Posted on 02/22/2005 9:53:02 PM PST by freedom44
1: 'Mama' Cass choking on a sandwich When 'Mama' Cass Elliot died in her London flat in 1974 at the age of 32, a hasty postmortem suggested she had choked on her own vomit while chomping a sandwich in bed. At 5' 5" and 240 pounds, it was easy to believe that - like a female version of Monty Python's Mr Creosote - Elliot had simply gambled on one mouthful too many. Not so. The coroner's report after her death concluded that Cass died of massive heart failure, brought on by obesity and the strains of crash dieting. Though a sandwich may well have been found at her bedside, the autopsy revealed no evidence of food in her trachea. Tragically, it appears she died peckish.
2: Marilyn Manson starring in 'The Wonder Years' This fuels every parent's fear that the most innocuous geek-child can go stone bad. Did the young Brian Warner (aka Mr Manson) play Paul Pfeiffer, goofy pal of Kevin Arnold, in the schmaltzy rites-of passage TV show? 'It's kind of irrelevant whether these rumours are true or not,' quoth Manson. Well actually, Marilyn, it's not irrelevant to Josh Saviano, who really did play Paul Pfeiffer.
3: The Beatles' spliff in Buckingham Palace Sometime after our four young heroes bounced into the Palace in October 1965 to receive their MBEs, John Lennon claimed they'd shared a toke in the loos. Not the most reliable witness - he once claimed he wrote 'Eleanor Rigby' - Lennon later 'fessed up, admitting 'we'd have been far too scared to do it'. McCartney, meanwhile, remembers simply having a 'sly ciggie' with the chaps to calm nerves.
4: Keef's blood transfusion Keen to clean up for a European tour, Richards reportedly replaced his poisoned old claret with an infusion of healthy blood in a Swiss clinic in September 1973. In reality, it was probably only haemodialysis, which filters impurities from the bloodstream. 'Someone asked me how I cleaned up, so I said I had my blood completely changed,' Richards said. 'I was fucking sick of answering that question, so I gave them a story.'
5: Stevie Nicks having cocaine blown up her bum It's tempting to believe Fleetwood Mac's queen bee followed her addiction to such deliciously depraved depths - but sadly, untrue. 'That's absurd,' said Nicks in 2001. 'Maybe it came about because people knew I had such a big hole in my nose. Let's put a belt through my nose, because that's how big the hole is.' So she just talks through her arse, then. Maybe.
6: Robert Johnson's pact with the devil Famously, Johnson sold his soul to the devil in order to play guitar like a demon. You want prima facie evidence? How about 'Me and the Devil Blues', and the fact that young Robert was a poor guitarist whose improvement was remarkable. Actually, he used that little known voodoo technique 'practice', and was tutored by a bluesman called Ike Zimmerman. Not Satan.
7: Jacko and the elephant man Reports surfaced in 1987 that Wacko had offered $50,000 for the remains of the Victorian patient Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. The offer may have been genuine, but Jackson doesn't own the bones. Merrick's organs were destroyed in an air raid on the Royal London Hospital during the Second World War. Casts of his head, an arm and a foot survived, but were not up for sale.
8: Sid checks in at Heathrow Punk romantics believe that Sid's mum scattered his ashes over Nancy's grave in Philadelphia. It's more likely that Ma Vicious arrived back at Heathrow with his remains. Malcolm McLaren claims she knocked them over in the arrivals lounge; hence the fanciful myth that Sid's essence still circulates, wafting through the air vents and moving among the travellers.
9: Richey Edwards lives Ten years on, Richey's disappearance remains imbued with a Lucan-like mythology by those who love a good mystery. Given the extent of his problems - self-harm, alcoholism, anorexia - and the fact that numerous sightings have amounted to nothing, it's safe to assume he's probably no longer alive, sadly. But don't expect the rumours to evaporate.
10: Led Zep and the mud shark 'A pretty young groupie with red hair was tied to the bed,' claimed Stephen Davis in Hammer of the Gods. 'Led Zeppelin proceeded to stuff pieces of shark into her vagina and rectum.' Not quite. Zep did catch sharks from the window of their hotel, but the pesce in question was actually a red snapper, while the perpetrator was road manager Richard Cole.
Making the law - Graeme Thomson justifies his selection of rock mythologies
Sex, death, drugs, sharks, TV, elephants and the devil himself. Nothing sums up the ridiculous circus of rock'n'roll better than the mythology that both nourishes and devours it, vividly illustrating the impossible feats of self destruction and degradation we would have our 'rock gods' vicariously act out on our behalf.
