You are completely right - I have explicitly said that males are not slaves to their sexual instincts.
These instincts I am describing aren't for the best. The truth is, while most males of all ages have the instincts I am talking about, very very few act upon them constantly and consistently - their lives would be a disaster if they did.
Your view is not inconsistent with my view - in fact, it compliments it. But I do think that the male instincts on balance are refined by the presence of women in their lives, for the reasons I have stated. And I think that's a very good thing.
PS - as far as you knowing many men who are not even tempted to enjoy carnal sex with women they don't love (or even like, or even know), my gut tells me that either they are overstating their lack of temptation, or that you are misreading their instincts (not their character), or a combination of the two (and maybe something else).
What we think is a matter of instinct. What we do is a matter of character, morals, etc.
My instinct may be to find a particular woman I encounter very attractive - my character is to not act on that instinct (it would disrupt my important monogamous relationship, as well as hurt her, and I don't want to do either), and further not even to share my instinct with my romantic interest (Whoa, honey, did you see that chick? Man, I'd like to take her for a test drive, know what I mean??) That too would hurt or alienate her, and I don't want to harm someone I have romantic affection for.
So yes, that instinct is there, and nope, it's not a license to act in an uncivil way.
Anything less would be, literally, uncivilized.
We aren't too off base with one another...however, the main reason you refrain from acting "carnally" as we have deemed it, is only because you don't want to hurt your significant other or jeopardize your relationship. But, if she would never, ever find out, thus she would not be hurt nor would your relationship be jeopardized, would you do it? That, to me, is the fundamental question of character.
And isn't totally possible that the men I know are neither understating their desire nor am I misreading them? Maybe they just aren't satisified by empty sex. This is possible you know! Just because you can't fathom it does not mean it is unfathomable:)