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The 10 greatest rock'n'roll myths
observer ^ | 2/22/05 | Graeme Thomson

Posted on 02/22/2005 9:53:02 PM PST by freedom44

1: 'Mama' Cass choking on a sandwich When 'Mama' Cass Elliot died in her London flat in 1974 at the age of 32, a hasty postmortem suggested she had choked on her own vomit while chomping a sandwich in bed. At 5' 5" and 240 pounds, it was easy to believe that - like a female version of Monty Python's Mr Creosote - Elliot had simply gambled on one mouthful too many. Not so. The coroner's report after her death concluded that Cass died of massive heart failure, brought on by obesity and the strains of crash dieting. Though a sandwich may well have been found at her bedside, the autopsy revealed no evidence of food in her trachea. Tragically, it appears she died peckish.

2: Marilyn Manson starring in 'The Wonder Years' This fuels every parent's fear that the most innocuous geek-child can go stone bad. Did the young Brian Warner (aka Mr Manson) play Paul Pfeiffer, goofy pal of Kevin Arnold, in the schmaltzy rites-of passage TV show? 'It's kind of irrelevant whether these rumours are true or not,' quoth Manson. Well actually, Marilyn, it's not irrelevant to Josh Saviano, who really did play Paul Pfeiffer.

3: The Beatles' spliff in Buckingham Palace Sometime after our four young heroes bounced into the Palace in October 1965 to receive their MBEs, John Lennon claimed they'd shared a toke in the loos. Not the most reliable witness - he once claimed he wrote 'Eleanor Rigby' - Lennon later 'fessed up, admitting 'we'd have been far too scared to do it'. McCartney, meanwhile, remembers simply having a 'sly ciggie' with the chaps to calm nerves.

4: Keef's blood transfusion Keen to clean up for a European tour, Richards reportedly replaced his poisoned old claret with an infusion of healthy blood in a Swiss clinic in September 1973. In reality, it was probably only haemodialysis, which filters impurities from the bloodstream. 'Someone asked me how I cleaned up, so I said I had my blood completely changed,' Richards said. 'I was fucking sick of answering that question, so I gave them a story.'

5: Stevie Nicks having cocaine blown up her bum It's tempting to believe Fleetwood Mac's queen bee followed her addiction to such deliciously depraved depths - but sadly, untrue. 'That's absurd,' said Nicks in 2001. 'Maybe it came about because people knew I had such a big hole in my nose. Let's put a belt through my nose, because that's how big the hole is.' So she just talks through her arse, then. Maybe.

6: Robert Johnson's pact with the devil Famously, Johnson sold his soul to the devil in order to play guitar like a demon. You want prima facie evidence? How about 'Me and the Devil Blues', and the fact that young Robert was a poor guitarist whose improvement was remarkable. Actually, he used that little known voodoo technique 'practice', and was tutored by a bluesman called Ike Zimmerman. Not Satan.

7: Jacko and the elephant man Reports surfaced in 1987 that Wacko had offered $50,000 for the remains of the Victorian patient Joseph Merrick, aka the Elephant Man. The offer may have been genuine, but Jackson doesn't own the bones. Merrick's organs were destroyed in an air raid on the Royal London Hospital during the Second World War. Casts of his head, an arm and a foot survived, but were not up for sale.

8: Sid checks in at Heathrow Punk romantics believe that Sid's mum scattered his ashes over Nancy's grave in Philadelphia. It's more likely that Ma Vicious arrived back at Heathrow with his remains. Malcolm McLaren claims she knocked them over in the arrivals lounge; hence the fanciful myth that Sid's essence still circulates, wafting through the air vents and moving among the travellers.

9: Richey Edwards lives Ten years on, Richey's disappearance remains imbued with a Lucan-like mythology by those who love a good mystery. Given the extent of his problems - self-harm, alcoholism, anorexia - and the fact that numerous sightings have amounted to nothing, it's safe to assume he's probably no longer alive, sadly. But don't expect the rumours to evaporate.

10: Led Zep and the mud shark 'A pretty young groupie with red hair was tied to the bed,' claimed Stephen Davis in Hammer of the Gods. 'Led Zeppelin proceeded to stuff pieces of shark into her vagina and rectum.' Not quite. Zep did catch sharks from the window of their hotel, but the pesce in question was actually a red snapper, while the perpetrator was road manager Richard Cole.

Making the law - Graeme Thomson justifies his selection of rock mythologies

Sex, death, drugs, sharks, TV, elephants and the devil himself. Nothing sums up the ridiculous circus of rock'n'roll better than the mythology that both nourishes and devours it, vividly illustrating the impossible feats of self destruction and degradation we would have our 'rock gods' vicariously act out on our behalf.

