I'd hire a legal Martian, if he or she spoke English, wasn't color blind or physically impaired, and could read English. No eyebrow or nose rings. Sheeesh!
If you are serious I can put you in touch with a friend that does exactly that kind of work and is concidering relocating to N.C. to do phone support work. He is more of a hands on tech, (Unix, Windows, sys admin type) but phone support is all he can find at the moment.
No piercings yet. ;)