail!

;-)

[international american]

". Maybe it's just me, but I think the Bush clan doesn't fare well when they try to be cool."

It ain't just you.

[July20]

This site is looking more like the Angry Men Who Want to Keep the Little Woman in Her Place forum

Uh...no, hon. There are plenty of women here who don't like sexual jokes coming form either the President or the First Lady.

I read over the thread from yesterday. You and Howlin spent hours there yesterday and it seems plenty of time here today as well. My question is...where do you find the time?

If you were posting quality stuff, I could understand it. But you and Howlin seem to be obsessed by the potty stuff (more Howlin...you seemed more obsessed by lumping conservatives in with the Taliban).

Hon...you really need to find more constructive things to do than spout your garbage hour after hour. There were a few crude posts about Laura, but you pretend that there are hundreds. I love Laura, but I suspect after this she will stay away from any sexual jokes, no matter how mild they may be. After all, everyone knows the material at the White House Dinner does make it into the MSM every year and little children are listening. Fine, the jokes were not too bad but they could have been better.

99% of the people you are attacking still love Laura...do don't pretend to be a self-righteous defender.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

I don't think this episodes, per se, is going to have any great effect. But it does represent a split in the party, that may be exacerbated by a series of similar brouhahas.

I've only read Laura's comments -- I should go see if I can find somewhere to actually see them.

I did thing the Bush twins bombed at the GOP convention. It wasn't a matter of moral values to me though. I thought it was unfunny material not terribly well-delivered.

[Publius6961]

BTW can anyone explain to me why the horse being male is funnier than it being a female?

At the risk of seeming really gullible, I will answer that:

Female horses can actually be milked. Some infants, in fact, are fed mare's milk sometimes when they have problems digesting regular (cow) milk.

Nothing funny there.

[July20]

Your posts on this thread are great. They are well-reasoned and cool, despite your opponents straying as far from logic as possible. I appreciate that.

[yellowdoghunter]

Thanks for that insight. I agree about the immigration issue...it is definitely a sleeper issue, an issue that will have to be dealt with sooner or later.

I know you don't think the Laura issue will affect voters in the future, I don't either, that is just an issue for us too pass time while on FR :)

[paltz]

Ya'know I'm wondering if Malkin is tired of being thought of as simply an immigration pundit by the networks (read=less face time on nat'l media=less books sold), so she splashes her self out there by writing a piece like this, so she can broaden her political pundit face time as an expert and crusader, so to speak, for other causes=(a variety of books to pitch to her publisher and more face time on the networks)....hmmm.

[Peach]

How I spend my time is none of your darned business. But then you Holier Than Thou types just can't help but butt into everyone's lives.

I think it's jealousy and pettiness on your part, dear. And your agreement with a freeper who has posted some vile comments is insightful.

[July20]

Ah, you're still here, then? Thought so. This seems to be an obsession with you.

No, I am quite the opposite of jealous of you, hon. And petty? Well, I consider harping day after day on the same points petty, myself.

But you just keep spending your time this way, hon. It makes you look real bad, but I don't think you care about that. Tata...and have a good day posting emotional rants.

[Peach]

Oh yes, as I pass by the study I hit refresh and there you are. Still deciding that people calling the First Lady vile names is perfectly acceptable.

Yet another faux Christian. How you out yourselves. You have no idea.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I got my towel!

And if I may take a moment to be serious: I am getting bored with hyphenated conservatives. Neo- theo- paelo- leo- Cartmen- tutu wearing or whatever.

We don't have to agree on everything. Not everything is to everybody's taste. Not everything sits well with everybody's sensibilities. So what?

Sometimes we just need to shut up and let other people be. You didn't like the jokes fine. They were told at an adult dinner and aired after 9:00pm. You liked the jokes? Fine too.

You thought the jokes were so old they had whiskers on them?

:looks around: Maybe that was just me. Way to make me feel old guys!

[tiamat]

Hey, Harmless!

Nice towel!

(See? I said this thread was "Mostly Harmless"!)

You're not aged.

You are "matured".

Like me.

:-)