Get me rewrite!

Jerusalem Post ^ | April 22, 2005 | Mark Steyn

[Marguerite]

The other day, as their latest contribution to the death spiral of American journalism, the Associated Press announced that they would now be supplying newspapers across the country with alternate versions of important stories – in order, as they put it, to "enhance the value of the AP news report to your newspaper."

"The concept is simple," the AP explained in a memo to newspaper editors. "On major spot stories – especially when events happen early in the day – we will provide you with two versions to choose between. One will be the traditional 'straight lead' that leads with the main facts of what took place. The other will be the 'optional,' an alternative approach that attempts to draw in the reader through imagery, narrative devices, perspective or other creative means."

Imagery, narrative devices – who can argue with that? Big important second-term creative-writing course stuff. Can't get enough of it myself. If I'd been more on the ball, I'd have opened this column with a bit of gripping specific imagery myself. If you're reading the "enhanced value" version of this column that runs in The Poughkeepsie Journal-Indicator-Courier-Union-Picayune-Whig-Leader, the gripping imagery will have been inserted by the editorial enhancement consultant. On the other hand, if you're reading the economy version that runs in The Irish Times, you'll have to make do with the standard-issue bland flat opening.

[Marguerite]

I haven't seen that kind of sparkling prose since Barbra Streisand stood up at that pre-Iraq war Democratic Party gala in Hollywood and solemnly regaled the assembled bigshots with Shakespeare's amazingly pertinent lines from Julius Caesar: "Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate..." That's in Julius Caesar?

[Socratic]

"That's in Julius Caesar?"

Nope - urban legend from a less than urbane mind.

[agere_contra]

Mark's point is that, no, that isn't in Julius Caesar.

Plus Shakespeare would never use such stilted prose!

[Marguerite]

"Mark's point is that, no, that isn't in Julius Caesar"

I've got Mark's point, dear ;)

[Marguerite]

Additional read of Mark Steyn's sparkling prose:

"Q: I want to start with Benedict XVI. Rarely have I seen mainstream media turn and bare their teeth as quickly as they have towards Benedict, Mark Steyn. Why? And what does it tell us about media?

Mark Steyn: Well, I think they were rooting for Ellen Degeneres or Rupert Everett. And the fact that the new Pope is, in fact, a Catholic, seems to have come as a great surprise to them. And, you know, each to their own. But if, for example, social conservatives were to complain that the new editor of the New York Times wasn't Rush Limbaugh or you or William F. Buckley, that would sound equally ridiculous. The fact is, institutions are allowed to act in what they see is their own interest. And this, in fact, is just rather childish, this reaction to the Pope. They're sort of, they seem genuinely bewildered that the Cardinals of the Catholic Church think differently on these issues, from Andrew Sullivan and the New York Times."

http://www.radioblogger.com/#000628

[Marguerite]

Excerpt:

"When it was pointed out that her Shakespeare speech was an obvious Internet hoax, Barbra said, who cares? "Whoever wrote this is damn talented, and should be writing their own play." Maybe. But, what with those drums of war whipped into the fever pitch of a double-edged sword all within a single paragraph, I say the guy should be manning the Fresh Vivid Imagery desk at Associated Press.
Yet in the midst of that unreadable sludge of clich s, the AP's desert bard came up with one unreadable sludgy clich that gets the gist of its Iraq coverage better than anything: "Yet again, almost as if scripted" – Isn't that precisely the problem? It is pre-scripted. The good folk of Basra and Kirkuk don't spring out of bed each morning saying, "Ah, another day of hope," only to trudge off to dreamland 16 hours later wondering why yet again the day of hope turned into a day of tears, daring to sing yet another chorus of "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" but knowing deep down chances are the Sunni'll come out tomorrow and blow up the schoolhouse.

As we learned on election day in January, that doomy drivel is imposed on the Iraqi people by the media's pre-scripters. War coverage that comes "almost as if scripted" wouldn't be so bad if they had any scripts in the cupboard except the old instant Vietnam re-make formula. But once the fellows holed up in the Green Zone hotels decided that the war was ye olde Vietnam quagmire, everyone else got the hang of the formula pretty quickly. "

[Marguerite]

Ping!

[Bear_Slayer]

MSM journalists are already creative. We want facts and truth without spin or slant.

That's why they are losing audience, but they don't get it.

[Marguerite]

"We want facts and truth without spin or slant"

....while all they have to offer is pre-edited props

[beowolf]

I've got Mark's point

You do seem to have a firm grasp of both the content, and Mark's intent. The casual observer, also, has to appreciate your tagline as being almost perfectly descriptive.

Regards,

[Billthedrill]

That's probably the stupidest idea I've ever seen in journalism. Whoever came up with it should be taken out and shot.

What a great idea! People love alternatives! (Can I get that job at the AP now?)

[dirtboy]

(Can I get that job at the AP now?)

Only if you smoke your IQ down forty points.

[uncitizen]

The liberals are just jealous and angry because the Catholic community is so joyous and refreshed and celebratory.

[Marguerite]

Thanks, you're too kind
*blush*

[Marguerite]

Great alternative! ;-)
Very promising young man, AP would appreciate.