Why I'm not a 'South Park Conservative', by Michelle Malkin

Townhall.com ^ | May 4, 2005 | Michelle Malkin

[OESY]

I'll get to First Lady Laura Bush's bawdy stand-up routine in a minute. But I want to highlight a related new book out about how young conservatives are shaking up the dominant liberal media culture. It's called "South Park Conservatives." My name is listed on the cover along with many other (mostly) right-leaning pundits, websites, and bloggers, but I must confess to having mixed feelings about the honor.

The best-selling book's author, Brian C. Anderson of the Manhattan Institute, writes a fun, breezy survey documenting the rise of talk radio, FOX News, the Internet, conservative publishing, and college Republican activism. Anderson's chapter on the success of conservative talk radio and the abysmal failure of liberal Air America to replicate it is incisive. Another chapter on the blogosphere (alone worth the price of the book) gives readers a useful history of the explosion of news, opinion, and political websites that have smashed the left-wing media monopoly.

But how did such a wide-ranging list of individuals and organizations -- Anderson's book cover includes the names of conservative-leaning Internet pioneer Matt Drudge and center-left journalist Mickey Kaus, the libertarian Tech Central Station, the culturally conservative WorldNetDaily, political upstart Arnold Schwarzenegger and political chameleon Andrew Sullivan, plus Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, and myself, along with a feature blurb from Jonah Goldberg -- all get lumped under the umbrella term "South Park Conservatives"?

Anderson argues that Comedy Central's cartoon series "South Park" embodies the "fiercely anti-liberal comedic spirit" of the "new media" from Kaus to Coulter. The cartoon, he writes, reflects a "post-liberal counterculture" that is "particularly appealing to the young, however much it might offend older conservatives."

Well, I'm 34 and no fan of "South Park." I have many good friends who are indeed huge boosters of the show, but I find that the characters' foul language overwhelms any entertainment I might otherwise derive from the show's occasional, right-leaning iconoclastic themes.

"South Park" may be "politically incorrect." But "politically incorrect" is not always a synonym for "conservative."

My discomfort with "South Park's" increasingly mainstream vulgarity is not a matter of nitpicking. We're not just talking about a stray curse word here or there. As liberal New York Times columnist Frank Rich points out, "South Park" "holds the record for the largest number of bleeped-out repetitions (162) of a single four-letter expletive in a single television half-hour." That's probably about the same number of profanities uttered at John Kerry's infamous New York City celebrity fundraiser last summer, which Republicans rightly condemned for its excessive obscenities.

Rich is wrong about most things, but he's painfully on target in noting the incongruous pandering now taking place by some in the cool-kids clique on the Right. Conservatives criticize Hollywood relentlessly, but as Rich notes, "the embarrassing reality is that they want to be hip, too."

Which brings me to Mrs. Bush. She demonstrated at the celebrity-studded White House Correspondents' Dinner this weekend that you can entertain without being profane. Most of her humor was just right: Edgy but not over the edge. But her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: If Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity.

The First Lady resorting to horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. It was wholly unnecessary.

Self-censorship is a conservative value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale College last year, Heritage Foundation president Ed Feulner called on his audience to resist the coarsened rhetoric of our time: "If we are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a necessity."

Lighten up, you say? No thanks. I'd rather be a G-rated conservative who can only make my kids giggle than a "South Park"/"Desperate Housewives" conservative whose goal is getting Richard Gere and Jane Fonda to snicker. Giving the Hollyweird Left the last laugh is not my idea of success.

[farmer18th]

No, of course, it wasn't an answer to your question, because your question was childish and off-point. Are you asking Ms. Malkin if she feels superior to Ms. Bush? Is that your answer to anyone who disagrees with you? "You just think you're better than I am and you're not the boss of me!"

Is that your line of thinking?

[Howlin]

I am asking you what makes YOUR trashy talk better than what you have accused Laura of saying.

Get it or avoid it?

[Chunga]

I know nothing about you and I don't think I've ever read anything you've written here.

That being said, I would bet good money that you're either a Democrat or a third-party irrelevant.

[tomkat]

I'm not 'demonizing' you 'farmer', I just think you're a gutless slug.

[Blzbba]

"And on Laura Bush's blue comedy routine this weekend, she's entitled. Too many people have this pre-concieved notion of her as a Sunday School teacher who doesn't "let her hair down." She shattered that notion.

The comments were not meant for your four-year old watching at home. It was late Saturday and on C-Span. If your four year-old is up late watching C-Span, I'd have to question your judgement."


