[Future Useless Eater]

>> Call an ambulance immediately, I think [he's] having a brain hemorrhage.

Better yet, folow Michael Schiavo's example for calling an ambulance 'immediately', for that guy...

In other words, we would call that freeper's next of kin and say "I'm sorry, but your [family member] is dead. Then we would sit down on the couch and read a magazine.

[Mr. Silverback]

In other words, we would call that freeper's next of kin and say "I'm sorry, but your [family member] is dead. Then we would sit down on the couch and read a magazine.

Well, it has the advantage that no one can accuse you of panicking.