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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub; armyman; Arrowhead1952; AZamericonnie; beachn4fun; bentfeather; ...
Happy THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY, everybody!!!


Aries, you are outstanding . . . I won't say where . . . but there you are.


Humorscope
Friday, April 15, 2005


 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Excellent day to come up with new theories to explain the universe around you. Remember: the simplest explanation is usually the best. For example, most physicists today subscribe to the "Big Band" theory of the creation of the universe. I have an alternate theory that I prefer, which I call "Tuba Ensemble."

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Good day to begin construction of a labyrinth. Everybody loves a labyrinth.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Today you should sit down (someplace comfy), and ask yourself if you even care. You shouldn't. It's not your fault, you've been trying as hard as you can, so you shouldn't care. Not if they're going to act like that.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You will mosey, this week. There's nothing that wrong with moseying, after all, and it's occasionally just what is needed. In fact, you'll soon begin work on "Mosey Your Way To Fitness", a best-selling self-help book on the topic.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Today is the second-to-last day, of the 19th segment of your life. Time to learn to appreciate tofu (bean curd).

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You will get through the day without too much trouble today. It would go even more smoothly, however, if you had bought that laser cannon when you had the chance.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)

Good day to begin that toothpick sculpture you've been thinking of. Of course, where you're actually going to put a life-sized toothpick sculpture of a rhinocerous is another matter.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You will receive an honor from a foreign dignitary today. Everyone else will be horribly jealous of you.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You will find a biography of some famous dead person, at a garage sale, and buy it on a whim. It will change your life. You will also soon take up bricklaying, as a hobby.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)

Everyone's talking about Nostradamus these days, but nobody ever remembers his first name. Except you. People may think it's pretentious of you to talk about "Bob Nostradamus", but who cares? They'll all die when the comet hits, anyway.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)

Beware of turnips.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Today will be the best day of your life, if you can just remember ... er ... now what was that? Hmmm. If you can just remember something really important. Otherwise, no. Hmmm.


1,408 posted on 04/15/2005 2:29:17 PM PDT by Lady Jag (Honor and Dignity)
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To: Lady Jag

ROTFL!


1,409 posted on 04/15/2005 2:30:08 PM PDT by Bethbg79 (God bless our Troops and their families!)
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To: Lady Jag

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today you should sit down (someplace comfy), and ask yourself if you even care. You shouldn't. It's not your fault, you've been trying as hard as you can, so you shouldn't care. Not if they're going to act like that.



Hmm.. after being chased by the villagers and hounded into an old windmill.. Yes.


1,411 posted on 04/15/2005 2:32:27 PM PDT by Darksheare (Restrain the duck, he'll tell us all he knows once he's plucked. -Chief Interrogator Bluejay)
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To: Lady Jag

Good afternoon, Lady J.


1,418 posted on 04/15/2005 2:42:54 PM PDT by Kathy in Alaska (~ www.ProudPatriots.org ~ next campaign is Operation 4th of July~)
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To: Lady Jag

Aries huh I'm a Taurus


1,423 posted on 04/15/2005 2:52:21 PM PDT by Sirc_Valence (Nice weather)
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To: Lady Jag

((HUGS))Good afternoon, Lady Jag. How's it going?


1,424 posted on 04/15/2005 2:52:47 PM PDT by E.G.C.
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To: Lady Jag
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) Everyone's talking about Nostradamus these days, but nobody ever remembers his first name. Except you. People may think it's pretentious of you to talk about "Bob Nostradamus", but who cares? They'll all die when the comet hits, anyway.

This is funny! Hi Lj!

1,447 posted on 04/15/2005 3:38:00 PM PDT by AZamericonnie
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To: Lady Jag
Cancer (June 21 - July 22) You will mosey, this week. There's nothing that wrong with moseying, after all, and it's occasionally just what is needed. In fact, you'll soon begin work on "Mosey Your Way To Fitness", a best-selling self-help book on the topic.

Well, now I could use another book deal.

1,523 posted on 04/15/2005 5:04:16 PM PDT by Soaring Feather (April is Poetry month.)
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