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IT'S ONLY FUNNY UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES A PIE(Ann Coulter)
AnnCoulter.com ^ | April 13, 2005 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 04/13/2005 4:18:34 PM PDT by perfect stranger

Liberals enjoy claiming that they are intellectuals, thrilled to engage in a battle of wits. This, they believe, distinguishes them from conservatives, who are religious fanatics who react with impotent rage to opposing ideas. As one liberal, Jonathan Chait, put the cliche in The New Republic: Bush is an "instinctive anti-intellectual" and his administration hostile to "fact-driven debate." In a favorable contrast, Clinton is "the former Rhodes scholar who relished academic debates." Showing his usual reverence for fact-checking, The New York Times' Paul Krugman says the Republican Party is "dominated by people who believe truth should be determined by revelation, not research."

I'm not sure how these descriptions square with the fact that liberals keep responding to conservative ideas by throwing food. (Remember the good old days when liberals' "fact-driven" ideas only meant throwing money at their problems?)

Last October, two liberals responded to my speech at the University of Arizona — during question and answer, no less — by charging the stage and throwing two pies at me from a few yards away. Fortunately for me, liberals not only argue like liberals, they also throw like girls. (Apologies in advance to the Harvard biology professors who walked out on Larry Summers in a demonstration of their admiration of "research," not "revelation" — but this may account for the dearth of female pitchers in Major League Baseball.)

Unfortunately for them, Republican men don't react favorably to two "Deliverance" boys trying to sucker-punch a 110-pound female in a skirt and heels. The geniuses ended up with bloody noses and broken bones.

It's really outrageous how conservatives respond to liberals who are just trying to engage in a "fact-driven debate." How typical of Republicans to go on the offensive just because a female has been physically attacked. Instead of capturing and subduing my attackers, those strong Republican men should have been trying to understand why they threw the pies.

In the five months following the liberal ass-whupping in Arizona — I mean "fact-driven debate" — all was quiet on the Eastern Front. College liberals still couldn't formulate a coherent argument, but they seemed to want to avoid ending up in jail having to explain to their cellmates that they were in for trying to hit a girl (and missing).

Then on March 19, all charges were dismissed against the "Deliverance" boys — including a felony charge for $3,000 worth of damage to school property. Inexplicably, this outcome did not instantly lead to widespread rioting and looting in South Central Los Angeles.

Democrat Barbara LaWall is the Pima County attorney who allowed the liberal debate champions to walk. LaWall brags on her Web site about "holding criminals accountable." She didn't say anything about liberals, however. Be forewarned, conservatives: Do not expect the law to protect you in Pima County.

In the three weeks following the dismissal of all charges against my attackers, three more conservatives were attacked on college campuses.

On March 29, liberals' intellectual retort to a speech by William Kristol at Earlham College was to throw a pie. On March 31, liberals enjoyed the hurly-burly of political debate with Pat Buchanan at Western Michigan University by throwing salad dressing. On April 6, liberals engaged David Horowitz on his ideas at Butler University by throwing a pie at him.

If you close your eyes, it's almost like you're listening to Ludwig Wittgenstein!

If there had been that many attacks on Muslims in the weeks following the 9/11 attack, we'd still be watching Showtime specials about it. (In liberals' defense, this is what they must resort to when there are no student newspapers with conservative editorials to burn.)

At the risk of provoking one of those brainy liberals to throw more food, here's an idea: In order to reduce physical assaults on conservative speakers, maybe we should increase the price. But, to the contrary, when conservative speakers are physically attacked on college campuses, university administrators ignore the attacks, Democrat prosecutors somehow manage to get the charges dismissed, and Democrat flacks like Chait and Krugman pretend they missed the news that day.

What might work better is some form of disincentive to liberals who engage in violent behavior whenever they hear an idea they don't like but can't come up with words to dispute. The punishment doesn't have to be severe — just a small fraction of the wailing and healing that occurs every time there's a hoax "hate crime" on a college campus. (But which still serve a valuable function by calling attention to the issue of hate crimes.)

Last year, classes were canceled and demonstrations held at Claremont College after a white, Catholic visiting professor claimed her car had been vandalized with racist and anti-Semitic slurs. This — at the very moment she was giving a talk on intolerance!

It was just a little too ironic. The incident had all the exquisite timing of an "ABC After-School Special" about hate crimes. But as one student angrily told the Los Angeles Times, the suggestion that it was a hoax is "so sick. They are in denial. People don't want to accept that a well-educated, liberal community can have hate." Needless to say, the vandalism turned out to have been perpetrated by the professor herself.

Or maybe physical attacks on conservatives could merit a small slice of the rage and indignation directed at the display of racist symbols. Last year, a white student at a high school in Washington State was accused of taunting a black student with a noose. In response, the white student was immediately expelled from school. He was charged with a felony. There was a series of town-wide discussions. The U.S. Justice Department sent in mediators. And two more years were suddenly added to Whoopi Goldberg's career.

I think Kristol, Buchanan, Horowitz and I would be perfectly happy if college liberals merely brandished symbols at us. Speaking for myself, I would be unhappy if they didn't. But these Rhodes scholar geniuses with a taste for "fact-driven debate" can't even achieve the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent. They're still stuck at the intellectual level of 2-year-olds in high chairs throwing food.

COPYRIGHT 2005 ANN COULTER


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: academicbias; academicviolence; anncoulter; buchanan; campusbias; collegebias; culturewars; girliemen; horowitz; kristol; lefties; liberals; pie; universitybias
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To: perfect stranger

bump for future reading


81 posted on 04/13/2005 6:17:32 PM PDT by NeoCaveman ("It's time for the constitutional option Senator Frist" route-82.blogspot.com)
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To: tet68
[ I think Ann should keep a pie in the podium and if it happens again, nail the thrower. Show them the same respect... ]

Better a paint ball gun... Scare em and paint them all at once.. RED paint would only increase the Shootin'irony..