The fact that Bill Wyman is an authority on the thorny questions of mechanical royalties and overseas tax shelters is all well and good but really, we just want to believe that Keef is a vampire. We might grudgingly acknowledge that Ringo Starr made a decent fist of narrating Thomas the Tank Engine, but it doesn't compete with John Lennon (metaphorically) blowing reefer smoke in the Queen's face. As John Ford once said: 'When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.'

In the end, I omitted the Adam and Eve of all rock'n'roll myths: that Paul McCartney died in a car crash in 1966 and has subsequently been played by an impersonator, who was originally employed by The Beatles.

Why did I leave it out? For one, it would take a degree in Beatleology to adequately comprehend the various bewildering permutations; and anyway, it might just be true. Those listening to the bulk of McCartney's output from 1967 onwards (and yes, let's include the pretty tedious Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in that time-frame, as long as we can exclude 'Maybe I'm Amazed') could be forgiven for entertaining a little confusion on the matter.

Similarly, the tale of Marianne Faithfull and the Mars Bar is so well worn as to be practically dull. I think you'll find Led Zeppelin, or their road manager at least, had a slightly more lewdly imaginative take on that particular format. Or did he?


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: music; myth; rockandroll; rodgetsabellypump; rumours; toomuchgoo; urbanlegends; whataboutrod
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To: dfwgator

"The original"...........well............there are many who could and would argue that. Hendrix did some unique things on the guitar for his day, NO doubt. His influences were varied. I think we can, in no way, call him the "original". He was, however, one of those rare guitarists that set the rock world on its ear. Eddie Van Halen was another, love him or not. He revolutionized rock guitar in many ways, spawning far more imitators than even Hendrix.

I take nothing away from Hendrix when I say he wasn't the "original"..........but he was unique, and he did turn the rock world upside down in his day.

As an interesting aside.......I just recently learned that he was keenly interested in joining Emerson, Lake, and Palmer before his untimely and tragically wasteful death.


61 posted on 02/23/2005 5:20:15 PM PST by RightOnline
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To: Chunga
"Siberian Khatru!"

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh yes................what a wonderful piece.

Just a few short years ago here in Raleigh, NC, Yes and Kansas appeared in concert together. They had, largely, their original lineups. What a treat. Both bands played sets that catered to their "old" fans. In fact, Yes was celebrating their 25th anniversary and played songs to the fans that got 'em there.........it was just one big love-fest. They were truly awesome, as was Kansas.

The sheer virtuosity of BOTH bands was stunning, but to watch Steve Howe (who is now frail, pretty much bald, dressed like the nerd in your high school physics class....) just WAIL on guitar is a sight to behold. The chops that boy has are simply unbelievable.....and he is entirely self-taught. Just stunning.

And Jon Anderson??? He of the pretty-girl singing voice??? He of the hippy-dippy lyrics????

Came across as just the happiest, most down to earth, really cool guy you could imagine.......and damned if he still can't hit EVERY one of those high notes soooooooo effortlessly. So did Chris Squire (the most talented rock bassist who ever slung a four-stringer over his shoulder). Just amazing.

Oh, and yeah.....they did "Siberian Khatru" and I was in heaven. :)

62 posted on 02/23/2005 5:27:36 PM PST by RightOnline
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To: freedom44

And another busted myth...


The Lizard King was more of a Gecko.





I am the Walrus.


63 posted on 02/23/2005 5:35:58 PM PST by socal_parrot (Inflate the life vest by pulling on the tabs or blow into the tube.)
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To: Chunga
Siberian Khatru!

That whole album, from start to finish, is a true Masterpiece !!! "Siberian K ..", "And You and I", "Close to the Edge" .... a stunningly brilliant album :)

..... and don't think I'm biased just because I've seen YES some 15 times over the decades !!! LOL

Mr Moonlight

64 posted on 02/23/2005 5:47:42 PM PST by Mr_Moonlight
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To: RightOnline
One 'rock myth' that can safely be put to rest is that all those guitars that Pete Townshend bashed up during The Who's early years were mere 'prop' or 'toy' guitars which were pre-designated as *smashers* .... no, I've witnessed Pete smashing a few onstage, and they were *real* Les Pauls, Strats, SG's, and Rick's ... Pete was playing them full force before any 'smashing' took place, and if anyone is familiar with his heavy handed guitar technique, one would know that his guitars rarely (if ever) go out of tune(!) much less be simple 'smashing props' !!

It's still amazing that after all those smashings in clubs and theaters and arenas, that nobody was ever injured by flying shrapnal !

65 posted on 02/23/2005 6:07:16 PM PST by Mr_Moonlight
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To: Clemenza

That Rod Stewart rumour has also been attributed to David Bowie, Elton John (more believable), Alanis Morrissette, L'il Kim, and the version which I grew up hearing about, one of the New Kids on the Block.


