Posted on 02/15/2005 11:32:22 AM PST by Dan from Michigan
Honey, Remember to Turn on the Rooster Booster...
Tue Feb 15, 8:17 AM ET Oddly Enough - Reuters
BERLIN (Reuters) - Before leaving on vacation, a German couple set up a loudspeaker and timer with the sound of a crowing cock to blast their neighbors every morning.
After complaints, police in the northern town of Itzehoe obtained a warrant to enter the house and discovered the gear with the speakers aimed at the neighbors and rigged to a timer.
"The apparatus switched on between 2 and 4 o'clock in the morning and produced a cock crowing at an enormous volume. This would last for 20 minutes with breaks in between," police said.
Police confiscated the gear and charged the vacationers, who are still away, with bodily harm and disturbing the peace. The neighbors had no history of antagonism.
Sounds like it was all cocked up.
A good friend of mine, after twice asking politely, walked across the street at 2 am and blew a couple speakers off the roof with a 12 gauge. Abrupt end to party.
I get that urge every time some bonehead pulls up next to me at a light in one of those rolling bass speakers...
The stereo, not the bonehead. :)
They were charged with "bodily harm"???????????
That is just mean. They better stay on vacation.
A great prank, but whose body did it harm???
In late Middle Ages it would be an elaborated action figures clock, with chimes on the hour, which would become the pride of that town, and would be attracting tourists even to this day. The best they could squeeze nowadays is a primitive rooster prank. The place is seriously degenerating.
Friend of mine tossed a grenade simulator in the open window & onto one of those rolling speakers. Blew the health out of it. I thought we were going to get shot at or go to jail. But, the dim thought the song he was playing did it & mouthed off to his buddy how great his system was.
The house I lived in up in vermont was right behind the church. Every hour, the bells rang. WE were so close, we could hear the clapper return after the peal of the bell.
THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE
A few weeks ago, I got nostalgic for the Army, so I downloaded some bugle calls from the Internet. Retreat, Reveille, Charge, Call to Quarters were among my downloads. I programmed my computer to play these during certain times of the day. I was greeted in the morning with Reveille. You would recognize it. It sounds like "I CAN'T GET UM UP, I CAN'T GET UM UP, I CAN'T GET UM UP IN THE MORNNNNING".
Then I started using the computer as an alarm clock (in effect turning my $1000 computer into a $4.95 alarm clock). Every morning, the computer woke up at 5 am and after warming up and loading all of its programs, it would turn up the volume and play Reveille waking both the dog and me.
Very pleased with my experiment, I connected my computer to my high fidelity home entertainment setup, and the quality of the bugle calls improved significantly, along with the quantity of the volume. Now it really sounded like the bugle calls in Fort Monmouth New Jersey at 5 am in 1962.
I decided I had to share the military experience with my neighbors. And, of course, Reveille MUST be played at 5 AM. Got out some wire and extended the speakers of the entertainment center to 3 different windows of my house. Some duct tape sealed the windows from the wind but left the speakers sticking out the window. I couldn't test the volume because that would give away the surprise I had for my neighbors the next morning so I just guessed at about 3/4's of the full scale.
The day of awakening, I used the regular $4.95 alarm clock to wake the dog and I at 4:45 am. Perked my coffee, poured myself a cup, and waited for the big moment. At 4:58, the computer came on, loaded up the programs and at exactly 5AM, "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" began for my neighbors. Ahh, the pure joy of reveille.
Only one problem, the volume rivaled the civilian defense air raid sirens, and apparently Reveille broke the sleep of 5,000 residents over a 5 square mile radius. I saw lights come on all over my neighborhood, but since the bugle call was only 30 seconds long, they couldn?t locate the source. I was tempted to play it a few more times, but I didn't.
I gave my neighbors "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" for 4 straight mornings. I talked to the Bishop across the street and apparently "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" was not to his liking. He vowed to get the people that were playing bugles at 5 AM, so I realized that I had to get sneakier. I skipped 2 mornings (Saturday and Sunday), then gave them "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" again.
On Monday, the Bishop told me he was going to call the police. He suspected the "new people" down the street. They had teenagers and must be the guilty family. I decided to push it. I got out the police scanner, and fired it up. Tuesday, "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" went off without a hitch. Wednesday, the police scanner was full of talk. The Barney Fife SWAT team was deployed around the town, waiting for the perps giving "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE". I decided to wait, desecration being the better part of valor. At about 5:30, Barney Fife (the chief) came over the police radio, canceling the stake out. I gave them 5 minutes to go get donuts, turned the volume to full, then "THE MILITARY EXPERIENCE" happened again. Unfortunately, I cracked three windows in my house, and the dog went deaf.
I have decided to give my neighbors an Honorable Discharge, and let them sleep in, retiring the reveille tape.
Does anybody know where I can get the sound of a fog horn in the middle of the Atlantic?
My brother in law is somewhat of a redneck. He did something similar with a horn - off of an Amtrak train!
I dare someone to post a pic of Dean screaming.
A friend of mine in Maine with a cottage near the shore asked his neighbors if he could cut a view where their trees had grown up. They said "yes."
He cut the whole grove of spruce trees that blocked his view. The woman next door was outraged, because it turns out that she considered it to be her "sacred grove."
She and her husband affixed an enormous spotlight on their dock, pointing straight at my friend's bedroom window, and left it on all night, all summer.
I don't remember how this was finally resolved, but the feud ended when the neighbors sold their house.
When I read the headline I thought it was another story about O'Reilly's sexual harrassment suit. Oh well...</p>
I am the proud owner of a rooster alarm clock, obtained from Kellogg's as a Corn Flake promotion. It is so obnoxiously loud and so realistic sounding that I ended up buying 4 or 5.
Gave some of them away, and then my wife got really tired of hearing it, so I packed it away in the guest bedroom closet.
Recently, over the Christmas holidays, a relative was awakened at 5AM and spent quite some time laying in the bed trying to figure out who in my neighborhood owns a rooster.
I saw the headline and thought this was about Erectile Dysfunction. woops
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