[Not A Snowbird]

She’s sort of viewed as an odd but harmless pet, like a brain-damaged, declawed hamster.

You mean all this time I've had MurryMom stashed in a cage in my daughter's room?!

[Miss Marple]

Is that hamster typing on a teeny-tiny keyboard? If so, you've got her!

Please be sure to give her the generic hamster food.