Posted on 05/03/2005 11:49:34 AM PDT by Antonello
Read everyone else's posts in this thread in regards to G....most see him as a selfish ass. And seeing the girl as being hurt.
Excited over meeting her 'real' dad? I don't think so. At 13, she is already in the hormonal rages and self-doubt, this ain't exactly good news.
The guy who she thought was her dad is sueing her mom for the money he spent on her...WOW! Gee, if that doesn't say 'I could not care less for you' than I don't know what does.
Personally, I don't see the happy ending you see. I see a lot of adults doing selfish things that end up hurting a kid.
Pessimism? No, just being a old lady whose seen too much :)
Your daughter is a lucky young lady, with you for a dad.
Actually looking at the posts 'most' do not see him being a 'selfish @$$.' I'd even say the opposite (and for the first time in forever i even saw fellow freepers saying positive things about France)!!!! LOL.
The thing is I guess most men will see this differently than most women. Which reminds me of something the mother of a close friend of mine once told me. She said that the only person who truly knows that they are the parent of the child is the mother, since it is the mother who actually carried the kid. The dad can think he is the father, he can believe, he can hope, he can pray, he can be adamant about being the father ....but only a DNA test can truly prove he is the child's sire (whether or not he is the father, which are 2 different things).
Women never have to go through such issues (unless it is the rare occasion when infants get switched by mistake at the hospital). But if you check California law you will notice many men who have been FORCED to pay child support for kids who are not their own, simply because they signed a birth certificate when the child was born (after being told by their 'significant other' that the kid was theirs).
My personal thoughts on the matter are filled with profound sadness at what the daughter is going through. And i can see you point on how this could hurt the kid (and furthermore if i was the guy i would not bother suing .....i would raise the child as my daughter and no one would ever know that i was not the sperm donor. Not even the deceptive mother, and certainly not my DAUGHTER). That is what i would do, and i pray to the good Lord that i never have to find myself in such a position. But i know what i would do.
Thus i would act in a divergent manner from Mr G.
All the same I can understand why he would do that. No one wants to be cuckold (check out the meaning of 'cuckold husband,' which is basically a man who is tricked by his wife to raise another man's kids). It is one thing to do it out of a position of knowledge, and it is another to be tricked.
And to be honest with you, even though i wouldn't do what the guy did I totally support this law. Especially over the California version that basically does the inverse. Raising a child that is not biologically your own should be a choice and not some obligatory rule just because the judges (like those in Calif.) feel that the child needs a father. And anyways, i doubt any guy who is forced to be a 'father' would be a good one in the first place. A father has devotion and affection for his child/children, and there is no way a forced decree would help in that respect. All it would do is prove child support money from a guy who had no part in the conception, while the actual responsible party is probably elsewhere getting some other woman pregnant.
Another such case I know of personally, where it was unknown to the 'Dad' that he was a real father....3 years later the mother track my friend down after the mother's fiancee had a blood test run and found out it was his. So then, their wedding was off. The mother receive(s)d public assistance until she located my friend.
At that time, needless to say, he was floored for a 'one night stand' on the 3rd day she had broken off the relationship/engagement to her future fiancee. Anyway now he is in debt to child services in W. Va. to around $23,000 because of interest on the original $15,000. The state doesn't care either that he was unemployed (laid off) for over a year. W. Va. kept the support at around $527 and kept tacking on interest. It is a mess, but he loves his daughter and sees her often. I've seen pictures of her and no doubt who the father is. The mother complains about the money all the time though she buys a lot of new vehicles (in relatives names) and takes many out-of-town trips. The state refuses to adjust his support and interest though he makes 2/3 what he did in 2001.
Children are a huge responsibility for both parents, not just the father as the courts in this country seem to be blind to a woman's equal irresponsibility with time and money for the child. The 12 yr old daughter is practically being raised by the grandmother while the mother 'plays' (sleeps) around for days at a time.
was he any less her father because he wasn't the biological father, if you adopt a child are you any less the father of that child
He didn't adopt that child and he didn't father her either. I don't see that he has any responsibility in the matter. The support he did give was because of the mothers fraud.
found out it was his=found out it was NOT his.
Yes, I read the whole article! Sheesh back atcha!
Lets just agree to disagree on this...Like Spetznaz said, we all will see this differently....through the filters of our own lives and experiences.
I see a sad twist, you see hope...hey, you have a more positive view of life! ;)
That's a thorny issue. I propose as an alternative, that support be continued for the child, but that the mother receive one lash for every $100 dollars the child receives. If she doesn't want to go to the whipping post every month in order to get her check, that's her lookout.
This whole silly pissing match started when you said she wouldn't be damaged by all this brouhaha. Read your own posts...she was forced to move, change her name, mom lied etc. And now she see's 'dad' suing mom. Woo hoo. She's twerked...
His petitioning to see her is good but his suing mom for the expense of raising her is assholian. "Daddy loves you" ain't gonna fix it (IMHGLO...Oh hell, Leave out the H)
I stand on my original statement that she is the victim and going to be twerked by all this.
OK, I'm going to go kick a few puppies to feel better. Maybe even break someone's expensive camera too. ;) Haveanicedayandcomebacktoseeus, yahear?
"and if I see her shoes are a bit worn, I'll drag her into a shoe store for a new pair"
HAHA, In a couple of years when she's older she'll be dragging YOU into the shoe store! :)
True story...(not about dh nor myself)
Husband deploys. Husband cheats; wife cheats. Husband returns from overseas deployment and happy days. Few months later, she is pregnant. Husband and wife happy, though wife secretly wonders. Husband in delivery room while wife gives birth, baby arrives and doctors say, "It's a boy." Hush falls over the room. New parents urge doctors to hurry up so they can see and hold their new baby boy. Everyone still quiet. Doctor passes baby to nurse, who passes baby to mother and father. Baby boy is mulatto (is that a proper term?). Mom and dad are caucasian.
Speed ahead more than a decade, and everyone still together; boy being raised by mom and husband in delivery room. Somehow, they worked this out.
Everyone is missing the point here.
An axiom in the US courts is that "Custody and Child Support are TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE ISSUES"
At least that's what the courts tell men who are denied access to their kids.
First of all i was agreeing with you.
Secondly I read the entire article.
Finally I said what I would do. I was stating what I would have done if I was in his situation, not passing judgement on that guy.
Read the entire post.
Oh, those French are so naive and not wise in the ways of the world like us. They don't realize thinks like this and world leaders using employees for sex in their office are natural and should be accepted.
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