82 posted on 04/13/2005 6:23:59 PM PDT by hosepipe (This Propaganda has been edited to include not a small amount of Hyperbole..)
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To: speedy
.... I think Helen Thomas would be perfectly highlighted with some Beef Wellington dripping off of that schnozz....

Far too upper crust for her.

I vote Dog Food.

83 posted on 04/13/2005 6:24:26 PM PDT by Bullish
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To: JillValentine
Way to go Jill that was some great stuff, nothing like really exposing a cheap-shotter.
84 posted on 04/13/2005 6:24:54 PM PDT by rodguy911 (rodguy911:First Let's get rid of the UN and the ACLU,..toss in CAIR as well.)
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To: perfect stranger

At 110 pounds, Ann could use the pie.


85 posted on 04/13/2005 6:25:17 PM PDT by shellshocked (They're undocumented Border Patrol agents, not vigilantes.)
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To: shellshocked

bttt


86 posted on 04/13/2005 6:27:29 PM PDT by ConservativeMan55 (DON'T FIRE UNTIL YOU SEE THE WHITES OF THE CURTAINS THEY ARE WEARING ON THEIR HEADS !)
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To: perfect stranger
Needless to say, the vandalism turned out to have been perpetrated by the professor herself.

The lamestream press considers these liberal hoaxes to be 'fake but accurate'.

87 posted on 04/13/2005 6:30:09 PM PDT by Vision Thing (The Surgeon General has determined that being Democrat is bad for your health.)
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To: WinOne4TheGipper
Liberals are proud of their actions. The DUmmies are calling it a "revolution".

You have a link? I don't relish having to search over there as I've not time to take the requisite post-DU exposure cleansing shower.

88 posted on 04/13/2005 6:30:52 PM PDT by Plutarch
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To: Freder Frederson

I find it interesting that the vast majority of these types of incidents are perpetrated by people of, ahem, the Leftist persuasion. Their frustration shows.

The dilemma the liberals face is that they either have a discourse and risk having their intellectual clothes removed in public, or they refuse to engage in discourse and appear silly and irrelevant.

This was illustrated best by the interview between John O'Neill and Lawrence O'Donnell on MSNBC. John O'Neill stuck to the facts, kept a reasonable tone of voice and didn't resort to ad hominem attacks. The truth has an uncanny way of unsettling those who take the side of an issue they know they cannot win, because it is not the truth. If you are interested, you can see it on my web page at: http://homepage.mac.com/rlmorel/iMovieTheater49.html

This illustrates the behavior we see emanating from the Left, ranging from pie throwing and verbal abuse (as shown in the video) to vandalism (as in the case of the vandalized Republican vans on election day)


89 posted on 04/13/2005 6:31:58 PM PDT by rlmorel
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To: bray
YOU ROCK!!!!
90 posted on 04/13/2005 6:34:21 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: jwalsh07

I'd pay good money to see that....


91 posted on 04/13/2005 6:36:05 PM PDT by lilmsdangrus (hard work musta hurt somebody, somewhere....)
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To: Hank Rearden
Translate, please; I don't speak ghetto-trash dialect.

Okay. Ms. Ann Coulter should have taken a concerted and physical stand on the pastry-holding assailant using her right hand to inflict significant yet nonlethal pain in the perpetrator's facial region.

Now for "ghetto-trash". Pucker up and kiss my ass.

Mmmmkay?


92 posted on 04/13/2005 6:37:29 PM PDT by rdb3 (To the world, you're one person. To one person, you may be the world.)
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To: perfect stranger

Great piece. She can tear into someone like no one else.


93 posted on 04/13/2005 6:39:01 PM PDT by July 4th (A vacant lot cancelled out my vote for Bush.)
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To: Hodar
'The geniuses ended up with bloody noses and broken bones."

Made my day too - YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

94 posted on 04/13/2005 6:39:18 PM PDT by Enterprise (Abortion and "euthanasia" - the twin destroyers of the Democrat Party.)
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To: ken21

As a 38 year resident, I have to agree that there are a lot of leftist idiots around, but I'm encouraged by the many W bumper stickers around. The Red star does it's best to indoctrinate, but many are open to the many sources of info available today. Hey, we have a Rino mayor and counsel. That's actually amazing when you think about it Then again, we also have McCain and Napolitano. I'll shut up now.


95 posted on 04/13/2005 6:39:25 PM PDT by az wildkitten
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To: perfect stranger
This answers the age old Stooge question: Who threw those pies?
96 posted on 04/13/2005 6:40:30 PM PDT by Ukiapah Heep (Shoes for Industry!)
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To: rdb3

Hey, thanks for clearing that up for us!! :-)


97 posted on 04/13/2005 6:41:21 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1
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To: rdb3
Okay. Ms. Ann Coulter should have taken a concerted and physical stand on the pastry-holding assailant using her right hand to inflict significant yet nonlethal pain in the perpetrator's facial region.

See? Civilization really isn't all that difficult to master.

98 posted on 04/13/2005 6:42:39 PM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: perfect stranger

bttt


99 posted on 04/13/2005 6:45:03 PM PDT by knews_hound (Out of the NIC ,into the Router, out to the Cloud....Nothing but 'Net)
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To: John Lenin
Nobody throws pies at my daughter......

Yes, they is real automatic weapons. Of course Cambodia has somewhat less restrictive gun laws (serious sarcasm)


100 posted on 04/13/2005 6:45:13 PM PDT by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60's.....you weren't really there.)
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