Mark Steyn: What's US Policy on Europe? No Giggling

The Telegraph ^ | February 20, 2005 | Mark Steyn

[quidnunc]

Two years ago, I wrote that America and Europe were now engaged in a new Cold War. And just like the old Cold War it's not only about Jacques Chirac issuing Krushchevian boasts to Washington that "we will bury you"; it's also got room for the occasional détente phase. So this month in Washington is Be Nice To Europe month. For weeks now, the Administration's hardline Zionist Christian fundamentalist neocon unilateralist warmongers have been coming into the office to find smiley-face reminders from the White House pinned to the desk: "Have you hugged a European foreign minister today?" And they've been doing their best to comply: Condi Rice flew in to the heart of "old Europe" and launched a big charm offensive. Then Donald Rumsfeld flew in and launched what felt like a faintly parodic charm offensive, insisting that the disparaging remarks about "old Europe" had been made by the "old Rumsfeld".

And now the President himself is on his way, staying up all night on Air Force One trying to master the official State Department briefing paper on the European Rapid Reaction Force, the European Constitution, the European negotiations with Iran, etc. ("When these subjects come up, US policy is to nod politely and try not to giggle. If you feel a massive hoot of derision coming on, duck out to the men's room, but without blaming it on the escargots.") The French Foreign Minister took to calling the US Secretary of State "chère Condi" every 30 seconds. It's doubtful if the French President will go that far, but, if he does, the White House line is that Mr Bush is happy to play Renee Zellweger to Chirac's Tom Cruise ("You had me at bonjour").

What does all this mean? Nothing. In victory, magnanimity — and right now Bush can afford to be magnanimous, even if Europe isn't yet ready to acknowledge his victory. On Thursday, in a discussion of "the greater Middle East", the President remarked that Syria was "out of step". And, amazingly, he's right. Not so long ago, Syria was perfectly in step with the Middle East — it was the archetypal squalid stable Arab dictatorship. Two years on, Syria hasn't changed, but Iraq has, and, to varying degrees, the momentum in Jordan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, the Palestinian Authority and Lebanon (where the Syrians have overplayed their hand) is also in the Bush direction. Boy Assad finds himself in the position of the unfortunate soldier in Irving Berlin's First World War marching song, "They Were All Out Of Step But Jim".

-snip-

[Dog Gone]

I knew if I scrolled down, some kind soul would post the whole thing. Thanks!

[hosepipe]

[ When these subjects come up, US policy is to nod politely and try not to giggle. ]

URP'eons are a legends in their own minds.... kind of like Canadians except Canadians are dwarves..

[Dog Gone]

What does all this mean? Nothing. In victory, magnanimity – and right now Bush can afford to be magnanimous, even if Europe isn't yet ready to acknowledge his victory.

Which is precisely where we are at diplomatically.

I don't expect anything substantivelly to improve with President Bush's visit. It may pay dividends down the road when Europe replaces their current leaders and admits the obvious. Bush was right.

[mardler]

On the other hand, a new CIA analysis has predicted the collapse of the EU within 15 years.

Can anyone tell me where to find this? Thx

[ohioWfan]

For weeks now, the Administration's hardline Zionist Christian fundamentalist neocon unilateralist warmongers have been coming into the office to find smiley-face reminders from the White House pinned to the desk: "Have you hugged a European foreign minister today?"

Oh, my! What delicious sarcasm!

Steyn BUMP!! (No giggling, though......)

[WarrenC]

Nice to see the "hiatus" is ended. SteynOnLine is back up and running.

[Dog Gone]

I don't remember the article title, but it was posted here, at least in part. You might search the CIA webpage.

[Joe Bonforte]

Steyn's predictions aren't better than others'.

Nobody's perfect. Lots of folks thought Osama was cave splatter.

But compared to his colleages in the MSM, Steyn looks like an oracle. He correctly predicted:

- A good outcome in Afghanistan, ridiculing the "graveyard of empire" and "brutal Afghan winter" nonsense

- A quick victory in Iraq, in which the Iraqis folded up like a tinfoil pie pan

- The victory of John Howard in Australia

- The victory of George Bush (Steyn was the earliest guy I know who proclaimed that Kerry didn't have a prayer)

- The positive outcome of the Iraqi election

- The perfidy of the UN in various recent happenings

So I have to rank him pretty high. What predictions besides Osama's death has he made incorrectly? (I seem to recall he didn't think Kerry would take the Democratic primary, but he wasn't adamant about that and didn't think any of the candidates had a decisive advantage.)

[TexanToTheCore]

"The French Foreign Minister took to calling the US Secretary of State "chère Condi" every 30 seconds."

That's because the French FM is on the make...nothing more.

[Starve The Beast]

Thanks for the whole article, Eurotwit.

[quidnunc]

mardler wrote: (On the other hand, a new CIA analysis has predicted the collapse of the EU within 15 years.} Can anyone tell me where to find this? Thx

I believe there was an article about this in The Scotsman.

[quidnunc]

Try going here:

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=56762005

[Chgogal]

Here is the post.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1321902/posts

[Brian Allen]

<< Europe will still be claiming that Arabs can't handle democracy when the Iraqis are celebrating their centennial. >>

Just as, these two-hundred-odd years on -- the mailand Euro-peons and their squalidly-socialiSStic offshore-satellite-state-subject Limeys are still so superciliously so claiming of US!

[Grenada]

Thank you for posting the ENTIRE piece.

[alwaysconservative]

THANK YOU! I was pretty sure we don't have excerpt from the Guardian (UK).

[alwaysconservative]

Make that the Telegraph (blush!)

[prairiebreeze]

And now the President himself is on his way, staying up all night on Air Force One trying to master the official State Department briefing paper on the European Rapid Reaction Force, the European Constitution, the European negotiations with Iran, etc. ("When these subjects come up, US policy is to nod politely and try not to giggle. If you feel a massive hoot of derision coming on, duck out to the men's room, but without blaming it on the escargots.")

LOL! Best line of the whole article.

[andrewwood]

Steyn's predictions aren't better than others'.

I`ve never heard of a columnist promise in print to resign if he was mistaken, but Steyn did, in the Telegraph, vow to do just that if Bush did not win in November.

Now, if we could just get Fisk and all those others who promised us Afghan quagmires, Iraqi election fiasco, and a Kerry victory,to oblige us by resigning in shame.

Silly me, of course not, they don't even pause for a moment before venturing forth to view the future through the same mirror they used the last time.

[andrewwood]

Steyn's predictions aren't better than others'.

I`ve never heard of a columnist promise in print to resign if he was mistaken, but Steyn did, in the Telegraph, vow to do just that if Bush did not win in November.

Now, if we could just get Fisk and all those others who promised us Afghan quagmires, Iraqi election fiasco, and a Kerry victory,to oblige us by resigning in shame.

Silly me, of course not, they don't even pause for a moment before venturing forth to view the future through the same mirror they used the last time.