Harvard Law Prof. Laurence H. Tribe
Posted on 05/02/2005 7:54:41 PM PDT by smoothsailing
NCAA has better things to worry about than nitpicking over school nicknames
By KERRY DOUGHERTY
Get out your No. 2s, everyone. We're taking a little quiz.
Can you name the high school mascot in Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon ?
The Whippets. Excellent.
And why do public radio fans find the Whippets endlessly amusing?
Because no athlete wants to be linked with a skinny, skittish dog whose head is shaped like a pinecone, that's why.
Which brings us – as you knew it would – to the College of William and Mary, home of the Tribe.
Wednesday's front page told us that the NCAA sent out letters to 31 schools, including William and Mary, asking about the roots of their American Indian nicknames.
When I phoned the NCAA yesterday in Indianapolis, Indiana, (shouldn't they do something about that?) a spokeswoman refused to name all of the schools that were notified. She suggested I get a list of college and university mascots and call them myself.
No thanks.
Frankly, I'm looking on the bright side. The response to this letter will give Virginians a great look at William and Mary's new president, a former quarterback for Oklahoma State University.
If Gene Nichol launches his tenure on July 1 by sniveling before the NCAA's P.C. police, we'll know he's not worthy to replace the tenacious Tim Sullivan.
(Sullivan, you'll recall, stood up to the priggish state auditor and assorted Allen administration flunkies in 1996 when they scolded him for resurrecting the genteel practice of inviting a few faculty and staff members to his office on Friday afternoons for a sip of sherry. A civilized custom that harkened back to the early 18th century.)
On the other hand, if Nichol fires off an indignant reply that suggests the NCAA turn its attention to more important things, such as the embarrassing graduation rate of athletes at lesser institutions, we'll know the college continues to be in good hands.
Need we remind the NCAA nitpickers that tribes are not the exclusive property of American Indians?
But let's be honest. William and Mary's Tribe is American Indian. You can tell, by those feathers on the logo. These two feathers, the NCAA implies, could cause pain and heartache to American Indians.
Sheesh.
Still, the fear of offending certain ethnic groups has caused a number of teams to pre-emptively change their nicknames.
Stanford, for instance, dropped its Indians moniker to become the Cardinal . No word yet on the reaction of the hierarchy in the Catholic Church.
Dartmouth's Indians morphed into the Big Green. But the Big Green what? This is an Ivy League school. Surely someone noticed the lack of a noun.
In that same vein, Syracuse recently abandoned its Orangemen – to the great relief of orange people everywhere – and became simply the Orange.
Since political correctness nearly always elbows aside common sense, may I humbly suggest a few new nicknames for William and Mary?
In honor of the university's most famous alum – no, not Jon Stewart – they could call themselves the Jeffersons.
Given the school's colonial history, the Musket Balls might work.
Then again, excited fans might drop the word "musket."
To recognize the incredible academic standards at William and Mary – Phi Beta Kappa was born there – how about these:
The Brainiacs.
The Einsteins.
The William and Mary Mensas.
I'm just trying to help.
Wait, a minute, I think I have it. According to the university's home page, the College Building was burned in 1862, "... set on fire by drunken soldiers of the 5th Pennsylvania Cavalry."
Why not the Drunken Soldiers? That ought to offend just about everyone.
No?
All right then, how about the William and Mary Whippets?
© 2005 HamptonRoads.com/PilotOnline.com
Thanks to everyone who voted out Col Reb and playing Dixie at football games
If I recall correctly, there is a high school in Washington state that calls itself the Bombers. Its mascot is a mushroom cloud.
Good sense of humor -- I like thems kind
and the NCAA for not playing under the Confederate Battle
Flag
My favorite offensive team nickname was from Pekin, Illinois, which until 1981 was the home of the "Chinks". Bunch of wussies changed it to "Dragons".
I thought "Tribe" referred to Jews?
Must not be anywhere near Seattle.:^)
Don't forget the Dixie Redcoat Marching Band.
Shoulda changed it to the Pekin"Toms".:)
Wouldn't this offend Tangerines?
Why not name every team "The Fightin' Things" and be done with it already?
Harvard Law Prof. Laurence H. Tribe
Isn't there a school in Long Island, Hofstra U (where the NY Jets train) called the Fighting (or Flying) Dutchman?
Sorry, no fighting.
How about the Scottsdale Community College "Artichokes" ??
Dunno, it all sounds too fruity.:)
Come on,did you make that up?:)
If they don't like the name 'The Tribe', why not change it to 'The Clan'?
Then they could all walk around in their tartan kilts and play bagpipes.
"Come on,did you make that up?:)"
Nope, and the school colors are pink and white. IIRC
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