Posted on 04/14/2005 6:46:56 AM PDT by CarrotAndStick
Do you work long hours?
Are your kids spending more time with their grandparents or the at the babysitter's than with you?
Well, according to a Bristol University study, children aged below two years, who are left under the care of their grandparents or close family friends, are not likely to flourish at school.
On the other hand, children left with paid carers are more likely to come out with flying colours in future.
Researchers examined 7,000 children born in the Avon district in 1991 and 1992 from birth until they were seven years old.
The 'significant' detrimental effects when the child is left with an unpaid carer are as follows:
i. The child is, on average, three months behind his/ her peers by the age of seven, doing less well in literacy and numeracy tests.
ii. The child will be less adept with language.
iii. Their reading and word recognition are less advanced.
The researchers found that short periods of care by relatives appear not to be damaging. Full-time working mothers relying solely on relatives could be harmful.
The research, published in the Economic Journal, is the latest to look at children's educational development and their mothers' working patterns, and will alarm those 44 per cent of working mothers who use grandparents as sources for child care.
Aaruna Jain, a counsellor with the Indian School, Muscat, says all working parents must take extra care and interest in their kids, irrespective of who takes care of them. Here are her suggestions:
1. Just because you are away doesn't mean there should be a lapse of discipline.
Define the ground rules well with respect to going out, study schedules, inviting friends home, watching television and time to be spent on the computer. Make surprise checks to see that the rules are being adhered to.
2. Get into the habit of waking up a little early and having breakfast with your child.
During breakfast, ask your child about his/ her projects, important assignments and plans for the day ahead. The basic idea is to start the day with a conversation as well as words of encouragement and advice.
3. When selecting a babysitter or a crèche, make sure it is a person with good references and a solid reputation.
Talk to previous employers and other parents for valuable insights.
4. Get your children involved!
Whenever possible try to explain to them how important it is for you to be away because of work.
Explain the financial implications, the social responsibilities, etc, due to which you need to be away. Your child will understand if you communicate well.
In fact your child is likely to appreciate and understand your actions better and be proud of your achievements.
You should put our kid into the hands of the villagers (government), not the family? I don't beleive this.
How about mom stays home & raise the kids. You'd just have to give up the Denali and big pool. It works for me.
Yes. But the 'feminists' won't agree wiht you now, would they?
I find it difficult to believe that leaving a child with their grandmother or aunt is more harmful to them than leaving them with a complete stranger.
>>In fact your child is likely to appreciate and understand your actions better and be proud of your achievements.<<
Fulltime, Homeschooling Mom. I guess we are dirt.
ii. The child will be less adept with language.
iii. Their reading and word recognition are less advanced.
This is garbage. Three months behind is a "significant detriment" ? What is their criteria for determining what "the average" should be ?
Let's see a longer-term perspective. Research on Head Start has found that kids raised by parents/relatives and those enrolled in Head-Start have NO SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCES by 3rd grade.
I strongly suspect this "study" did not control for parental income.
Parents (or more likely, single mothers) who leave their offspring with grandparents or other relatives are often not able to afford a "paid caregiver."
Those mothers, as a statistical group, tend to have many other parental pathologies that could account for their childrens' lagging development.
So the conclusion that somehow having a "paid caregiver" is good for a child is entirely unwarranted.
hmmmmmmmmmmm
Oops. I meant 'yes' for the second part of your reply concerning 'stay-at-home' moms rearing their kids. The best possible way it is.
You betcha. And there's no place better to plant a seed and watch it grow.
I see this empirically around me. I think the problem is that grandparents naturally want to spoil the grandkids. And you just can't be a "grandparent" and a caregiver, too. You just have to set too many limits. Perhaps there is a "been-there-done-that" fatigue, too.
That said, many, many grandparents step into bad situations and provide some badly needed structure for troubled kids. The ones I'm thinking about are kids in stable situations but with two working parents whose grandparents are the full-time, or mostly full-time caregivers. This is also not the same as picking up the kids occasionally after school.
No no - it's the eyes in the back of your head that matter. ;)
Nail.
Head.
BANG!
Hmmmm, that's strange, a feminist disagree with me? That's never happened before! < /strong sarcasm>
Some people need to perpetuate their jobs.
My daughter didn't speak English until 2 1/2. She spoke "twinspeak". I watched another girl, her age and they had a language all their own. I would actually ask the other girl what my daughter said. (the other girl was a middle child and was "bilingual"). When her mom had another baby and so did I, I stopped watching the other girl and we moved. Suddenly, although all the experts told me that there was something wrong with her, she began to speak with us!
Now she is 7 and doing 4th grade schoolwork. Go Figure!
>>Fulltime, Homeschooling Mom. I guess we are dirt.
You betcha. And there's no place better to plant a seed and watch it grow.<<
WOW!!! That's the best! Thanks!
I'd really like to see just how these kids were evaluated and for what. I'd also like to know the backgrounds of the children studied. Complete strangers may well take better care of kids whose own relatives are illiterate drug abusers.
Eventually, women will be required to decant the contents of their uteri into state-controlled infant farms. Hello, Brave New World.
Correlation is not causation.
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