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NCAA has better things to do than nitpicking over school nicknames (William & Mary fans take note)
The Virginian Pilot ^ | 05/02/05 | Kerry Dougherty

Posted on 05/02/2005 7:54:41 PM PDT by smoothsailing

NCAA has better things to worry about than nitpicking over school nicknames

By KERRY DOUGHERTY

Get out your No. 2s, everyone. We're taking a little quiz.

Can you name the high school mascot in Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon ?

The Whippets. Excellent.

And why do public radio fans find the Whippets endlessly amusing?

Because no athlete wants to be linked with a skinny, skittish dog whose head is shaped like a pinecone, that's why.

Which brings us – as you knew it would – to the College of William and Mary, home of the Tribe.

Wednesday's front page told us that the NCAA sent out letters to 31 schools, including William and Mary, asking about the roots of their American Indian nicknames.

When I phoned the NCAA yesterday in Indianapolis, Indiana, (shouldn't they do something about that?) a spokeswoman refused to name all of the schools that were notified. She suggested I get a list of college and university mascots and call them myself.

No thanks.

Frankly, I'm looking on the bright side. The response to this letter will give Virginians a great look at William and Mary's new president, a former quarterback for Oklahoma State University.

If Gene Nichol launches his tenure on July 1 by sniveling before the NCAA's P.C. police, we'll know he's not worthy to replace the tenacious Tim Sullivan.

(Sullivan, you'll recall, stood up to the priggish state auditor and assorted Allen administration flunkies in 1996 when they scolded him for resurrecting the genteel practice of inviting a few faculty and staff members to his office on Friday afternoons for a sip of sherry. A civilized custom that harkened back to the early 18th century.)

On the other hand, if Nichol fires off an indignant reply that suggests the NCAA turn its attention to more important things, such as the embarrassing graduation rate of athletes at lesser institutions, we'll know the college continues to be in good hands.

Need we remind the NCAA nitpickers that tribes are not the exclusive property of American Indians?

But let's be honest. William and Mary's Tribe is American Indian. You can tell, by those feathers on the logo. These two feathers, the NCAA implies, could cause pain and heartache to American Indians.

Sheesh.

Still, the fear of offending certain ethnic groups has caused a number of teams to pre-emptively change their nicknames.

Stanford, for instance, dropped its Indians moniker to become the Cardinal . No word yet on the reaction of the hierarchy in the Catholic Church.

Dartmouth's Indians morphed into the Big Green. But the Big Green what? This is an Ivy League school. Surely someone noticed the lack of a noun.

In that same vein, Syracuse recently abandoned its Orangemen – to the great relief of orange people everywhere – and became simply the Orange.

Since political correctness nearly always elbows aside common sense, may I humbly suggest a few new nicknames for William and Mary?

In honor of the university's most famous alum – no, not Jon Stewart – they could call themselves the Jeffersons.

Given the school's colonial history, the Musket Balls might work.

Then again, excited fans might drop the word "musket."

To recognize the incredible academic standards at William and Mary – Phi Beta Kappa was born there – how about these:

The Brainiacs.

The Einsteins.

The William and Mary Mensas.

I'm just trying to help.

Wait, a minute, I think I have it. According to the university's home page, the College Building was burned in 1862, "... set on fire by drunken soldiers of the 5th Pennsylvania Cavalry."

Why not the Drunken Soldiers? That ought to offend just about everyone.

No?

All right then, how about the William and Mary Whippets?

© 2005 HamptonRoads.com/PilotOnline.com


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; US: Virginia
KEYWORDS: americanindians; mascot; ncaa; wandm; williamandmary
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To: Land_of_Lincoln_John

LOL!


21 posted on 05/02/2005 8:44:32 PM PDT by Howlin (North Carolina, where beer kegs are registered and illegal aliens run free.)
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To: lawdude

Yet people still enroll. Amazing.


22 posted on 05/02/2005 8:44:55 PM PDT by Xenalyte (I dare you to make less sense.)
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To: lawdude

LOL!


23 posted on 05/02/2005 8:45:37 PM PDT by smoothsailing (Qui Nhon Turtle Co.)
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To: lawdude
You can tell, by those feathers on the logo.

There's a Flip Wilson routine in there:

How'd you know I was an Indian?

It's the feathers, baby; you're either an Indian or a chicken.

24 posted on 05/02/2005 8:45:50 PM PDT by Howlin (North Carolina, where beer kegs are registered and illegal aliens run free.)
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To: Luddite Patent Counsel

You beat me too it!


25 posted on 05/02/2005 8:48:03 PM PDT by Oystir
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To: Oystir

It's the Lake Wobegon Whip Its.


26 posted on 05/02/2005 9:19:31 PM PDT by ReadyNow
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To: smoothsailing

I found it! Google is a wonderful thing.

27 posted on 05/02/2005 9:30:31 PM PDT by Huntress (Possession really is nine tenths of the law.)
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To: smoothsailing

Amherst is The Lord Jeffs, which could be deemed offensive to royalty, or to people named Jeff. Of all sports mascots, the one whose continued presence surprises me the most is Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians. How he's made it through the lawsuits is amazing. Chief Nock-A-Homa bump.


28 posted on 05/02/2005 9:31:50 PM PDT by speedy
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To: smoothsailing
If they change "Fighting Irish", I'll be mad, since we're good at fighting. :)

(Actually I think it was named after a Civil War brigade).

29 posted on 05/02/2005 9:32:44 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan (Defeat Granholm and Stabenow in 2006!!!!!)
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To: lawdude
How about the Scottsdale Community College "Artichokes" ??

And, then, there is the Itasca (TX) Wampus Cats.

And, yes, there is an illustration on the water tower...

30 posted on 05/02/2005 9:35:27 PM PDT by okie01 (The Mainstream Media: IGNORANCE ON PARADE)
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To: speedy

The one that amazes me with it's ability to stick is Redskins. For NA citizens, that's pretty much the N word.


31 posted on 05/02/2005 9:46:52 PM PDT by SoDak (Hoist that rag!)
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To: SoDak

Yep. There were some pretty strong efforts, but there is so much money involved, and a lot of politicians root for them, that they also keep escaping. I agree, unlike neutral names like Seminoles or Braves or Tribe, Redskin actually was meant to be somewhat of an ethnic slur. Go figure.


32 posted on 05/02/2005 9:53:28 PM PDT by speedy
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To: Huntress

Great Catch! Has a 50s kinda thing about it.:^)


33 posted on 05/02/2005 10:18:05 PM PDT by smoothsailing (Qui Nhon Turtle Co.)
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To: Huntress

That would be the Richland "Bombers'.


34 posted on 05/02/2005 10:30:24 PM PDT by connectthedots
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To: okie01

Up to the early 1970s, it was the Eastern Washington State College 'Savages'.


35 posted on 05/02/2005 10:41:31 PM PDT by connectthedots
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