Huh! Uh'm Glughgamble!
Posted on 04/20/2005 4:34:40 PM PDT by ArmyBratproud
dang, spacing problems.
Zell Miller knocks out Chissy Matthews, Five Seconds into First Round
FRSN- Washington D.C. In one of the most punishing deliveries of pain in USAA Street Fighting history, Zell 'The Patriot' Miller took out Chrissy 'Commie Boy' Matthews early in the first round of Tuesday night's fight.
"I didn't know what to do, he just kept hitting and kicking me", said Matthews. "I have never hurt so bad in my life, this is worse than the time John Kerry and Ted Kennedy violated my with one of Ted's empties".
The fight, scheduled last fall, was a an event that many had been waiting to see.
"I'm so glad I got tickets to this. To be able to see how they had to strap ole Chrissy boy to that back board and carry his limp body out...well, that was just priceless", said Laura Ingraham, a woman who attended the fight.
In a post fight press conference, the fan favorite Zell Miller showed no mercy. "That silly punk had it coming, the way he talks to women...there is just no excuse for that". Miller challenged Matthews to the fight last fall and did it in classic Southern Gentleman fashion by pressing for a "duel".
The crowd was obviously behind Miller, as they cheered only for him and threw pancakes at Matthews as he entered the ring.
"He was such a wussie. I mean... a real weak kneed sissy boy", Miller said about the man he had just stomped with in an inch of death's door, "I mean, I knew liberals were weak and all...but that freak seems like he would fight wars with spitballs".
Matthews was not the only one to have a bad night. The manager in his corner, Keith Olbermann, wet himself when someone jokingly told him that Freepers had arrived at the arena and were waiting for him in the parking lot. Reduced to a sobbing loser, Olbermann had to be escorted away by orderlies brought in from the Usual Liberal Mental Center in Baltimore. "I hate my life, and people hate me", Olbermann sobbed. "I sucked on ESPN...and I suck at everything else. With the way things are going at MSNBC, I'll be lucky to be the gopher boy for that idiot who hosts Talk Soup".
Obermann than shocked many with a sad admission. "I'm so pathetic, I had to ask my mom to the prom...and she turned me down".
Matthews lost big. As a condition of his loss, he must now admit that he is not even a shell of a man.
The pathetic reality of their lack of toughness had just began to settle in for Democrats when Matthews faced even more bad news.
A woman that witnesses say goes by the name of Michelle 'republican men love me' Malkin, awaited Chris Matthews in the alley behind the arena.
"I'm out here, Chrissy boy, and I'm not leaving 'til I kick your silly liberal a-- from one end of this alley to the other", witnesses heard Malkin say.
hole-n-one contributed to this report
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And then this guy, he looks kind of familiar, he starts screaming "I don't know the frequency, do you?" and then, well it's all kind of hazy but I think I heard a ticking clock or something....
good one.
Check post 62
"That's the best time I ever had at a homeless shelter"
Wish I could have seen that.
"He looks great..looks young...ahh look at the guy they love him here. It's like Lazurus coming out of the tomb".
Yep, and like Martha said, "By now, he stinketh..."
that would explain why he is taking cheap shots at Bolton.
That and the fact that Matthews is an A--hat
I couldnt believe it was him....he walks on his tippy toes!
Huh! Uh'm Glughgamble!
Spitball Matthews: "I feel like Hillary before she passed out. Bad shrimp"
ping!
Buddy can you spare a dime?
She should do that.
LOL!
How do you like my new hair piece?
Where did you get it?
"Lots of Love"
You mean "Locks of Love"
No this is a new hair piece company called "Lots of Love" - they only use pubic hair!
You could not have made a better choice Chriss - it fits you!
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