Agreed on both accounts. I found Mrs. Bush's comments to be pretty hilarious, considering the source, and attached no other meaning to them than her poking fun at her husband.

Coincidentally, your "not meant for 4 year olds" is also applicable to "South Park" as well.

[Palladin]

My apologies for tampering with your virgin mind.

[dirtboy]

Nobody on the other side said anything NEAR what he said;

This coming from a poster who said folks on the other side of the debate needed to get laid. Yeah, Howlin, you'd keep this debate civil if the other side would just play nice.

That's a far funnier joke than anything Laura said that night.

[Do not dub me shapka broham]

Really?

Just judging by the descriptions, I've been pretty skeptical.

Though, if you're enthused, I suppose it's worth a try!

:)

I just don't know what they're going to do to replicate the force of the original radio scripts, BBC TV series, and Douglas Adams novels.

I guess another thing that threw me off was that they couldn't even get Roger Ebert-who's willing to schill for any turkey out there-to give it a positive review.

There are a few film critics, e.g. James Bowman, Gene Lyons, Leah Rozen, V.A. Musetto, who I can usually rely upon to give an honest evaluation of what they've seen.

I'll definitely have to think it over now that you've recommended it.

But nine bucks?!

Eek.

I'll have to think it over.

:0)

-good times, G.J.P. (Jr.)

[farmer18th]

Points well taken. You didn't read my apology, and as I have pointed out here, my expression is not justified by the failure of the first lady to use judgement on this occasion: The First Lady is not in competition with Chris Rock for laughs around the gas lights. It was a very low moment for Republican first families.

[Constitution Day]

Hmmm, I hadn't heard that.
Good thing it's 616 and not 919! :)

[Howlin]

This coming from a poster who said folks on the other side of the debate needed to get laid.

I think these threads prove my point.

As I said before, you are TOO invested in this story.

[international american]

" But her off-color stripper and horse jokes crossed the line. Can you blame Howard Stern for feeling peeved and perplexed? And let's face it: If Teresa ("I'm cheeky!") Heinz Kerry had delivered Mrs. Bush's First Lady Gone Mildly Wild routine, social conservative pundits would be up in arms over her bad taste and lack of dignity."

Thanks Texas. What Michelle said today is an almost verbatim transcript of what I posted on that thread yesterday, and the Bush bots swarmed and tried to rip my head off! Hypocrisy-on-parade : )

ROTF....

[bonfire]

That's what so damn funny about all this! These extremists have gone full cirle and turned into the Dems they profess to hate!!

[dirtboy]

I think these threads prove my point.

Howlin, don't whine about the mud the other side is throwing as you toss your own.

As I said before, you are TOO invested in this story.

Howlin, I would venture you have made three to four times more posts on this subject than I have.

But I'm the one who is TOO invested?

Talk about projection.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

Here's the issue here: Should a republican, conservative first lady whose husband was elected by "the values vote" be telling strip-joint jokes and legitimizing trash TV? Can that position seriously be defended? Go ahead and try.

It wasn't just the values vote that elected him. In my case, I voted for Bush, because I trusted him to do his best to defend the country.

Now one of the main reasons the terrorists have targeted us is that they see our society as decadent. One thing that they as decadent is our protection of free speech, including racy humor, under the aegis of the First Amendment.

In that light, Laura Bush's off-color jokes, in a forum intended for adults, were giving a metaphorical finger to the terrorists. She was, indeed, standing up for one of the main reasons that I voted for President Bush.

[farmer18th]

I'm not 'demonizing' you 'farmer', I just think you're a gutless slug.

Thanks for that very helpful distinction. On the logic front, you are a veritable Mag Lite.

[bonfire]

"This coming from a poster who said folks on the other side of the debate needed to get laid"


She just has the guts to post what everyone else is thinking.

[international american]

Most great comedians who have withstood the test of time used little or no profanity. If something is funny, you don't need an F U or bastard or $hit to make it funnier. This is all but lost on people today.

[dirtboy]

I'm not 'demonizing' you 'farmer', I just think you're a gutless slug.

He was man enough to apologize for his over-the-line comments yesterday.

Meanwhile, his oppenents are still rationalizing away their personal attacks.

Who are the gutless ones now?

[TheForceOfOne]

So you apologized for a lack of judgment which is commendable, but the fact you said it with malice disregard shows your original intent way to damage her reputation.

The difference between you and the first lady is that her jokes were written for her and she had no intention of offending anyone, only to make us laugh.

So now here we are with you feeling as though we should forgive you so that the Laura bashing can get back on track.

Think about it.