I can understand a single mother's hesitation to re-marry.
But it can happen
after giving herself time to grieve the previous relationship. You may think I'm joking about grieving an abusive relationship, but at one time those married did supposedly love each other.
Addidtionally there is the loss of a spouse around to help raise the children, the loss of spousal support, hopefully the husband was working and supporting the family.
I suggest that all who are divorced attend a non-denominational weekend in their area for anyone who has gone through a major loss in their life. I will link an international site in the next post.
Additionally, please be aware of the phases of grief as put forth by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying."
Now don't you divorcess run away, because this affects you too. (it's the loss of a major relationship -- right)?????
Phases of grief:
Denial: "Oh, this can't be happening to me."
Bargaining: With me, I bargained with God, ("Please, God, I'll be the best Mother and wife -- just don't let my husband die from cancer.") but in a divorce situation this bargaining may go on before the divorce even becomes a reality.
Anger -- Again I was angry with God, but in divorce situations there is a live spouse -- no need to explain any further.
Depression -- Some of your statements echo a kind of hopelessness, helplessness that accompanies this phase. For me, I would fall asleep in a recliner at 6:00 PM, not eat with my sons, and wake up to climb into that cold bed anywhere from 10:00 PM to 2:00 AM. This was not a fun time for me.
And finally the last two phases:
Acceptance -- I can move on with my life. (I realize with children and custody battles that this is difficult, but with prayer and perseverance (and a lot of counseling for me) it does occur.
The last phase is
Reaching Out -- I never thought I would be able to traverse the deep valleys of losing my spouse. But with the Lord's precious assistance, I have come out on the other side of the chasm. Thank you, Lord
I am not trying to preach to anyone here -- merely share some of my personal and accrued knowledge about the subject of losing a spouse, whether through death or divorce.
Hope and pray it will help someone.
Salvation (now you can understand my screename!)