Raise a toast to marital bliss, and its price tag of $26,000

Kansas City Star ^ | 4/10/05 | Lisa Gutierrez and Jenee Osterheldt

[Phantom Lord]

Oh and there is always someone who has a cousin who has a friend who knows a girl who has a neighbor whose sister in-law can sew and will make your bridesmaid dresses for next to nothing. ;-)

The dress shop where my wife got the bridesmaids dresses was run by a husband and wife. After the initial order for the dresses (including the wedding dress) were place, the husband died. The wife, clearly not up to speed on how the business was run was unable to operate the business and everything got screwed up. In the end the wedding dress ended up as ordered but the bridesmaids dresses had to be changed and all were given a hefty discount.

[HamiltonJay]

I like rubies better than diamonds, and it's also my birthstone!

Well don't let everyone know this, but Rubies are actually rarer than Diamonds. DeBeer's et al have the greatest scam running when it comes to Diamonds. Many other stones are far rarer (emeralds, rubies, etc)... but since a few small companies control supply, folks actually think Diamond's are rare.. when they are relatively speaking a rather common stone.

[retrokitten]

Sounds like you guys really made out!

[Phantom Lord]

I like rubies better than diamonds, and it's also my birthstone!

My wifes engagement ring is a Ruby ring.

[Petronski]

Sounds like you guys really made out!

Leave their honeymoon out of this. LOL

[HairOfTheDog]

They may be morons for other reasons... but the really big weddings I've been to are weddings by grown up professional people who have money.

[retrokitten]

It's hard to get a good quality ruby at an affordable price, too. So many of them at chain jewelry stores are either clouded or lab created. Emeralds, too.

[HamiltonJay]

Not in the hole when you consider that my wifes mother paid for her dress and rehersal dinner. My parents kicked in a sizable amount of cash toward the costs and paid for our honeymoon. $20K was the total expense for the whole ball of wax. Not what we paid out of pocket.

Parents enabling overspending... yea, good job. Sorry, take 15k stick it in a mutual fund and have a nice wedding for a few K... Your retirement is now secure (assuming you married in your 20's even if you never put another dime of contribution into the account)...

[retrokitten]

LOL! It's just what I heard. ;-)

[HamiltonJay]

Really big weddings by professionals are not the "AVERAGE".. 26k is the AVERAGE.... Yes, you are paying 20k for a wedding when your 24 and don't have a dime to your name.... even if you are 30 and don't ahve a dime to your name.. you are just nuts.

Of the gawdy weddings I've been too, nearly all of them have been 20somethings without much of anything to there names. They wind up starting out their life together with a nice debt for a one day party... morons.

[Phantom Lord]

Parents enabling overspending... yea, good job.

Well, being that you know neither the financial position of my parents, nor my wife and I, I will just leave this comment alone.

[Wolfie]

So much effort in planning the wedding. So little in planning the marriage.

[HairOfTheDog]

It isn't in my personality to have such an affair, I'm not sure why I'm arguing with you about it... I just don't think the cost is the biggest problem in weddings I've been at... They're by people with good money and daddy pays for most of it unless it is not their first one or the bride is in her upper thirties.

My biggest complaint is that they aren't any fun to be at and the bride imposes all kinds of tiresome duties on her best friends instead of letting them all have a good time.

[k2blader]

I think it's nuts too, especially if they go into debt.

[blabs]

I spent $25k on my wedding and loved every minute of it. We took a 4 day cruise to the bahamas with 50 people, had a beautiful garden cerimony on Paradise Island, rented a private restaurant for the reception, and topped it off with a 15 day honeymoon in Hawaii, Oahu, Maui, and Kauai. Everyone paid for their own cruise and airfare (which totaled about $600) and we flipped the bill for every other detail. Put all of it on credit cards too (ooohh, watch the fireworks start on this topic). Any regrets? Heck no!! Best wedding I've ever been too (comments from all the guests and my own opinion). We partied our assess off!!

Money is not everything in life. Live a little. You could be run over by a bus tomorrow! You could throw your $25K in a house and it could burn to the ground! You could save money all of your life and die the day you retire! Live each day to it's fullest because you are not guaranteed a tomorrow.

Debt is a two-edged sword. If you learn to wield it properly, it can be a powerful tool, but it can also cut you when you swing it wildly. We're all in debt to someone or something, one way or another, and probably always will be. Learn to Balance your debt with savings, investments, and wise spending, and you will lead a more fuller and less stressfull life.

Talk to some of the "fun" people who have no debt. I can say I've only know one person who is almost debt free, and he is a tight ass, always scrimping over every penny, constantly worrying about his glorious retirement, and about as interesting and fun as a leather boot. No thanks!

I'd do it all over again, credit cards and all, because it was pure pleasure and a memory that will live with us forever. The experience was worth much more than the $25k we spent, and my wife is worth more than all the money in the world.

[ken5050]

Going to chime in here, as one who has married off two daughters in the last three years..Cost factor is relative to where you live, your income, and what you are comfortable with..and it's not fair to judge people otherwise..some of the comments smack of the "class warfare" we loathe when Dems/libs employ it....

I can add that the best way to keep the cost down is to belong to a church with a small seating capacity..ours is 125 or so..when we got the preliminary invite list from our newest son-in-law...HIS family's list was over 200..It didn't happen..

I would like to see a federal law passed banning videotaping of weddings..It's horrid..a distraction, annoyance, and just plain awful...I've been to weddings whwre the couple,a nd the bride's family, seem MORE interested on having a nice video and pics, rather than enjoying the wedding, and the reception...

Still photographs are nice momentos..but you have to tell the photographer when enough is enough...the wedding is NOT being run for his convenience..

[jwfiv]

I didn't notice this thread, and might not have caught it's deeper meaning, re: the myths of love, if you hadn't pinged me ... good catch.

Interesting article, too ... coming after being at the wedding in Ireland.

[teenyelliott]

When my mother called and asked what style of font I wanted on my invitations, I freaked out.

I do not have the patience for silly details like that, especially when it is just a colossal waste of money. I never wanted a wedding, but my mom wanted me to have one. After that question, I told her her backyard, or I was eloping. I won.

[the OlLine Rebel]

Mine's probably costing at least that much, and we're getting married sooner in Baltimore, too.


I didn't want to go much above 120 guests (room minimum), but mom and sister both mentioned it to a few of *their* friends, then mom insisted on inviting others, esp dad's old co-worker friends (before I had invited much of any1 outside my entire family - which is big, + my fiance's). So we may well be paying for 180 people. Had to cut out alot of kids (I like to have them, but there were just too many).

We're going more on the "expensive" route, but I like the place alot. It has class and along w/the great band (yes, they're great, not just some 80s-hair band), people should have *another* great event of our family's (we're rather famous for great parties) to really party at.

Some here said "that's not what it's all about". But look at it this way. Not only do I want to make it obvious that I & my wonderful fiance are getting married, but I love to have a good time and I love for the people to have a great party to attend. Sure it has nothing to do w/the marriage, but what the hell? Why not have a party?

BTW, while we much prefer to save money, we're not blowing any mortgage. My fiance and I are older, have had high-paying jobs for years, and I only just bought a house last year - having mostly lived w/my parents all prior (great savings!).

Also, I'm using my sister's dress, and my cousin is playing organ/piano at church and getting us a singer. We keep trying to save, but yes, it's sorta hard when you want a NICE FUN party for people. (And I've been to plenty of BORING CRAP.)