Posted on 02/16/2005 7:34:02 AM PST by Lazamataz
All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.
Children - "the ultimate human experience" I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.
I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?
I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!
Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your **** do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.
A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's crap. Even when it's not bad, it's crap". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her butt and be happy to do it kind of love.
What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.
Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?
Most married guys I know are working their butts off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.
My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.
What security is there for men in marriage? If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she still gets half my stuff. Why the heck should i get married?
Screw it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom.
Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.
As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:
1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.
2. Guy delays.
3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.
4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.
5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.
6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.
Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.
I had my little fling with the concept. With the RIGHT WOMAN, I might try it again, but marrying for the sake of being married is RIGHT OUT.
Cynical does not equal wise.
I hope this writer never marries. His misery deserves solitude.
Isn't it also true that life is often not happy, no matter what choices you make? "People are generally as happy as they make up their minds to be."
I happen to know a few long-single male losers, now in retirement (and living on disability)-- they are wrinkled-up little boys, looking for Mommy and Daddy, who've long since departed this world. They drive their neighbors crazy, have basically no personal resources to call upon when a little bit of trouble comes.
And, believe it or not, the happiest couples I know are successful folks looking forward to retirement together. They've paddled their boats over a lot of rocks, and have that to share with each other. I don't think they want to be the whiny, dependent little old bachelors I also am acquainted with...
Mr. Alouette: Living with my mother or homeless or dead.
Alouette: DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT!!!
How do you know this?
What a truly unfortunate, angry little person it took to write this crap.
*rolls eyes*
This guy doesn't exactly sound happy as a single dude, either.
Love my Missus - Best thing that ever happened to me - Having more fun now than ever before - 25 years in April. Thanking God for his mercy in giving me a great wife. Amen
He's right.... Bitter people should not get married.
Don't be bitter Laz....
Marriage,
Hmmm,
Some of us are just really bad at it.
(I can't play the piano either).
Here's to being a wrinkled-up little boy! SALUD!
Love my Missus - Best thing that ever happened to me - Having more fun now than ever before - 25 years in April. Thanking God for his mercy in giving me a great wife. Amen
My 4 ex-husbands resemble this remark : )
I got it wrong once and finally ended up with a wife that I would like to spend Eternity with. God intended for Man and Woman to form unions, we just tend to let our own defects get in the way and bollix things up.
I think marriage is a sacrifice for both partners. If you don't know that ahead of time and if your partner is unappreciative of this fact, this is what will happen.
I don't think he is a jerk. He and/or his partner was not ready for the mutual sacrifice.
I think that's me too.
I am, however, a wonderful boyfriend.
"I'll never forget what my grandfather told me about how to select a wife. He said never marry a woman with big hands; it will make your di*k look small."
I bet you never looked at grandma's hands the same way
Heh...how long have you been hoarding that image? ;-)
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