Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
If a man is walking alone in the woods, and his wife isn't there to hear what he says, is he still wrong?
Guess what the distaff response to this question was?
LOL
Prove that men and women weren't meant to be monogamous? Or do you believe we're just evolutionary automatons who are slaves to our genitals? Are you a single male?
You got that right. How many men will put up with all kinds of crap from a woman when she's pretty?
Brad Pitt, and Colin Farrell.
DO NOT make me choose. (Especially seeing as Mr. Pitt is now back on the market! *L*)
Well the vast majority of us are not with our first fate that alone proves that humans are not monogamous. Are you with your high school sweetheart? And yes I am a single male.
*************
I'm so sorry. Regardless of the hard times, you and your wife must have had many good times for your marriage to have lasted for 35 years. It's a rare thing these days.
I did that too. after a long list of bad friendships/relationships, I allowed a woman to become a "friend" a couple of years ago, at college. As soon as the class was over that "friendship" ended without any explanation from her, and when I tried to find what I had done, if anything to upset her, she threatened me with a stalking charge, AND almost got me kicked out of college.
SO, needless to say, the "safety shields" are still in the UP position, at this time.
What? I don't understand what you just said. I went to an all girl's high school so I didn't have a high school sweetheart. God did not design people to be sexual robots.
Oh yeah that wedding train sure got derailed didn't it?
Must be ratings weeks at WFTV.
You can always tell what months deal with rating "sweeps" because the local news gets spicier.
"Tonight, in our six-part series on prostitution in this city..."
**************
I don't sew or cook. Fortunately, my amazing husband does both.
Am I lucky? You bet.
Cialis has a 36 hour window. How fun THAT must be to hang around for. No pun intended of course. ;)
Now, I'd be prepared to be a dutiful wife to Brad..unlike that Aniston hussey!
I'd give him all the babies he wants! *LOL* And then some! *L*
Who is he with now? I forget. What's more shocking is that J.Lo is still married to Mark!
See, there are plenty of us wonderful wives out there.
You guys just have to look!
Preach it. 100% agree. But it has to be worked on by both spouses. A one-sided marriage is doomed to failure and heartache.
Huh? Not everyone starts having sex in high school. I never had a 'sweetheart'. It's your advantage to claim that men and women weren't meant to be monogamous. Right?
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