66 posted on 02/23/2005 6:20:07 PM PST by RightWingAtheist (Marxism-the creationism of the left)
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To: RightWingAtheist

I heard Mick Jagger as well...


67 posted on 02/23/2005 8:24:17 PM PST by MikeD (Columnated ruins domino...)
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To: freedom44

A couple of other myths I can think of off the top of my head:

John Lennon never really urinated off a balcony in Germany onto a group of nuns.

Jimi Hendrix never claimed Billy Gibbons/Phil Keaggy/INSERT GUITARIST HERE was the best ever

A couple of true myths:

John Lennon went on holiday in Spain with manager Brian Epstein.

Charles Manson really did record an album with one or more of the Beach Boys.

Iggy Pop was once creeped out by Brian Wilson's behavior in the 70s.

Elton John was married to a female recording engineer.


68 posted on 02/23/2005 8:28:02 PM PST by MikeD (Columnated ruins domino...)
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To: RightOnline

Here are three guitarists I've found are underrated:

1. John Fogerty. Yeah, the early Creedence stuff is fairly simple, but he's really turned on the juice the last couple of years. He's actually studied and practiced since the breakup, so he's a much better guitarist now than he ever was in CCR.

2. Phil Solem, of the Rembrandts. While they're best known for the "Friends" theme, Solem handled some incredible axe duties on such tracks as "Follow You Down" and "Rolling Down the Hill."

3. Glenn Tilbrook, of Squeeze. OK, so this man can do everything, and thirty years on still has that sweet voice. However, his electric guitar leads reach virtuoso level, and his solo acoustic shows are a real treat as he condenses all aspects of Squeeze songs down to one acoustic guitar.

Honorable mention -- Prince. He's weird, he's perverted, but he smokes on guitar. He played "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" at the R&RHOF last year and blew Eric Clapton out of the water.


69 posted on 02/23/2005 8:31:55 PM PST by MikeD (Columnated ruins domino...)
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To: MikeD
You know, there will always be spot for Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits fame. That man could riff with the best in his own unique style.

Lando

70 posted on 02/23/2005 8:40:06 PM PST by Lando Lincoln (How many liberals does it take to win a war?)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

To tag on to your story, when Simon Townshend ( Pete's little brother) was 6 years old, Pete gave him a smashed and glued back together guitar for Christmas.


71 posted on 02/23/2005 9:08:28 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs (I don't support gay male prostitutes, beating up people in strip bars or poor grammar.)
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
To tag on to your story, when Simon Townshend ( Pete's little brother) was 6 years old, Pete gave him a smashed and glued back together guitar for Christmas.

This may not be the actual guitar that Simon recieved that Christmas morning, but some interesting pics of a bashed SG nonetheless ..... [grin] http://www.thewho.info/SG.htm

72 posted on 02/23/2005 10:04:17 PM PST by Mr_Moonlight
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To: Chad Fairbanks

Then there was Dimebag and the guitar picks...


73 posted on 02/23/2005 10:09:30 PM PST by DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet (Humina, humina, humina...)
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To: HHFi
also the myth, started by the movie "American Hot Wax," that Chuck Berry would ever play a show for free.

Ya gotta like Chuck's style. One man, one Cadillac, one check.

The man defines "low overhead".

74 posted on 02/23/2005 10:12:31 PM PST by okie01 (A slavering moron and proud member of the lynch mob, cleaning the Augean stables of MSM since 1998.)
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To: okie01

Lucan is the Lord Lucan who disappeared after allegedly killing his nanny whose body was later found in a freezer.I'd have to do a search, but I think they were the main facts.


75 posted on 02/23/2005 10:34:21 PM PST by Never2baCrat (I used to be modest, now I'm perfect!)
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To: Never2baCrat

Here's a link with the history:- http://www.lordlucan.com/


76 posted on 02/23/2005 10:37:35 PM PST by Never2baCrat (I used to be modest, now I'm perfect!)
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To: RightOnline
Close To The Edge is nothing short of genius. No compromises, no debates.

I hope a certain somebody reads this. And thanks.

77 posted on 02/23/2005 10:46:16 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: RightWingAtheist

Didn't Marylin manson play Satan in The Passion of the Christ?


78 posted on 02/23/2005 10:50:04 PM PST by Radioactive
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To: Never2baCrat
Lucan is the Lord Lucan

Did you mean to address this to somebody else?

79 posted on 02/23/2005 11:23:05 PM PST by okie01 (A slavering moron and proud member of the lynch mob, cleaning the Augean stables of MSM since 1998.)
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To: RightOnline
I just recently learned that he was keenly interested in joining Emerson, Lake, and Palmer before his untimely and tragically wasteful death.

And the name of of the band would have been Hendrix, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, or HELP.

80 posted on 02/24/2005 6:20:13 AM PST by dfwgator (It's sad that the news media treats Michael Jackson better than our military.)
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