Aww, c'mon, don't feel guitly - it's FUNNY! Personally, I'm LMAO!
And by the way,
Da-da-dum-dum-dum-dada-dada!
"It's time to leave and get another quart
Around the corner at the liquor store
The cheapest stuff is all I need
To get me back on my feet again"
Da-da-dum-dum-dum-dada-dada!
(chorus)
And if it's on a desert island, he can follow that up with "I drink alone...with his Buddy Weiser, his good pal Johnny Walker with his brother Black and Red, and his Old Granddad."