Posted on 03/16/2005 3:28:28 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece
The high percentage of marriages that end in divorce has created a new trend; many men are planning financially for their divorce before they even get married.
A recent survey conducted by the Indiana Family Institute (IFI) found that 79% of men who are engaged to be married worry that their marriage will end in divorce and they will be ruined financially. As a result, more than half of these men admitted to setting up secret nest eggs in case their fears become reality.
“Some people believe this is the height of pessimism, but to me it makes perfect sense,” says Dr. Phillip Haus, director of the study, “Many of these men are professionals who have worked hard for their success and don’t want to start from scratch if the woman they marry turns out to be a total witch to live with.”
Haus says the most common way engaged men plan for the worst is by setting up a savings account in the name of a relative they trust who has had a long, sound marriage so their funds will be safe. This way once the joint assets are divided after a divorce, they will have a little something extra to fall back on.
“Let’s face it,” added Haus, “The man is the one who almost always get screwed over when a divorce occurs. Even though he usually made more money than the woman in the marriage, he loses the house, and ends up paying child support since the woman will get custody of their offspring. This new trend just provides him with a little insurance so he can enjoy a decent standard of living.”
Some men go to even greater lengths to secure their futures. “We had a few cases where engaged men told us they gave a good portion of their belongings to friends or relatives for safe keeping. One man admitted buying a house in his gay cousin’s name so he would have a place to live if things didn’t work out. This shows the sad state of relationships and the impact of divorce in this country.”
Haus believes the trend of setting up divorce nest eggs will continue. “As long as there is divorce, there will be people trying to beat the system.”
However, there are many women out there that pounce and shred a man to pieces financially once they've 'lost that loving feeling' and the courts are set up to let them do it. In NC, an unfaithful wife is pretty much immune to any repercussions in court from a financial standpoint due to infidelity. However, a man is held to a completely different set of rules which almost always means bankruptcy, especially when children are involved.
Because of the lack of fairness in the courts, men are being forced to 'protect' themselves from hateful and mean-spirited spouses seeking divorce; or else, never get married. I know several men who have elected to 'get-clipped' after 1 or 2 children and are in their late 30's.
I have to agree with some of the responses, that current law can allow a woman to make a career out of being married several times. They are legally able to build a nice income for themselves and obtain assets they didn't pay for as a result.
My boss's brother was arrested 5 weeks ago for $600 back child support after his ex 'forgot' to report to the courts that she had received $1000 from him in cash 5 days prior to his arrest (which he had a receipt) after only being late for 6 weeks. My boss had to wire $1300 to bail him out and pay the courts then on a Sunday night. His brother still made it to his job the next day (long haul trucker and prior 1991 Gulf war vet with the 101st that spanked the Republican guard and received a purple heart).
OK, with all that said, the way I see it too, the system is way the hell off track.
Are you kidding? Pre-nups are about money. "Honey, I love you and want to spend my life with you. I just don't trust you, so I'm going to keep this account away from you so you can't touch it."
There's no reason to be livid.
A marriage is a business deal.
You can deny it, but it is a fact.
This makes 100% good business sense.
The first step is entering a business partnership is to plan for the break-up.
I'm currently being courted by an investor who is willing to fund my business to the tune of over $200,000.00. One of the first things I'll discuss with him is what to do in the event of a break-up.
To let silly emotions get in the way of a business deal is foolish.
You should also plan for a possible break-up of your marriage. There is nothing cynical about it.
It will be 34 years for us come april 23rd.
I was always told to make sure you meet and like the girl's mother....cause that's what you are going to be living and sleeping with 20 years down the road!!
This makes 100% good business sense.
The first step is entering a business partnership is to plan for the break-up.
Well said. Words of wisdom.
Gee. Maybe she shouldn't get a divorce if it is that hard on her.
Perhaps you shouldn't get married again if you don't trust your future spouse.
Do you need a document to show love? IMO, this is pretty sad.
That is a business plan for divorce. You are setting your self up. Instead of spending all your energy on the possibility of divorce, try to get to know your future spouse, and maybe you won't have to worry about a "corporate restructuring."
People get divorced because they think they've reached the end of the road and it couldn't possibly get any worse. In my experience, it can always get worse. And frequently does.
Why not do both?
question:
say a parent sets up a trust fund for their child as beneficiary and when they are old enough they can administer it as well. the child gets married and some time later gets divorced. Does the other spouse get half the trust fund? I mean isn't that how the wealthy protect their estates for their children.
FOREIGN WOMEN ROCK!!!
So now you tell me. Well crap.
How can you support yourself when they take it all?
My sister married a Iranian man. They separated. A little later, she discovered he went out and bought a house. The courts backed him up and said she had no claim to that house. They were still married at the time. He left her penniless and homeless.
If you have a lot of assets going in and/or you've been through a divorce and understand that love doesn't always last forever, then I can understand how you might want a little more reassurance.
I'm not saying that you're wrong...only that there are different points of view that are equally valid. How valid those points of view are depends on where you're standing. To some, a pre-nup is a way of saying "I love you for you and not for your money."
Start a fund for a lawyer also.
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