Posted on 04/21/2005 7:28:37 AM PDT by doug from upland
NOTE: This is the tenth in a series of reports about Congressman Tom DeLay and why he must be removed from leadership and from the House of Representatives.
DELAY No. 1
DELAY No. 2
DELAY No. 3
DELAY No. 4
DELAY No. 5
DELAY No. 6
DELAY No. 7
DELAY No. 8
DELAY No. 9
If I were a betting man, I would wager that Tom DeLay grew up as a big fan of Mary Tyler Moore. You will understand the reference in just a bit.
Most of us take national security seriously. Fortunately, most of our elected officials take it seriously. Unfortunately, DeLay doesn't take it seriously. For what he has done in this episode, he should be wearing stripes for many years. In our National Archives are original documents that are classified and very sensitive. DeLay had access to the documents due to his TOP SECRET clearance. Most generals don't have the same level of clearance as DeLay (or Monica Lewinsky, for that matter.) It is an awesome responsibility. A great deal is at stake.
DeLay recently was given a sweetheart deal, pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor, and will do no jail time. Let's review what he did, shall we?
DeLay had some kind of a mission to cover for someone. We don't know the exact mission, but it had something to do with covering up and trying to protect someone's legacy, a legacy, that by all reasonable measures, is way down deep in the crapper. How it has not already been totally flushed away and made it's way to the sewer remains a cosmic mystery.
Just picture the scene. DeLay is sitting in a private reading room in the National Archives looking at documents inside a place that you or I or 99 and 44/100 percent of America will never be able to see. He is carefully and surreptitiously looking around with those beady eyes. Then, quietly and quickly, his hand is in his pants. No, he is not doing a Pee Wee Herman or what a particular disgraced scumbag did in a big white house while on duty or what a former weapons inspector wanted to do in front of a little girl at the Burger King. What he is doing is stuffing down another document in there. Although, if you think about it, what he was doing probably had the adrenalin going and could be very arousing. He was, after all, risking years in prison. What he was doing must have been somewhat important to take such a risk.
Guards started to become a little suspicious as they watched DeLay's activities. On subsequent trips to the National Archives, they made sure he was taped. Those nasty little cameras can be a problem, can't they? Too bad they were conveniently inoperable on the day Vince Foster was taken away from the White House. Man, that would have been revealing. But, sometimes they just don't function properly, and we just have to accept those kinds of SNAFUs.
DeLay is caught red-handed. It turns out that he actually cut up and destroyed some of the documents that had handwritten notes in the margins. What was he hiding? We are not going to know because of that aforementioned plea deal he made. A misdemeanor and no jail time? For stealing and destroying classified documents? Given his position and experience, he couldn't possibly have any excuse. How many felons currently in prison are watching the story on CNN and wishing they had the right lawyer? Or, that they were in the right party.
What was the reaction of some of DeLay's powerful friends? Not surprisingly, some of them had a great big laugh. Bwahahahahahah! Wasn't that just like DeLay? He is absent minded. His desk is always such a mess. We can understand how this could happen.
Actually, I can understand how things can accidentally and innocently get into your pants. Last week, I found an anvil in mine. It's funny. I guess we forget things as we age. I remember visiting my dentist but not my blacksmith. Here are some tips we can all use from doctor.org about dealing with memory problems -- 1) keep lists, 2) follow a routine, 3) make associations (connect things in your mind), such as using landmarks to help you find places, 4) keep a detailed calendar, 5) put important items, such as your keys, in the same place every time, 6) repeat names when you meet new people, 7) do things that keep your mind and body busy, 8) run through the ABC's in your head to help you think of words you're having trouble remembering. "Hearing" the first letter of a word may jog your memory. Wait. Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah. Talking about DeLay. Doh.
It is clear that what was in DeLay's pants and what was destroyed had something to do with someone's failure to deal with terrorists as they were causing mayhem and death and continuing to grow in strength and stature. Some sociopath was too busy assaulting women, covering up his criminal behavior, and allowing missile technology to be sold to the ChiComs to be concerned about the terrorists as they were growing like a crop of Cannabis sativa on the Central coast of California. Wow, man.
Okay, finally to the Mary Tyler Moore reference. One of her most hilarious episodes was about the death of poor Chuckles the Clown who had been squished by an elephant. Or, was it a bulldozer in the Gaza Strip? There's that memory problem again. Chuckles had a trademark saying -- "A little song, a little dance; a little seltzer down your pants." I am quite certain that those words were on DeLay's mind as he was stuffing sensitive clasified documents down his pants. I cannot understand how he could hold in the laughter. Liquid would have been spewing out my nose as it has done several times to the detriment of my keyboards. Mary couldn't hold it in at the funeral for Chuckles.
A little song, a little dance; the documents are down my pants.
Let's see if we have a handle on this. DeLay commits a crime to cover for a fellow Republican. He destroys classified documents. He is defended by those in his party who have a big laugh over the affair. Yes, national security can be a laughing matter if you think about it. Al Qaeda is having a big laugh. Hey, and Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were pretty funny. Weren't they?
Once again, DeLay won't pay the price. This is getting really, really, really sickening.
What? Wait a minute, someone is interrupting me. Are you kidding? It wasn't Tom DeLay who stuffed classified documents down his pants, covered up a national security failure, destroyed some of the documents, and made a sweetheart deal to stay out of prison and cover the truth? It was who? Sandy Berger? Oh, okay. Never mind.
Another classic. The "Chuckles" episode, and your post. :)
The attack on republicans will not stop at Delay. Read:
http://www.emergingdemocraticmajorityweblog.com/donkeyrising/index.php
Very interesting.
Pinging the DELAY SERIES ping list.
LOL! Lucky you have a bottomless pit of material to work with!
A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer in your pants.
I need it confirmed because I've seen it both ways on the net. Is it "in your pants" or "down your pants?"
I think they should bring Hillary and Delay both before the ethics Committee and let the hair go with the hide.
Indeed!
Unfortunately, DeLay doesn't take it seriously. For what he has done in this episode, he should be wearing stripes for many years.... due to his TOP SECRET clearance....
For a moment I thought we were headed off into "Leaky Leahey Land" with his sellout of the Nic-Contras.
He certainly deserves to be in jail for his crimes.
For historical accuracy: Chuckles the Clown was disguised as a peanut when the elephant squished him.
Good thing he wasn't dressed as Billy Banana,......
Doug--
Firstly, great work.
I wanted to start this as a thread, but as I am at work, I can't really take the time to develop this thought. Perhaps you, or one of our longtime sharp FReepers could help me.
A caller to the Laura Ingraham show just made a very interesting point--that it seems like the Pubbies have grown wobbly after the Terri Schiavo case. This, in spite of the fact that Pubbies have the House, the Senate and the White House.
My question is, what do you think?
Haha - I was reading that as fast as I could thinking, "What the hell?"........lol
I agree with Laura. It happened before Schiavo. They do not know how to use their power. If they go wobbly on Bolton, just think what is going to happen for a Supreme Court nomination. Some have said that this is only the U.N. so we shouldn't worry about it. No. We must stand up now! The RATS will smell blood in the water, and we will be constantly on the defensive.
You are a great American!
Yes. The investigation is not the best thing for DeLay, or the party, at the current time. However, with the support of Maj Whip Blunt and Speaker Hastert, hopefully this issue will be put to rest shortly.
That would be "Must see" TV.
Another laugh riot--if it weren't so true. I can't understand how an industry that thrives on ratings would avoid the sure fire ratings from the shenanigans of Sandy Berger or the obstruction of Justice charges that "Hill the Pill" supporter is currently involved in...
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