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He always knew, but he married and fathered a child despite it?
This is the part that bothers me. I think some (a very few) people are truly born different. Maybe you are a woman in a man's body. But for cryin' out loud, don't go ruining everyone else's life by getting married and having kids who now have to deal w/your personal issues.
Either get the operation before you bring other people into your mess or consider the life of the single, celibate, person as an honorable calling.