Posted on 04/27/2005 12:37:00 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of clinical and developmental psychology and chair of the human development department at Cornell University has studied teenagers for more than 30 years. His new book, The New Gay Teenager, documents new developments in adolescent sexuality, including a level of comfort in diversity their elders could only envy. Today's teens, says Savin-Williams, generally don't require a sexual definition in order to express who they are.
And being oneself might be anywhere on a broad sexual spectrum between having thoughts of attraction toward someone of the same sex to dating to having sexual experiences, with both the opposite sex and same-sex partners.
And teens are getting many of these diversity messages from media models and their parents, says Savin-Williams. Among them, "That same-sex sexuality is not such a big deal - not so much as in my generation, when it was hugely a big deal. In fact, if we gave high school kids the right to vote, we'd have same-sex marriage."
This in itself may not be a surprise because political and social experimentation are also a part of the teen years, "Sometimes when I interview my college students, even they are amazed at what's going on with the younger kids," Savin-Williams says.
"Here's what's intriguing," he continues. "The fact is that high school kids reflect their parents. Issues like racism and sexism are not declining with their cohorts. This is the one 'ism' that seems to have the widest generation gap. Why? I'm only speculating, but somehow, they don't think this will be adaptive for their kids in the future."
And as more and more people disclose same-sex sexuality - including friends, family members and admired celebrities - it can be increasingly difficult and unrewarding to divide into "us-and-them" exclusions.
"There is a reality that even those mammoth differences that used to exist are getting considerably smaller," he says.
Also, the definition of "gay" is increasingly harder to pin down. "For me, the word gay is technically a sexual identity label. What has happened is that it's become a very generic word to refer to anyone with same-sex attractions. I'm referring to a much wider group of things. I'm hoping we can accept a wide range on the sexual spectrum - most of us are somewhere in between [gay and heterosexual]," he notes.
For many people of all ages, love is situational, based on the person rather than gender. "If that were really freed up, you'd find a lot of same-sex couples [who would say], 'That's now what I am, this is who I love.'" Interestingly, these relationships are not an accurate predictor of the person's sexual future. This holds true particularly for young women, Savin-Williams explains. "[Women] tend to be more fluid, not exclusively genitally focused. Increasingly, I'm finding boys who are of the same belief and attitude. That gives me hope.
"I know male individuals who are gay but married and in love with a woman. That's there all along the spectrum - they fell in love with the woman but that's not their primary sexual attraction," he said.
On the flip side, he explains, a straight person could fall in love with someone of the same sex. "In the past, they would never pursue this. Now in the same-sex-friendly youth culture, the straight people could pursue their romantic relationships without being tied to only one sex," Savin-Williams says. "If we could build relationships on love rather than on genitals, that's probably more conducive to what we are or should be as human beings.
Debbie Tennant, a guidance counselor at Ithaca High School for he past 15 years, still sees occasional name-calling. "Kids are more accepting of the differences, but not always - some kids will be quick to label someone and use some labels people used in the 1970s and lash out in very hurtful ways," she says.
At the same time, she adds, "There are wonderful kids in the Gay-Straight Alliance, and they're confident and proud, regardless of who they are, enjoying their friends for who they are."
Di Constantinides, an educator for Planned Parenthood and one of the advisors to Ithaca High School's Gay-Straight Alliance, points out that a lot of the students in the group don't identify as gay but might have gay parents, siblings or close friends.
"I think that in lots of ways Ithaca is really lucky," Costantinides says. "It's very liberal, and people who have liberal attitudes do have an effect on the atmosphere. The right-wing ideology also does - it's not a place free of those. That's definitely in Ithaca and in Ithaca High school but we're a little shifted to the left because of the way politics goes."
The freedom to be oneself - whoever and whatever one is - offers tremendous possibilities to everyone, Savin-Williams says. "I do believe that this opening up of sexuality to acceptance does profit all of us in very significant ways. It allows straight people to have more flexibility, allows people to meet on more equal terms, so I don't keep looking for a person with particular genitalia but the person who is attracted to me as a person."
Yeah, I'll just bet he has!
And roaches leave the room when he does.
After nearly five years at FR, you don't know that the words "Ithaca" and "Cornell" are synonyms for "barf alert"?
;-)
Wait'll they see what's waiting for them down the road, when the bills come due.
\
Guess you get a categorical pass.
"...having to wear diapers due to incontinence from trauma..."
Are you talking about trauma to the anus and bowel caused by abnormal intercourse? This causing incontinence of the bowel?
Or is there something else I hadn't heard of?
P.S. absolutely get ALL Freeper kids out of the pubic schools. They are practically mandated to mainstream this deviant sexual initiation.
... you don't know that the words "Ithaca" and "Cornell" are synonyms for "barf alert"?
ROTFLMAO!!
That's so true!
Sounds like a Humpty-Dumpty sort of analysis, if I might use that word safely.
Yes, that's exactly what I was talking about. And frankly, I think we need to begin a campaign of explicitly correct speaking because sodomites cannot ber to have the truth revealed about tem, their repulsive actions, and the consequences, ie incontinence, infected hemmorhoids and anal fissures,diseases, and disordered minds.
No pun intended, I hope.
;-)
LOL-NO....just hoped more would see this thread!
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