"A better way is to create a separate IRA or 401K account, contribute to it while single, then stop contributing completely before being married... then it will grow and it is never commingled into the assets."
Are you sure about that? Depending on what state you live in,even if you stopped contributions, I think the spouse is entitled to one half of the amount the account increased from the date of marriage to the date of divorce.
The spouse gets 1/2 the increase in value during the divorce as a barganing point.
A qualified divorce resolution order (QDRO) generally sets the disolution of marriage value.
I think most of the nest egg planning is to have cash on hand for the divorce proceedings. This allows the man, who usually is booted out of the house to be able to find a place to stay, and retain a lawyer.
I sympathize with those who say this is preparing for the worst without working for the best, but I think it is not unwarrented to take these steps.
Why should any man wait to marry to buy a house, start retirement plans, or have cash on hand. If it was women we were talking about, there would be no "debate".