[exnavychick]

No offense, but speaking as one who has been there...hogswallop!! :)

I know that you are speaking in generalities, and in that case, you may very well be correct. But I didn't find my husband to be diminished in anyone's eyes (except his own...with that one, you were dead on). THAT was a small problem, but all the rest was pretty much a load, sorry.

[HitmanLV]

I'm speaking as a general principle, and I explicitly wrote that this doesn't cover all cases.

Of course I am correct - most men see it, and most women are probably more acutely aware of it than the men.

That the male in your life had problems dealing with the role is not unexpected, and I addressed it. And I also said that, consciously, the women in their lives appreciate the role the male takes in these situations.

But what I said about the subconscious instinct stands, as a general principle, as very valid. It is funny that you would bring up your failed relationship as evidence that what I suggested was somehow inaccurate.

'Whatever,' I say.

In any case, you are right that these things are not exhibited in every case, nor do they tend to exclusively cause problems in a marriage, but they do cause significant damage.

But as a general principle, a male is more at ease and in an optimal frame of mind if he takes the traditional role, and a female is more at ease and in an optimal frame of mind if she takes her traditional role. That's not an argument against careers for women, far from it: it's more important for the male to take his place of strength and providing for his nest. Otherwise, he will see himself as diminished.

If he fails, it's only natural for his mate to see him as diminished, also. And why would a woman hang around a diminished male? she wouldn't, of course.

And that ain't hogswallop (whatever that is). :-)