Posted on 04/20/2005 10:08:55 AM PDT by qam1
I'm sure. No offense meant. This whole thread sort of brought out my general opinions, that's all.
Just as many here really don't know the exact situation of the maligned "working women" they impugn, so I don't know exactly what your situation(s) is(are)! ;-)
In any case, good luck!
Zero-turn mowers are nifty. My neighbor loves hers.
I have a Kubota with a 60" deck.
I'm sure. No offense meant. This whole thread sort of brought out my general opinions, that's all.
Just as many here really don't know the exact situation of the maligned "working women" they impugn, so I don't know exactly what your situation(s) is(are)! ;-)
In any case, good luck!
I absolutely agree with you on all the activities. I see mothers that are in their mini-van or SUV carting their kids around to so many activities that they spend more time in their vehicles than anywhere else. I didn't have these "luxuries" when I was a child, although I was blessed with wonderful parents and grandparents. I had great fun, playing with friends in the woods, building forts, playing imaginary games and when nobody was around to play with, reading books. I developed my great love of reading during the lonely times and it has been my best friend ever since.
As a mother, I was left by an alcholic husband to raise two children on my own (little to no child support, either). I worked hard at my job and even harder at home. My children are grown now and turned out just fine. Heck, I didn't have one minute of the day to feel sorry for myself. My children were the greatest gift of my life. I managed to buy a nice home for them, do all the yardwork and maintenance. You should see the set of tools I have in my workshop! I think that I've lived the American dream. The problem is people are so spoiled, they don't realize how good they have it. A little hard work never killed anyone - just made them stronger.
"The general consensus is that it is far better for children to not be dumped in daycare at 6 weeks old and since at that age it is far better for the mom to be home let moms stay home without being demonized for their CHOICE to be a mom."
I also don't think that it is fair to demonize moms who choose to work. I am a successful working mother who is the daughter of a successful working mother. My mom has always been a source of pride and inspiration to me, and I hope that my daughter sees both me and her grandmother the same way.
I have no problem with women who choose to stay at home with their kids. I don't see why any of them should have a problem with me. *shrug*
You forgot about us being fat.
"The problem is people are so spoiled, they don't realize how good they have it."
And frankly, I think that starts at home.
I was spoiled, but not ROTTEN. I didn't want to do any scheduled things (except the horses, later) and my parents didn't make me (except I forgot about the baton&drum corps which my much-older siblings were in; I don't recall if I wanted to or not, but it was short for me). I only had a couple neighbors for friends; most of our neighborhood was on the "old" side. I had very few friends outside that. I had cousins who were my best friends - when they were around mostly holidays. I had enough child interaction, and plenty of time playing w/cars or Play-doh by myself, reading later. My parents were great and played games w/me as well as w/my siblings, and had traditions like Saturday-nite pizza (we MADE it) and horror movies. I have a strong bond w/my FAMILY. I'm a pretty nice person w/generally good manners (in person - obviously not on the forum!) and I like to assume strangers will be my friends (even tho that hardly ever happens in truth; I'm not blind).
I don't feel at all cheated that I didn't hang around 100 other kids (most tortured me anyway; I was too ugly, ya know) and wear a uniform. OK, well I did wear 1 for the 1 or 2 years I was in the kids' portion of the local drum corps, but....obviously I forget that alot so it didn't mean that much!
"I have no problem with women who choose to stay at home with their kids. I don't see why any of them should have a problem with me."
I stated earlier that there seems now to be a real backlash (in a negative way) against those who have any semblance of a "job". Not just on this forum, but everywhere. Mabye I'm crazy but I've seen it. It's reactionary, I think, cuz "mothers" were disparaged for a whole generation.
Wonder if we'll ever find the balance where no1 automatically has tomatoes thrown their way.
>>>I wish every1 would stop knee-jerk denigrating every woman - "working" or "mother". Mothers have been denigrated a long time, but I see alot of more traditional mothers now, and it seems a BACKLASH in attitude toward less traditional women is in pretty high gear; insults abound. And I don't mean just on this forum.>>>
Exactly!! I am a mother, I love my children, I take good care of them and when I am not there, I make sure they are well taken care of. My husband and I CO parent.
My daughter wants to be a veterinarian with all her heart. I'm supposed to tell her "Sorry kiddo, you're a female. You are going to have to choose. Do you want to do your life's work, passion and love, or not have the experience of being a mother". That is RIDICULOUS!!! Noone would tell a little boy that!! While some feel that their life is completely fulfilled by SOLELY being a wife and mother, it does not make a woman less of EITHER if she chooses to use her intellect in other areas as well.