The fact that Bill Wyman is an authority on the thorny questions of mechanical royalties and overseas tax shelters is all well and good but really, we just want to believe that Keef is a vampire. We might grudgingly acknowledge that Ringo Starr made a decent fist of narrating Thomas the Tank Engine, but it doesn't compete with John Lennon (metaphorically) blowing reefer smoke in the Queen's face. As John Ford once said: 'When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.'
In the end, I omitted the Adam and Eve of all rock'n'roll myths: that Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966 and has subsequently been played by an impersonator, who was originally employed by The Beatles.
Why did I leave it out? For one, it would take a degree in Beatleology to adequately comprehend the various bewildering permutations; and anyway, it might just be true. Those listening to the bulk of McCartney's output from 1967 onwards (and yes, let's include the pretty tedious Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in that time-frame, as long as we can exclude 'Maybe I'm Amazed') could be forgiven for entertaining a little confusion on the matter.
Similarly, the tale of Marianne Faithfull and the Mars Bar is so well worn as to be practically dull. I think you'll find Led Zeppelin, or their road manager at least, had a slightly more lewdly imaginative take on that particular format. Or did he?
No Elvis myths on the list?
The Walrus is Paul.
#11 - That Green Day has any talent. American Idiots indeed! Proves that hating America gets liberals to play your songs.
Add Warren Haynes - most underrated, hardest working guitarman in the bidness.
To those who doubt Jimi Hendrix was the best ROCK guitarist ever - just ask anyone on the list (who is still alive) that you may post of "better" guitarists who THEY think was best -- you'll get a nearly unanimous "Hendrix".
Doubt that? You're wrong. Period.
To judge Hendrix by any standard other than that of facts that existed during his time does no justice to him or other guitarists. I've been playing guitar for 27 years and I still wish I could play with a fraction of the prowess and innovation as Jimi Hendrix.
He burst onto the scene in 1967! Not 1977 - not 1987 - not 1997 -- 1967! No one had ever DREAMED of the things that man did back then.
End of THAT discussion (that should have never even been started)!
Two more myths (both false):
- REM is a good band
- U2 is a good band
Highly - HIGHLY - overrated garbage.
Ask 200 people for their list and you will get 200 different answers.
Hey, I said nothing derogatory about Hendrix. However, Page, Beck and Gilmour make my top 10 guitarists. I'm just a rookie player with a good ear. Having said that, I do love Hendrix.
That's why he isn't wearing shoes on the album cover. ;-)
Hendrix's rendition of "Hear My Train A Coming" from the Rainbow Bridge album remains the hottest licks ever played on a guitar!
Isn't Robert Johnson the one who went to the crossroads and sold his soul to the Devil? Parodied in "O Brother Where Art Thou".
That's the rumor, I guess. Robert Johnson was a genius though; I really need to re-buy his box set.
Why no mention of Morrison and the Doors rumors?
Looks like courtney love 10 years from now.
RE: "Did Kerry King from Slayer play guitar for the Beastie Boys' "No Sleep till Brooklyn" hit in the 80's?"
Kerry King (Slayer god!) was indeed the man who laid down that bee-swarm guitar on track 8 of License to Ill. "No Sleep Till Brooklyn is one of the coolest rap/rock jams of all time, and License is one kick-a** album!
RE: "Two more myths (both false):...U2 is a good band"
Surely you jest. U2's The Joshua Tree is the most majestic, beautiful, truly inspiring album I've EVER heard, a real life-changer. I play it for everybody that'll listen, all the way through and I NEVER get tired of it. In fact, I discover something new every time I hear it, and I have a new "fave" every month or two. Right now, the immortal "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is battling it out with the stunning "One Tree Hill" for top honors.
Tip: It plays even better in the night, rolling down the Highway with the wind in your hair and the road stretched out for miles around you...pure Zen. Pure.
Thanks, I appreciate the confirmation.
Joshua Tree is original, innovative, and at times, beautiful -- I'll give it that much.
I still contend that THE BAND U2 is very...very highly overrated. I - I MYSELF - find most of their music hard to listen to. Then again - I like outstanding guitar if it's gonna be called "rock".
I've heard very little U2 music I would even label as "very good" in the guitar department. That whole "ching-a-ling - echoing" sound The Edge has going on in so much of U2's music annoys me to no end.
Play the damn guitar and quit relying on technology to do it for ya!
Guitar. Distortion pedal. Tube amp. Bend strings. Play hard. Period.
THAT'S rock 'n roll.
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