Posted on 02/27/2005 4:54:24 AM PST by lizol
Humor Helps Pope Deal With Health Crises
Sat Feb 26, 4:40 PM ET Europe - AP
By JOJI SAKURAI, Associated Press Writer
VATICAN CITY - As Pope John Paul (news - web sites) II struggles with his second health crisis in a month, he is displaying something not usually associated with the dignity and solemnity of his office: a sense of humor.
"What did they do to me?" was the quip Vatican (news - web sites) aides say he scrawled on a piece of paper Friday after he woke up following surgery to ease his breathing problems.
Ahead of the operation, when doctors tried to reassure him that the procedure would be a small one, the reply was: "Small! It depends for whom."
The Vatican has appeared eager to report on John Paul's humorous statements, perhaps as a way to allay concerns about his health or to present the Roman Catholic flock with an example of how to face adversity with grace.
While attired in full papal regalia, John Paul has never hesitated to display warmth, a sly wit, and even a sense of the burlesque. It's all a part of the common touch that has allowed him to connect with the people.
Five years ago, when the pope hosted a group of young pilgrims from Canada at his summer retreat outside of Rome, he delighted his guests by twirling his cane like Charlie Chaplin.
Early on in his papacy, when reporters asked him whether a pope could step down, he replied he would not know where to submit the resignation letter.
In recent years, as his infirmities — which include Parkinson's disease (news - web sites) and crippling hip and knee ailments — have become ever more apparent, he has shown self-deprecating humor.
"So you want a young pope," he once told a group of youths. "Well, I guess I'm a young pope."
John Paul is not the only pontiff to enliven the august role of Bishop of Rome with humor. His predecessor John Paul I, who died after only 33 days in office, was known as the smiling pope, and John XXIII, pontiff between 1958 and 1963, was famous for his sharp wit.
"It often happens that I wake at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the pope about it," John XXIII once said. "Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the pope!"
In an oft-repeated story, John XXIII was a Vatican envoy in Paris when he heard a crash from a bucket falling and a worker cursing, "God damn it!" The future pope approached him and — using a French swear word — said: "Can't you just say `merde' like everyone else?"
John Paul II also has been known to joke about his Polish roots.
During a visit to Poland a year after being elected pope in 1979, John Paul expressed his approval while listening to folk-rock hymns.
"I have a sweet tooth for song and music. This is my Polish sin," he said.
He even inaugurated his tenure with a self-deprecating touch, asking the throngs amassed at St. Peter's Square after his coronation on Oct. 22, 1978, to please correct him if he made any mistakes in Italian.
After the papal address, the crowds continued cheering and would not disperse. John Paul sent them away by saying: "It's time for everyone to eat lunch, even the pope."
John Paul's humor has particularly shone through in times of adversity.
In 1994, when he was convalescing at Rome's Gemelli Polyclinic hospital after hip replacement surgery, the pope reassured the masses from his hospital window: "I've never been so examined in my life, from top to bottom. I didn't even know such organs existed."
As with the current health crisis, the question of whether the pope would be forced to step down was an issue back then. He dealt with the question with humor, joking with his surgeon about the church law that would let him resign if he became incapacitated.
"Doctor, neither you nor I have any choice. You have to cure me because there is no room for a pope emeritus," he said.
The Pope goes to New York.
He is picked up at the airport by a limousine.
He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?"
The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that."
But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope."
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over.
The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window.
Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute.
He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: More.
Chief: Who's more important than the president?
Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope DRIVING for him!
A Cardinal goes into the Pope and says "I have good news and bad news".
The Pope says "What is the good news?"
Cardinal "Christ just called and He has returned to earth to bring peace for 1,00 years"
"Wonderful, now what is the bad news?"
"The call was collect from Salt Lake City".
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