I have a problem with this delineation that people make about which forms of life support are ordinary and which are not. As I say in another post, I remember the people in iron lungs. I also know someone who was weaned off a ventilator and is now quite well. What if their plug had been pulled?
I've also read people's posts who refer to it as being acceptable to remove life support if a person is terminal or they're elderly. So they do make their own judgments about who is to live and who isn't.
I too feel for your loss, as I have experienced my own, my parents and a sister. But truly, yours must be the hardest of all.
Their are circumstances in which people require ventilators until they recover. My reference was not to those situations.
And I think you are not alone, ,when you state, that many people have a hard time making the decision as to what is extraordinary means and what is not....for many, it is not a simple decison, as others would imply...
I have worked with many elderly, who have gotten to the point, where they eat very little...they are offered food and drink several times a day, but take very little...and I have watched as their families struggled with the decision as to whether or not to have a feeding tube inserted...its never an easy decision, I can assure you...