I wonder the same thing. A lot of the girls I know who've made the same choice I have - chastity until after the wedding, thanks - seem to have a pretty defeatist attitude about finding a guy who's got the same principles. I don't want to spend years waiting and remaining pure, only to have my husband pass on a gift from one of his ex-lovers. Or be secretly thinking I'm not as hot as he girl he knew freshman year of college.
It's not an impossible thing I'm asking - and since I really like geeks, I've got a better chance of ending up with someone who hasn't been sowing all that many oats. But the double standard seems really weird to me. My parents always expected the same of my brothers as they did of me and my sisters; but a lot of people don't see it that way.
"I don't want to spend years waiting and remaining pure, only to have my husband pass on a gift from one of his ex-lovers.
It's a concern but you shouldn't base a decision like marriage on this possibility. Seriously, what are you going to do? A sexual background check on this person you've fallen in love with?
"Or be secretly thinking I'm not as hot as he girl he knew freshman year of college."
This is a concern too but if he asks you to marry him, chances are he loves you. On the other hand, don't expect your man to give up fantsy after marriage. That's unrealistic.
From the article:
A federal government survey of 4,600 college students found that slightly more male than female undergrads are virgins.
The guys are out there. Just a couple of weeks ago there was a sad letter to Dear Abby from an 18-yo Christian college boy in Arizona who was already despairing of staying chaste because he couldn't find a girl who would stay with him for more than two weeks (!!!) unless he'd sleep with her.
(Sheesh ... I wasn't even dating at 18 !?!)
The men are out there ... you just have to find them, and them you. But you might have to make it happen, not just wait for it to happen. I wish you and your friends all kinds of good luck.
Listen to the parents who raised you, not fools.
I like your parents already.