Donate Here By Secure Server
Or use PayPal and send to: jimrob@psnw.com
Or mail your donations to:
Free Republic, LLC
PO Box 9771
Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you all very much!!
| Free Republic 3rd Qtr 2024 Fundraising Target: $81,000 | Receipts & Pledges to-date: $35,805 | |||
| ||||
| Woo hoo!! And we're now over 44%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless. | ||||
Posted on 04/05/2005 2:05:00 AM PDT by Mo1
Or use PayPal and send to: jimrob@psnw.com
Or mail your donations to:
Free Republic, LLC
PO Box 9771
Fresno, CA 93794
Thank you all very much!!
Good.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify Me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
No, I didn't -- but, it looks like an extremely dangerous job.
A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responds, "Yes,that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith. The rabbi nodded understandingly.
He was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, "Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
Very windy.
Messed up the Html
Leftwing Loonies (Sung to Oh Suzanna)
I’m sick of being sick and tired,
Yes something has to give.
It could not be my lifestyle,
You know the way I live.
So if I say, “I’m sick and tired”,
Please take it with a grain.
I’m really only sick and tired,
Of folks without a brain.
Leftwing loonies destroying all we see,
Someone has to stop them now,
I guess that’s you and me.
The democrats, the lib’ral press,
The folks in Hollywood.
They really want to wreck this land,
These folks aren’t up to good.
Don’t vote for dems, they mean you harm,
Don’t buy the New York Times.
Don’t go to see the movie show,
Please don’t support these slimes.
Leftwing loonies destroying all we see,
Someone has to stop them now,
I guess that’s you and me.
You see they need your money to,
Continue their crusade.
Let’s cut them off and then we’ll see,
The idiot’s parade.
They’ll whine and squeal that we aren’t fair,
That we have censored speech.
No they can say what they will say,
But they aren’t out of reach.
The reach of Free America,
To say enough’s, enough.
They’ll find that down here on the ground,
Life can sure be tough.
Leftwing loonies destroying all we see,
Someone has to stop them now,
I guess that’s you and me.
Conspiracy Guy aka DIF 11/4/03
INVESTMENT PLAN
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc. Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state. Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate down sizing and it's effects on a 50 year old executive.
Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 30 years totalling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing across the parking lot, she gestured toward the local bank while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, and this was the result of her investments.
By now he was very distraught and beating his head against the side of the car. She asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!
Men have no idea when to keep their mouth shut
Btw, I'm also a member of the tag line protection association.
Additionally, TagLines R US funds a home for unwanted or abused tag lines.
We also provide instruction for young tag lines just getting their start in life here at FR as well as facilities for older tag lines.
(Betcha didn't know that)
Your welcome here's another one and I'll send a few more bucks with it :)
That's great!!!
LOL
I see that your papers are forged. I have now reported you to Homeland Security. Expect an nasty letter soon!
Thanks.
Your welcome !!!!! I will add a little more by the end of the week :-)
Also, I just noticed that when I went back to thread where I saw it, it has been replaced by a new picture -- and the picture is being continuously rotated. Who is setting up these automatic posts with automatically changing pictures?
That's just the android. He's only activated during the FReepathons. Glock rocks gives him beer. That's all I know. Honest.
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner. He locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is the street so deserted? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.