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To: rwfromkansas
Presenting yourself as a sexual being just means don't strip yourself of your sexual identity. To me it means maintain your masculinity, don't apologize nor camouflage it.

You are a man and when you approach her, your interest is respectful but sexual - nice guys think they can't be both. They are wrong.

That's not a license to be rude, crude, or foul mouthed. I'm a masculine male, for example, but I am not profane at all.

A lot of guys who try to be 'nice' do so by making themselves sexually nonthreatening - that is, nonsexual beings. A woman will not have a sexual attraction to a man who has stripped himself of his sexual identity.

So for example, some masculine traits are confidence, self assurance, a sense of humor (including being mildly self deprecating at times), having goals and achieving them, and having a dominant personality (not to be confused with being domineering).

[Note that none of these traits are exclusively masculine.]

Also realize that women often test a man's strength of character. For example, they might make a date with you only to cancel it 2 hours before the meeting time. Sometimes this is legit and unavoildable, but often the woman is just testing your mettle:

a. Do you just fold like a house of cards and say 'OK, OK' and wind up apologizing to her? You flunked the test - she looks for strength in a companion - if you won't stand up to her, she figures you won't stand up to anybody.

b. Do you whine, bitch, and complain? You flunked the test - she expects that from the girly girls in her life: she won't get a sexual spark from a man who whines about her canceling the date.

c. Do you fly off the handle, yell, holler, and make a lot of noise? Odds are you will flunk the test, too - overreacting isn't somethinmg women like, either. (That being said, some women will like this as it gets a rise out of you, so you may get partial credit).

d. Do you quietly call her on her bs and remind her that she is flaking on you and being disrespectful - basic decency and respect mandate that if you have an appointment, 24 hour notice is reasonable advance time to cancel. Firmly remind her not to do it again, or otherwise respect your 24 hour rule, which is fair & reasonable. Remind her that you would extend the same courtesy to anyone, and that reasonable notice would give you the flexibility to make other plans (women are intrigued by men with other plans, by the way).

Don't overreact, don't under react. Be firm, strong, but fair. Give her an opportunity to make it up to you. If she blows it, her loss. Move on.

That's probably the best response to this (very common) hypothetical.
409 posted on 04/13/2005 2:14:04 AM PDT by HitmanLV
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To: HitmanNY
Also realize that women often test a man's strength of character. For example, they might make a date with you only to cancel it 2 hours before the meeting time. Sometimes this is legit and unavoildable, but often the woman is just testing your mettle:

No offense, but why would you want to even mess around with someone who would play a silly game like that? I would never have canceled a date with someone two hours beforehand unless something REALLY had come up, and I would have some kind of alternative in mind, if possible. Cheap manipulation to "test" someone like that is just wrong, imo, and someone like that should be avoided. Even stuff happens on it's own to give you a feel for a person's "mettle"...you don't have to manufacture something. Just my two cents. :)

418 posted on 04/13/2005 5:37:15 AM PDT by exnavychick (There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart?)
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