Be gentle, ladies -- he's the new gorilla in town

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 2/7/5 | Patricia Yollin

[SmithL]

A virgin at 23, male silverback makes mild debut at S.F. Zoo.

Twenty-three years of sexual rejection might have been too much.

The San Francisco Zoo's new male gorilla, successor to the late and virile Kubi, is finally spending quality time with the public and his four female companions -- and so far, the public seems more interesting.

"Sometimes the libido doesn't kick in right away," said longtime gorilla keeper Mary Kerr.

Zoo spokeswoman Nancy Chan put it more bluntly.

"He's a wimp," she said.

The ape's manhood, and even his name, are still question marks.

Born at Ohio's Columbus Zoo in 1981 to Oscar and Jonesy II, he acquired the name OJ and moved to San Francisco in 1982. Five years later, he relocated to the Buffalo Zoo, where he was officially Rich and unofficially OJ.

Now he's Oscar Jonesy, or Oscar for short, to avoid the notoriety linked to former football star O.J. Simpson, acquitted in 1995 of killing his wife. But the 306-pound silverback could be renamed at some point.

Whatever he's called, one thing is clear: he's still a virgin at 23, spurned repeatedly by the four females in Buffalo, who preferred a short, dumpy ape called Omega.

"You can sort of tell he's inexperienced," Kerr said. "He's not as assertive as most silverbacks would be."

[SmithL]

Well, this is the San Francisco Zoo, and he has done such a precious job of redecorating the pen.

[RtWngr]

Now HE could have some fun with the Gitmo detainees.

[EagleUSA]

Well if he is MALE AND A VIRGIN, wow, he had better be careful in SAN FREAKCISCO!!!! He won't be a virgin long....ouch!!!

[MrNatural]

Paging Maureen Dowd...come in, Maureen...

[Tuba Guy]

Maybe all that ape needs is a good cigar .....

[Boazo]

[cake_crumb]

Sounds like a registered Democrat.

[cajungirl]

Ahhhhhh! He just needs the right girl. I always liked shy men, something about them just made me want to get them out of their shell. He needs a girl like me, not that I am that kind of pervert. Dont misunderstand.

[cake_crumb]

I too like the shy, quite types, which is why I married one. Never misunderestimate those shy, quiet types, heh heh. But can't stand a man with a hairy back, even though I'm half Italian. Old Oscar's definitely too hairy.

[Tuba Guy]

That is one scary Orenotang ..... Yikes !!

[cajungirl]

Yeah, hairy backs I just couldn't live with. But I have wondered if they got the hair bleached, if that would work. I don't think waxing is good cause it just comes back plus you have that pesky back stubble.

[Boazo]

Oh that's clever,LOL

[cajungirl]

I think shy men often are oversexed or really really into sex. As auntie Martha Stewart says, that is a good thing.

[cake_crumb]

" But I have wondered if they got the hair bleached, if that would work."

Well. SORT OF. I did date a guy once who had hairy back. Since he was a blonde, he used to have me put lemon juice on his back at the beach in order to sunbleach the hair...but it's still THERE, ya know?

[cake_crumb]

" As auntie Martha Stewart says, that is a good thing."

It sure can be ;- )

[Mind-numbed Robot]

...Bawang -- who frequently copulated with Kubi before his death last May from a diseased lung..

Poor Kubi. Smoking after sex did him in.

[Citizen James]

How perfect... just in time for Valentines day...

SF Bay Area Ping!

[Frank_2001]

OMG! Bigfoot exists!!!;)

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Hypo full of Viagra and start playing Barry White across the public adress system.

Oscar'll be eyes deep in a pack of gorilla fems in no time.

[Rocketman]

Note here that in an ape that libs understand what the word male means, and what a male should do. See them call him a wimp see them say this behavior is abnormal and not acceptable -- see there is no talk that he might be gay.