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A spanking way to be happy
This is LONDON London Cuts section ^ | 03/30/05 | By Metro

Posted on 03/30/2005 11:42:45 AM PST by b4its2late

It may sound a bit kinky but everything from depression to alcoholism can be cured with a beating on the bare bottom, scientists claim.

Spanking is more effective than exercise at keeping the blues at bay, say Russian researchers who carried out tests on caning.

They recommend that people receive 30 weekly sessions of 60 of the best. High levels of pain make the body produce endorphins or 'happy chemicals' and this leads to feelings of euphoria.

Endorphins also boost the immune system, release sex hormones and reduce appetite.

Dr Sergei Speransky, who now charges patients £57 for treatment at Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine, said: 'The treatment works. I'm not sadistic, at least not in the classical sense, but I do advocate caning.'


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: exercise; spank; spanking
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To: Fintan

LOL. I think you've posted that pic before... LOL...


61 posted on 03/30/2005 12:18:15 PM PST by b4its2late (It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.)
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To: P8riot

Nice. But what do they do with the cucumbers?


62 posted on 03/30/2005 12:18:33 PM PST by teenyelliott (Soylent green is made of liberals...)
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To: Miss Behave
Happiness machine

63 posted on 03/30/2005 12:18:59 PM PST by evets (God bless President Bush and VP Cheney)
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To: b4its2late

I don't remember ever gushing with happiness when my old man whacked me, and I'd be a damn sight less happy if anyone tried it today.

My vote - based on my admittedly anecdotal experience - is to let whoever came up with this idea go back to the drawing board.


64 posted on 03/30/2005 12:20:30 PM PST by Marauder (But your honor, the bed was already on fire when I crawled into it!)
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To: Bella_Bru

To quote Family Guy: "The Safe Word is 'banana'"


65 posted on 03/30/2005 12:21:22 PM PST by Modernman ("I'm in favor of limited government unless it limits what I want government to do."- dirtboy)
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To: b4its2late

whooo-boy...


66 posted on 03/30/2005 12:21:53 PM PST by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: evets
All in the privacy of your own home...with no need for someone else to administer.

Me LIKE it, evets. :-)

67 posted on 03/30/2005 12:22:21 PM PST by Miss Behave (Beloved daughter of Miss Creant, super sister of danged Miss Ology, and proud mother of Miss Hap.)
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To: philman_36

Just dang, many years ago I was working in a drug rehab center. I was working midnights and I get a phone call from a possible patient. He wanted to know if we gave spankings as part of treatment. I told him ''no''. He continued to state he really needed to be spanked. I told him ''not by me you're not.''
I thought he was just a perv, now I know he was just ahead of his times.


68 posted on 03/30/2005 12:23:05 PM PST by LauraJean (sometimes I win sometimes I donate to the equine benevolent society)
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To: philman_36
"Note how one article has him as a sadist and the other has him as a masochist."

A masochist would be on the receiving end of the good doctor's treatments. Since he is not, he is definitely a sadist, not a masochist.
69 posted on 03/30/2005 12:23:29 PM PST by monday
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To: b4its2late

Excercise helps too!


70 posted on 03/30/2005 12:24:43 PM PST by mlmr (The Culture of Death will get a lot more deadly before it's done.)
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To: Miss Behave

lol...


71 posted on 03/30/2005 12:25:03 PM PST by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: philman_36
"Whip me! Spank me!" says the masochist.
"No" says the sadist.
72 posted on 03/30/2005 12:26:24 PM PST by TheBigB ("She's the kind of girl you bring home to Mother... if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker.")
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To: AFPhys

;-)


73 posted on 03/30/2005 12:26:33 PM PST by Miss Behave (Beloved daughter of Miss Creant, super sister of danged Miss Ology, and proud mother of Miss Hap.)
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To: Jaysun
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
74 posted on 03/30/2005 12:27:53 PM PST by b4its2late (It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.)
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To: Neets
Come on over and get in on this....
75 posted on 03/30/2005 12:30:09 PM PST by b4its2late (It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.)
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To: philman_36
As I said the other day...He's not a "classic" masochist, he's a "New Age" masochist. Note how one article has him as a sadist and the other has him as a masochist.

Clearly a "switch" hitter ... literally

76 posted on 03/30/2005 12:30:12 PM PST by GoldCountryRedneck (The Flogging Will Continue Until Morale Improves)
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To: LauraJean; ariamne

Articles like this are simply way, way beyond my meager imagination. My quite modest experience with spanking (my parents threatened far more than they had to carry it out, and I've found that works for my daughter, too) suggests that there is no way spanking produces happiness. It does enhance respect for parents, though, properly applied.

Of course, other such nutty concepts as licking a toad to get high, and general craziness of that order to secure happiness have escaped me, too.


77 posted on 03/30/2005 12:31:20 PM PST by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: kahoutek

LMAO!


78 posted on 03/30/2005 12:33:25 PM PST by reagansgirl
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To: kahoutek

LMAO!


79 posted on 03/30/2005 12:33:30 PM PST by reagansgirl
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To: af_vet_1981
"...now charges patients £57 for treatment...."

Gee.. best I'd to print up the business cards and go Pro!!

80 posted on 03/30/2005 12:34:24 PM PST by GoldCountryRedneck (The Flogging Will Continue Until Morale Improves)
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