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Why Women Cheat
WFTV ^ | 2/7/05

Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock

Why Women Cheat

Expert Reveals Warning Signs

UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005

CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.

The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.

She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.

That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.

Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.

He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.

"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.

Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.

"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.

After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.

"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.

Just how many married women have had sex with other men?

In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.

In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.

"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.

Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.

"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.

A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.

"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.

Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.

"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.

But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.

"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.

For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.

"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: adultery; women
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To: PJ-Comix

I have my father's head, his blood pressure, and many of his mannerisms. I didn't have any uncles so unless mom got it on with grampa.


141 posted on 02/07/2005 3:14:01 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: Argh

Cyber and I love each other. The good, the bad and the ugly sometimes. We'll be together forever, and we know it. I don't need another woman to write a book to tell me what I want or don't want. Thank you ever so much. LOL!


142 posted on 02/07/2005 3:15:16 PM PST by Slip18
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To: Saundra Duffy

"There's nothing funny about this."

I agree. Shame that the communication between the sexes has degraded to this level.


143 posted on 02/07/2005 3:15:17 PM PST by Conservative Goddess (Veritas vos Liberabit, in Vino, Veritas....QED, Vino vos Liberabit)
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To: Tempest

With all the porn and strip clubs women are degrading themselves to the point that any decent guy will stay a 100 miles away from any of the so-called, open minded feminists.


144 posted on 02/07/2005 3:16:32 PM PST by John Lenin (Would you rather they push you out the window little girl ?)
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To: theFIRMbss

That guy looks queer. Honest opinion.


145 posted on 02/07/2005 3:17:20 PM PST by streetpreacher (There will be no Trolls in heaven.)
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To: MarIboro
A guy I work with has married a beautiful Russian girl he met though some sort of agency. She is lovely in appearance and disposition and he tells me many of the women he met through the dating agency were like her.

Both of my brothers in law are married to "Russian" mail order brides. (actually one from Odessa, Ukraine the other from Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, both ethnically Ukrainian, but culturally Russian, but prettier). One is a great gal, she is very domestic BUT also doesn't let her husband walk all over her either, she really cracks the whip, but he needs that, being a spoiled "youngest". :). The other one, no one in the family likes, she's rude, insensitive and elitist. I don't think either she or her husband are very happy, but they do seem to care for each other.

146 posted on 02/07/2005 3:18:24 PM PST by El Gato (Activist Judges can twist the Constitution into anything they want ... or so they think.)
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To: Slip18

That's not what I heard about Cialis. BTW, there must be a huge impotence problem out there. I was on my way to see a friend in a local industrial park when I spotted a company called Cailis (or something close to that) so I mentioned to somebody out front that all they had to do was switch a couple of letters and it would be "Cialis." The guy didn't know what Cialis was so I told him. When I did he got all excited and ran into the warehouse to tell his fellow workers. They rushed out and asked where they could get Cialis. The frightening thing is that all these guys were in their 20s and 30s.


147 posted on 02/07/2005 3:18:47 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: KidGlock

Maybe I am missing something. I've been married for almost a year and I have never been happier in my life. It's hard work, but I can't imagine life without my wife. I'd do anything to keep her from leaving. Go ahead, flame away...


148 posted on 02/07/2005 3:19:00 PM PST by Deo et Patria (Deo et Patria)
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To: spectre

A lot of these guys don't really seem to get the fact that men and women really ARE different. Most women I know are not sex-crazed nymphs and they're certainly not whores.


149 posted on 02/07/2005 3:19:51 PM PST by streetpreacher (There will be no Trolls in heaven.)
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To: El Gato

Forgot to mention that the Kirgiz is nicer looking, and can shoot your eyes out. She can also field strip and reassemble an AK, while blindfolds. She'd never fired a handgun before coming to the US, but she's pretty good with those as well. She has her own bolt action .270 "sniper rifle", and has taken game with it.


150 posted on 02/07/2005 3:20:35 PM PST by El Gato (Activist Judges can twist the Constitution into anything they want ... or so they think.)
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To: KidGlock; All

Men marry Women expecting them not to change .... They Do !

Women marry men expecting them to change .... They Don't !


151 posted on 02/07/2005 3:21:39 PM PST by ATOMIC_PUNK
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To: PJ-Comix; Clemenza
A Bruna from Sao Paulo or an Ana Maria from Bogota for me please!

Then brush up on your Spanish. A gringo who can speak the lingo is like a bigtime babe magnet for latina chix. But if you don't speak Spanish, most likely you will get a cold brushoff.

Unless she is just looking for an American meal ticket. Then as long as he breathes and is eligible for an American passport, she is good to go straight to divorce court after 5 years of marriage to her gringo-husband who is too much of a loser to marry a real American woman.

152 posted on 02/07/2005 3:21:56 PM PST by Tamar1973 (“Someone who doesn't know the difference between good & evil is worth nothing.”)
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To: najida

I hear you. My wife irons, cleans the house, and cooks wonderful meals for me every day. For my birthday the other day, she made homemade fresh baked bread, chicken cutlet parmigiana (a great Italian dish) and two layer chocolate cake for desert. Oh, and she's a classical pianist, and she played me DeBussy's Claire de Lune after dinner, from memory.

I'd take a bullet for her. What is single life, compared to this?


153 posted on 02/07/2005 3:22:44 PM PST by Deo et Patria (Deo et Patria)
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To: John Lenin
With all the porn and strip clubs women are degrading themselves to the point that any decent guy will stay a 100 miles away from any of the so-called, open minded feminists.

I don't get that whole strip club scene. Ft. Lauderdale has tons of them. I don't mind going to a strip club to celebrate a birthday with friends or for a bachelor party but to go into one by myself is kind of creepy. I knew a stripper once who invited me to her club so I went. However, I felt so creepy there by myself that I left within minutes.

154 posted on 02/07/2005 3:23:31 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: Tamar1973

You may find it interesting that one of the more attractive Brazillians I ever knew was a Messianic Jew, much as yourself.


155 posted on 02/07/2005 3:23:40 PM PST by Clemenza (Are you going to bark all day, little doggie, or are you going to bite?)
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To: Deo et Patria

Say your prayers that you found a good one.


156 posted on 02/07/2005 3:24:27 PM PST by John Lenin (Would you rather they push you out the window little girl ?)
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To: streetpreacher

Do not ask your wife for the money to order the mail-order Russian bride. Simply charge it to HER credit card and have them change the description line to something with the word "jewelry" in it. Hopefully, she'll expect a big surprise soon. Of course, what you actually order WILL BE A BIG SURPRISE she will never forget.


157 posted on 02/07/2005 3:24:42 PM PST by NoControllingLegalAuthority
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To: KidGlock
Why Women Cheat

The sex is better than with the slob at home.

158 posted on 02/07/2005 3:24:51 PM PST by Dont_Tread_On_Me_888 (John Kerry--three fake Purple Hearts. George Bush--one real heart of gold.)
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To: John Lenin

I do. Every single day.


159 posted on 02/07/2005 3:25:06 PM PST by Deo et Patria (Deo et Patria)
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To: Deo et Patria
Maybe I am missing something. I've been married for almost a year and I have never been happier in my life.

You have 6 years left until the 7 year itch kicks in. BTW, in the play, "The Seven Year Itch," unlike the movie, the guy actually makes it with his gorgeous neighbor.

160 posted on 02/07/2005 3:26:03 PM PST by PJ-Comix
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