Posted on 05/03/2005 4:50:26 PM PDT by fight_truth_decay
The Laura Ingraham Show, today May 3rd, spotted a clip of guest and actor Martin Short with host Bill Maher popping off insults{or was it just all edgy fun} on the South, Jesus Freaks, Snake Handlers, Low Brows and Goobers on April 29's HBO “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”.
I discovered and cut the transcript from Episode #310 for FReeper read - Real Time...With Maher and Short. Full text available at http://www.safesearching.com/billmaher/print/t_hbo_realtime_042905.htm
CUT
MAHER: All right, let's meet our panel. [applause] All right, let's meet our panel. He is the Lt. Governor of Maryland and a rising star in the Republican Party. Please welcome Lt. Governor Michael Steele right over here. [applause]
MAHER: She's a correspondent for National Public Radio, whose latest book is Trust. Farai Chideya, our old friend. [applause] [cheers] How you doing?
MAHER: And he is the Emmy and Tony-winning comedy legend whose latest movie, “Jiminy Glick in La La Land” opens May 6 th all across the country. Martin Short right over here! [applause] [cheers]
MARTIN SHORT: Thank you…It's “La La Wood,” Bill.
CUT
MAHER: Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy – and Bush was the perfect guy – who they'd want to have over for pot-roast. And George Bush is that guy. He does that well. You'd like to have him over for pot-roast. He reminds you of yourself. Okay. Well, now he's been over, he's had the pot-roast. But he's getting drunk—[laughter]—and now he's talking about stem cells and Terri Schiavo and gay marriage. And now he's the guest that won't leave. [laughter] [applause] [cheers] I mean, come on—
STEELE: All right. Go ahead. There's a point somewhere there. What's your point?
MAHER: The 40 – he has a 44% approval rating. The Republican Congress has a 35% approval rating; 78% want Dennis Hastert removed from his feeding tube.
STEELE: [overlapping] But that's typical for any Congress. That's typical for any Congress.
MAHER: I'm sorry?
STEELE: That's typical for Congress. I mean, generally, you'll find the congressional numbers to be way, way low. Typically, you do.
MAHER: [laughs] This guy…
SHORT: So it's – so it's a good thing?
STEELE: That's generally how people feel about Congress. I mean, you know, the House and Senate.
SHORT: So it's good.
MAHER: I don't know – I don't know if it's that low.
STEELE: Yeah, it is. Trust me.
MAHER: But I think – but I think, to the Republicans, it doesn't matter if they're unpopular, because they're like a playoff team. They don't care how they do during the season, because the playoffs are the election time. And at election time, they can always push the buttons – the fear buttons. They can always rally their Jesus freaks, and then they will win the election. [applause]
CUT
MARTIN SHORT: You know, I saw a thing on “60 Minutes II” the other night, where they were – it was a piece on people who still believe – it's in the South – but they believe that if you—[laughter]—no, no, no, but I'm saying it's in the South because they all had accents—[laughter]—and they had snakes. “And the Lord said if you hold the snake and let it bite you, it's okay because the Lord let it bite you!”
FARAI CHIDEYA: Doesn't work for you?
SHORT: And you had a good feeling that those people didn't vote for Mr. Kerry.
BILL MAHER: Right. [laughter]
SHORT: And I think that that is – I wondered that without that kind of intellect, would George Bush have won by three percent? [applause]
MAHER: I agree with you. And when – I tell you, when people in such places see that – not that they watch this show, but if they catch it, they will say you're demeaning them. You're saying – and I always say, “You are what you do.” If you believe the thing about—
SHORT: I didn't demean them. I said that they “had a snake that…” [mimes holding snake to his face] [laughter]
CHIDEYA: I have to—
MAHER: But if you believe that, you are a goober. I'm sorry. [laughter]
STEELE (Lt. Gov. MICHAEL STEELE, (R) Maryland): Well, but – I mean, but just—
MAHER: I'm not – I'm not ridiculing them.
STEELE: --but the reality, Bill, I mean – God bless you, you're high-brow, we get it. You know, you have your latte in the morning—
MAHER: No, they're just low-brow. [laughter]
SHORT: Yeah.
STEELE: --and do you thing. But the reality—[cheers]—no, but you know what? I mean, that's just – that's just – that's just plain dumb. Because they're Americans and they have a point of view that in this country—
CHIDEYA: [overlapping] But, Michael—
MAHER: [overlapping] They're snake-handlers—
STEELE: [overlapping] But this is the point—
SHORT: [overlapping] I'm not saying – I'm not saying that. I'm saying that they're not – and you know this, you know this – and if you saw the special—
STEELE: Know what?
