Posted on 03/10/2005 2:13:48 PM PST by SwinneySwitch
If Hector David Herrera Martinez had been a better driver, he might not be facing a charge of smuggling bulk currency.
If he hadn't been traveling in a passing lane without passing any cars, if he hadn't abruptly slowed to 40 mph in a 65-mph zone, if he hadn't suddenly pulled off the road, I'm sure nobody would have noticed that stashed in his 1987 Lincoln Town Car was $283,473.
Unfortunately for Martinez, a Kimble County sheriff's deputy took notice and stopped him near Junction.
And that's when Martinez had to explain where he got the money.
Somebody, he told the officer, left it on his doorstep.
I don't know if that somebody was the tooth fairy who couldn't find Martinez's pillow.
I don't know if that somebody was Santa Claus who couldn't find the chimney.
I don't know if that somebody was the Easter Bunny who couldn't find any tall grass.
All I know is that somebody left something on the front porch around Valentine's Day, and it wasn't chocolate.
Last week, a federal grand jury in San Antonio indicted Martinez, and I really feel for the guy.
The last time somebody left a quarter of a million dollars on my doorstep, I made it all the way to the bank without getting thrown in jail. Most people do.
For some reason, though, Martinez found it difficult to calmly transport the gross national product of Bangladesh across Texas. According to the arrest report, he shook. He trembled. Now he's in the clink when he could be living large in a Third World country.
Poor guy. If only he had a little more cool. If only he didn't have so much company.
People who drive oddly draw police attention all the time. Some get stopped for making an improper turn and get busted for possession of cocaine. Others get pulled over for failing to yield, and get charged with carrying stolen goods.
Recently, officers stopped a 36-year-old man they saw going the wrong way on an I-37 access road.
Inside the 2005 Cadillac Escalade of Raul Hernandez, police found DVDs, video games and dozens of wallets and purses. Later, police found computers, printers, scanners, more DVDs and more than $69,000 at Hernandez's home. He told police he made the money by selling illegally reproduced movies.
It should be noted that police had been watching Hernandez. But they didn't pull him over until he began driving like he was nuts.
Tip to readers: If you're driving with suspicious or illegal goods, don't go the wrong way on a one-way street.
That brings me back to Martinez. He wasn't as reckless on the road as Hernandez. But Martinez did make some mistakes.
Here are some lessons to be gleaned from his arrest.
One: If you are in a passing lane with $283,473 in your car, make sure you pass another car.
Two: If an officer pulls you over and asks if he can search your vehicle, do not say "yes" when you've got more money in your trunk than your boss has in the bank.
Three: If a sheriff's deputy asks what's inside your big suitcase, do not say "presents" when there's a safe filled with $100 bills.
Four: If you are asked where you got the cash, do not say "on my doorstep" then change your mind and say "it belongs to my brother" and later sign a statement declaring that you're sticking with your first story.
That raises suspicions.
Five: If asked where you are headed, do not say "El Paso" when you're nowhere near the road that leads there.
Six: If asked where you are from, do not say "Bartlesville, Oklahoma," when you are an undocumented immigrant from Mexico.
Seven: The next time someone leaves 200 grand on your front porch, head for the bank and drive carefully. And if a car with flashing lights pulls you over, come up with a good story.
I-just-won-the-lottery is better than somebody-left-this-on-my-doorstep. It might even keep you out of jail.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To contact Ken Rodriguez, call (210) 250-3369 or e-mail krodriguez@express-news.net. His column appears on Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
I'm a German-Polock-Ukie. Let's keep the original premise going, if possible.
"It is a crime to not understand money when it falls in your lap unexpectedly."
It should be a crime to not understand the concept. I once opened my mailbox to find a letter from a friend that was away visiting in Washington state. I opened the envelope to find two bearer bonds worth $80,000.00 each and a sweet note asking if I would take them to her bank.
As an added incentive, I want to retire on the Isle of Skye- as it seems so much like Kansas. And a ferry-ride and train trip will get me to Edinborough. The people there are like me. Scotch folks are what I want as neighbors.
Please forgive me for that last line. There was no reason for me to be so nasty about it.
You did, didn't you? Charge her a commission of 5% for the successful completion- to be negotiated by trade of services or property. That's what Fat, Old Ben Franklin did years ago between countries.
I think this guy was just talking too much.
He should have kept quiet. Even drug dogs would have come up zero.
Contrary to popular opinion, being an *ssh*l* is suspicious. If nothing else it will earn you a police officer who will do all the i dotting and t crossing to make it very very annoying withing due process as they understand (or think they understand) it.
Look at Martha Stuart, a perfect example of the rewards of being an *ssh*l*.
Texasflower, I am sure you can teach young skulls full of mush with accuracy. Just make them show respect while you are speaking. Let them contest ideas when allowed by you.
I have a friend who works at a bank. According to him, any transaction over $600.00 dollars gets flagged.
On second thought, Put one bond in her bank for a deposit to her account. Create another account with the second under a seperate account for you as insurance under different numbers for "safekeeping". If you decide she had honorable intentions, it's all hers (with your fee). If un-honorable intentions were present, leave the $80K securitiees there for your picking a few weeks or months later.
I guess you didn't see my post at
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1360326/posts?page=44#44
I was mistaken in my tone and I apologized to him for that. That was about 15 minutes before you posted to me.
I'm sure you have seen it by now.
And you rode around in a car and got pulled over by police and you didnt have a legitimate explaination and proof of the transactions? If you were like this guy, with tons of money and no real reasons for it, police would start to wonder. You would have not had anything to worry about.
That shouldn't be too hard.
"Is it a crime to have money?"
Ask Al Capone.
what were you selling to a university that would have brought you that kind of money? Office supplies and bulk foodstuffs would be the only things that I could think would be in that high of a demand.
Yep, you can always say "No", and then the officer suspects you are concealing something illegal, and has cause to search....Right up there with "Have you quit beating your wife yet?"
So that's where I left the money.
Just call the Kimble County Sherrif's office.
See, he's telling the truth. I really did leave it on his doorstep.
It's payment for the Girl Scout Cookies I ordered.
Did they find drugs? So now it's illegal to have too much money? That seems to be the perfect extension of the Democrat philosophy. Goodness knows, if he has too much money, he must be guilty of something! He looked nervous! It's right there in the Constitution, if he looks nervous and has a lot of money, he needs to go to jail. And let the government keep that nasty, dirty, evil money.
Ah, our friend the "patriot" act. Sure seems like a terrorist to me. But I thought the "patriot" act only tossed the Constitution out to catch terrorists? Well, at least they caught an evil money transporter. And kept the money.
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