I disagree with most of the feminist mantra of the 60's and 70's, I do believe that our men can help parent the children and the women can have a fulfilling life outside of the home. The backlash is going to the opposite swing and isn't necessarily productive.
I have been known to consider other things for a milliscond or two.
Good thing I am there to buffer the silly idea that if you are conservative that you have to be stuck at home with babies and couples can't shoulder the parenting. You stay in the middle ages, I'll move forward thank you very much and teach my daughters the same.
If you consider being a homemaker and a primary caregiver to your daughters as something in which to get mired...you're right. Your kids are probably better off not spending so much time with you.
I am the primary caregiver to my kids--nowhere have I implied that my husband doesn't "shoulder" his fair share of the parenting. We ahve breakfast together every morning, dinner together every evening. After dinner my husband spends the evening, up until the kids' bedtime, helping them out with homework and just being Dad. Ditto weekends. He also shoulders his responsibility as a parent by working his butt off to support us.
Maybe it just means that we now have three kids. How odd, indeed.
Now, that's just silly. My Veterinarians are both women.
My mother worked when I was a child and I didn't suffer for having a sitter after school.
I have a problem with the Christian Taliban who think that ALL women should be barefoot, pregnant and chained to the stove.
I have no problem at all with women who CHOOSE to do so.
Most of us have college educations today and are able to make the choices that our mothers were not able to make. My mother worked out of necessity. I have the freedom to choose not to work since I trust my husband not to leave me. Truly, I think many women work because of the fear of divorce. And, to be fair, many of us are very driven in personality, and child-care, while demanding, is very confining. Some crave company and interaction with adults.
I understand.
Personally, I think I really want to stay w/my kids (if I have any) at least when they are little, not in school (I don't believe in pre-school, certainly not as somehow actually enriching the kids which is BS in my book). I'd like to be able to do "hard-core" work again after that, not just working at McDonald's. I don't know if I can do it, since in hard-core professional work, jobs just don't abound and they won't let you just pick up where you left (vacation, pay, etc). Even if I did PT to keep hold of the job, the benefits (great 1s) disappear then.
So, I'm in a quandary myself, even tho I really prefer to stay around for my little children. My situation is that I want to do other work, and I can't just drop it then pick up again when the kids are school-age. Certainly not when they're out of school! No1 would ever want a 50yo engineer who has no working experience the last 15 years!
I just don't see why every1 of either persuasion has to be essentially insulted *just* for being either a FT mother OR some1 who does other work besides.
LOL
Women, are expected to be perfectionists in every department. Just yesterday, my 78 year old next door neighbor called to tell me the woman across the street, called her and told her the women on this side of the street are a detriment to the neighborhood.
I asked her if the woman across the street was drunk, because she does have a drinking problem. I am a full time mother. I am with teenage children. I am training to re-enter the workforce and have little time for this nonsense.
The woman this gal hangs with on the street all drink. They are all 60 something and I believe they are jealous of me cause I am 20 years younger than they are. I cannot even remember their names because I have only spoken to them two or three times in 22 years of living on this street.
They are desperate. And it is not in an attractive way.
Another woman at the church with 4 very young children, committed suicide because she could not live up to the expectations and pressures of what she perceived in her life. VERY SAD.
Okay, I can understand with 7 kids, but I don't understand doing something every day of the week when you only 1 or 2 kids. I know kids that have piano, soccer, gymnastics, girl scouts every single week. That's on top of school work. Geez, when do the kids just get to have fun, and why would any mom want to run around like that.
I think we can have it all, but not at the same time.
I had college, then I successfully worked for 10 years before I started my family. After my kids get older, then I'll go back to working.
I just couldn't have career and young kids at the same time.
I think that might be the way to do it. Sadly, I see many women try to have children, go back to work after six weeks, and next thing you know the little delinquent is 15 and in front of a judge for the sixth time . . . couldn't be because his parents were NEVER FREAKIN' HOME while he was small.
(Sorry for hollering, but I really get peeved at women who place their careers above their children's well-being. NOT you and your like, mind you.)
I think that there are a lot of men and women today who think that it is okay for both parents to work and to send kids to daycare or have a relative or a nanny watch their kids.
I think that is wrong, and I left a high paying job as a software engineer to stay home with my kids because I believe that one parent needs to be home when kids are little. It could be the mom or the dad. My brother was a stay at home dad, and think it worked out well for his family.
Having kids is a sacrifice, and you really cannot replace the parent in the home when the kids are little.
When kids go to school, then a parent has time to pursue career interests while the children are gone. Of course, I think that when the kids come home the parents are not ignoring the kids doing housework or running errands.
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