SHORT: That they're not terribly bright people. [laughter]
STEELE: Oh, God.
SHORT: [overlapping] I'm talking—wait a second!
CHIDEYA: You guys—
SHORT: Let me clarify something.
STEELE: [overlapping] Oh, that is – that is such—
SHORT: I am talking—
CHIDEYA: This is why the South says that they are going to rise again.
STEELE: [overlapping]—arrogant twaddle. I've never—
SHORT: [overlapping] I am not saying – wait a second—
STEELE: [overlapping]—it is so arrogant.
SHORT: I'm not saying “the South.” I'm not saying “the South.” I'm saying the people with the snakes. [laughter]
CHIDEYA: You just said, “the South.” You know, I have to say, we're actually from the South. Maryland is the Mason/Dixon Line.
SHORT: [overlapping] But wait a second! But, listen, I have a movie opening in the South, for God's sake. [laughter]
As Laura pointed out on her show, Mahar had interrupted his guests by saying: "Wait a second. I just want to say something. We do try to reach out every week to get more conservatives in the audience."
Their Dog Crap!!
Dixie Proud.
Keep bashing the south Billie Maher. Keep talking.....
You wouldn't want Hitler bragging about you would you? It would be terrible if Satan said he loved you.
MAHER: Thank you. So I do have a theory about why there are gay Republicans. It's because the Republican Party is neat and organized. [laughter] But let's get back to why there are black Republicans. Because – let's get the fact here. First of all, President Bush did do better among blacks in 2004 than he did in 2000. He went from 9% to 11% of the vote. That's significant. In Ohio , he went from 9% to 16%, and that basically swung the election. And people are saying, “Why?”
STEELE: I spent a lot of time in Ohio .
MAHER: What's that?
STEELE: I spent a lot of time in Ohio .
MAHER: Working for the president?
STEELE: Yeah.
MAHER: Okay. Let me put forth a theory as to why that is, and then you can argue with me.
CHIDEYA: Yeah.
MAHER: I think the reason why he got more black vote is the same reason he got more white vote: because what the black community has in common with the Republicans is a greater than average homophobia.
STEELE: No.
MAHER: It was the gay issue. Come on.
So come on Bill..am I to understand, black Republicans and white Republicans voted for Bush because they are homophobics?
How do you know that ..??
You don't know what might happen to them at some other time.
Actually, they're just acting like the heathen they are.
WHY WHY WHY??? I love Martin Short and always have. Why did he have to open his mouth and insult me? I don't handle snakes for a religion, but my grandfather's family did. (and he always thought there was no need for snakes to love God and moved away from them) I was born and raised in Georgia and while we have our share of dumba&&es down here, there is no need to insult southerners.
Life's too, um, short...
I wonder, do they include Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter amongst that number?
A clown dissed you. Big freaking deal. Grow up.
why don't these people shut up? i actually liked Martin Short... he was funny in Father of the Bride (syl-LAB-le)... and he thought he was really good on one of the Law and Order shows a couple of weeks ago... i've seen him in other things, but can't think of them right now... oh well.. adios, Martin Short...
At this point Maher is caught up in having to say the next most outrageous thing to keep his dismal name in the headlines of "tha ntertainmunt nuz" so he can keep getting invited to the cocktail parties and postpone his innevitable hasbeenism. Martin Short - aging, just now starting his struggle with the same.
i hear ya'...
Bill Maher is not an intellectual. He is a pseudo-intellectual like most of them are. Truly brilliant people do not laud themselves over others like that because tey are secure in their being. The lightweights are the ones who have to go out and bluster like that.
The fact that Maher has an audience at all proves P.T. Barnum and H.L. Mencken were both right, though. Folks actually cheer this man, ou know.
Regarding the insulting of the South...
Well, it's more than the south. If you look at that map, things look pretty lonely for Kerry folks.
For a group that speaks so highly about nuance, their attacks on opponents sure aren't.
I came from the Northeast, and I am glad to be away from people like Bill Maher and his cronies. They think they're smarter, better-educated, and wealthier when the truth isn't so clean-cut.
Lastly, when the chips are down and lives are on the line, I would much rather be in the trench next to a good ol' boy than some stiff Country Clubber who considers me to be one level above a chimpanzee.
For that matter, have you ever heard Ted Turner speak? Now there is a southerner without a brain. I still can't believe he managed to get as wealthy as he has.
ou = you. My fingers are geting tired now.
FWIW, I've never met a "snake handler" Christian. Every Christian I've met takes Jesus' admonition to Satan ("Thou shalt not put the Lord the God to the test") very seriously.
I am not from the South..
I think I added: "{or was it just all edgy fun}"...twas for the reader to decide.
;)
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